Our attitudes towards anal sex have shifted tremendously over the last few decades. Famous rappers suddenly talk about eating booty like groceries and twerking is such a popular dance move that it begs the question, “Who’s not backing that ass up these days?” Pop-culture disciples even called 2014 the “Year of the Booty,” and well-known TV shows like The Mindy Project encourage butt play by openly discussing the erotic potential of our body’s back door in a funny, lighthearted way. Porn Hub producers claim that the request for anal sex videos has increased by 120 percent since 2009 and those searches aren’t by just the homosexual fans either. The subject is finally being taken seriously, but even if the activity is no longer shrouded in secrecy and social taboos, folks aren’t necessarily talking about it over coffee with their best friends yet. That, in turn, has made the habit extremely dangerous when placed in the wrong hands.
Anal sex can also be extremely pleasurable when it’s done right, so that’s why it’s so important for folks to learn about butt play safety and etiquette. You’ve already missed the boat on so many things in this life. Do you really want to get left out on what could be the best orgasm of this decade? I didn’t think so and neither do your friends, believe it or not. When 3000 millennials were surveyed recently about their opinions regarding butt play, more than half of them said they’d be willing to give it a try if they weren’t afraid of getting hurt.
For a lot of people, anal sex is a type of forbidden fruit that’s performed only on low-brow porn productions between a man and a woman (whose vagina is busted out) or between two homosexual men. Truth be told however, backdoor BBQ's are popular in every neighborhood, even in households where the preference is vaginal penetration. In fact, the practice of going in through the backdoor is commonly described as more intense than traditional intercourse, especially by those who know how to do it right. Therefore, anal sex is finally considered a legitimate way to reach orgasm despite the participant’s sexual orientation.
With that said, it’s surprising to think about how stigmatized ass play was just a few decades ago. Folks were still referring to it as sodomy back in the 90's, and even into the 2000's there remained a curious taboo attached. Anal sex, however, is a perfectly natural and relatively safe way to enjoy physical intimacy with or without a partner. It involves simple, targeted penetration into the anal canal where there are more nerve endings than damn near anywhere else on the body. Play can be enjoyed with a lover’s genitals and fingers or with an ergonomic sex toy, meaning safe stimulation is now completely customizable down to the depth, thickness and curvature of the penetrating object. This, in turn, has made anal sex a favored activity for adventurous folks especially.
Contrary to popular belief, anal penetration isn’t just a pastime reserved for the sickeningly perverted. While you do need to possess a decent sexual appetite to even consider this type of play, butt stuff is more widely accepted than most people realize. Cosmopolitan Magazine published an article way back in March of 2005 titled, “Is Everyone Having Anal Sex Without Me?” because the topic was suddenly being discussed in a more open and honest way than ever before. Fast-forward half a decade later and we’re talking about butt fucking at the breakfast table. It’s clear that the habit isn’t considered as taboo anymore, and recent studies revealing the biggest fans around the world only drive that point home even harder.
So, who’s really having ass parties without you? Here are the top 5 groups of people you’ll probably have the most in common with once you decide to partake in a little tush-pushin’:
Most likely, there are a few more groups that weren’t mentioned here and it’s probably because they’re too small of a faction to recognize. Smaller pods of people admit to having or trying anal sex and the World Health Organization says that an estimated 30% of all emergency room visits involving injury are caused by sexually related activities and/or positions. The numbers are estimated because, as luck would have it, a majority of people don’t like talking to strangers about the poor hamster suffocating in their anus.
A certain movie star (whose name rhymes with Gichard Rere) was publicly humiliated a few years back because of a rumor that described his visit to the local ER for the removal of a gerbil in his ass. And while the story was a made up one, most people believed it because they seem to inherently know how amazing anal sex can feel. The lengths to which some people will go to experience that kind of pleasure is often questionable, so it wasn’t overly outlandish for the public to buy the tabloid’s lies. Moral of the story: Butt stuff is not just for the animal kingdom. It’s for everyone from Hollywood’s elite to the single hermit masturbating profusely in his bedroom. In other words, yes, it feels good. However, I don’t suggest involving the family pet.
Either way, the majority of surveyed anal sex enthusiasts say that their favorite bedroom activity creates more intense pleasures, better intimacy and increased romance – at least when compared to traditional penetration practices. The reason for that has a lot to do with the nerve endings inside the anus but that’s not where the story ends. For men especially, the prostate gland (or p-spot) is the source of extreme physical nirvana when stimulated. For women, the sensations are a lot like an internal g-spot orgasm, only their more intense. Both sexes typically report warm, fuzzy feelings that radiate throughout their entire body, and neither said that the activity hurt when they did it right.
I was told a lot of things when I first started dabbling in anal stimulation and most of it turned out to be untrue. That’s why I think much of the fear and skepticism surrounding the values and pleasures of anal sex have a lot to do with misinformation. Myths are common when it comes to sex but some myths can have dire consequences. There may be a reason why you and/or your lover are apprehensive about punching the starfish and that’s perfectly fine. After all, it’s better to be safe than sorry. However, let’s make sure that those apprehensions are rooted in rock-hard facts instead of fear and fiction. Following are the seven most common misconceptions about butt play:
TRUTH: I remember my best friend in college telling me that trying anal for the first time would be painful. I unwittingly showed up for my date with a bottle of numbing cream and a shot of Jack Daniels by my side. Come to find out later as my sexuality matured, his experience was uncommon and most likely traumatic. It just so happens that backdoor penetration does not hurt one bit when you do it the right way. Needless to say, I neither needed that liquor nor asked him for advice on sex ever again. I found out that there’s only minimal discomfort (at first) and that pain is a signal of something gone wrong. Duly noted.
TIP: As long as both people come prepared with clean bodies, are willing to communicate, and can relax their muscles before penetration, anal sex is 100% pleasure and 0% pain. Performance anxiety will do you no favors here.
TRUTH: The human body is incapable of producing lubrication for the anus, which is why anal sex can sometimes be painful when not enough lubrication is in play. Experts warn of engaging in this kind of erotica without proper amounts of surface slipperiness because fissures can occur if the sex is too rough. Fortunately, there are numerous lubes that are specially formulated for backside penetration, with most of them being completely compatible with modern-day sex toys and all known skin types. The bad news is that your jar of Vaseline may not do the trick anymore. We’re all adults now. Go buy some fucking anal lube for crying out loud.
TIP: Choose a water-based or oil-based personal lubricant that’s extra long-lasting and hypoallergenic because the body will not be able to make its own juices once the substance dries and, unfortunately, this is one of the only times when this activity can be painful.
TRUTH: I’m sorry to break it to you like this, but it is possible for you to get fecal matter on the tip or inside the hole of your partner’s penis. That’s why they sell anal douches, kids. The occurrence of poop-dick is relatively rare but in extreme cases it can lead to potentially serious injuries like bacterial infections and UTIs. Most healthy people can control their bowels even if they’ve had a big meal or douched the anus beforehand. However, those who have stomach issues, suffer from food poisoning, are pregnant or intoxicated might have more of a reason to be scared.
TIP: Wear a skin-safe, textured condom if you’re worried about getting poop all over the place which, by the way, is an irrational fear because even obligatory poop-dick is slight and hardly noticeable.
TRUTH: Some people report sensations of needing to go number two when they’re being penetrated anally, which only deepens the fears of the people from the poop-dick group. Yes, you’re most likely going to feel like you need to drop a deuce when you’re taking it up the ass but that’s just a natural reaction of the healthy human body. I assure you that as long as you don’t bare down in submission to those sensations you will not – I repeat, WILL NOT – shit all over your partner’s penis or sex toy. Also, the feeling goes away after you’ve done it a few times, so chill, Bill.
TIP: To stay on the safe side and quaff your worries, try to go to the bathroom at least an hour before engaging in any type of anal stimulation. That way, any uncontrollable urges will be met with something similar to a queef instead of a turd.
TRUTH: The fact of the matter is that your partner’s penis or sex toy may hit your intestine if the thrust is too deep. That’s the only other way that anal sex is ever painful, by the way. Think about it like this: The human penis is usually long, straight and hard when it’s penetrating the anus. So, extreme asshole depths are the anatomical equivalent of smashing head-on into the cervix. Not only will it shut shit down immediately but it may prevent you from being able to enjoy backdoor play ever again. You have been warned.
TIP: Only use specialized positioning equipment and/or limb restraining BDSM gear after you’ve become comfortable with anal penetration and know your exact canal depths. Do a quick finger test or use a small sex toy if you’re unsure about the measurements.
TRUTH: Once upon a time I got a clever little meme pinned to my Facebook page that read, “All daddy wanted was some anal sex” and I thought it was so funny that I ran home and showed it to my partner. Three years later, we have two kids and much more cynical appreciation for “clever” social media posts. As you can imagine, we had no idea that ejaculate could migrate from the anus to the outer part of the vagina and, according to the fundamental laws of nature, semen near a pussy usually equals child support. Needless to say, we make sure to wear condoms now…when we get a chance to have sex, that is.
TIP: Never use anal sex as a form of birth control. Meanwhile, keep in mind that sexually transmitted diseases (or STIs for the new kids) are also present in the anal canal even if body fluids aren’t spilled or shared.
TRUTH: Hoes are always worried about their snatches busting loose after years of wear and tear, so it makes sense that bros would be concerned as well. Whether you’re a male or female enjoying anal sex, listen to this: Your asshole is just as elastic as the vaginal canal and the urethra. Any improved tolerance for length and/or girth is the result of increased relaxation and familiarity, which may feel like the hole has gotten bigger. You haven’t wrecked your Ralph (or Ralphetta) just yet, my friends. It would take an enormous object and virtually continual penetration to make your flatulence sound like aquatic equipment, so there you go.
TIP: Prolong your size tolerance journey by starting with a small sex toy (or unfortunately endowed partner) so you can work your way up slowly. Remember, boys and girls, bigger isn’t always better. Try something with a curve to mix things up a bit without pain.
The lesson here is a simple one. If you can get away from all the bad information and nonsense myths that surround anal sex then you can start living your best life without worrying about your health, your sexual orientation or the way society will judge you. When the smoke clears, most of us want to try it anyway. Naysayers are just jealous that we’re ahead of our time (again). The only thing left to do now is figure out ways to approach the situation like a classically trained porn star. You can do it. Put your ass into it.
I’m this encouraging about butt play because I know how wonderful it can be when you and your partner are properly prepared for it. The following tips are relatively small things but I didn’t know about them when I first got started. As a result, I have paid dearly for my ignorance and that’s why I’m passing the savings on to you. Get ready for the party in your pants by setting the table with grace, dignity and cleanliness. Here’s how:
By following these five simple steps you and your partner should be able to enjoy anal sex for all its worth. Of course, you’re not quite ready to get started just yet. There are still a few must-known safety precautions that cannot be ignored. Take it from someone who knows: Unsafe, ill-prepared butt play does more harm for humanity than good. You have been warned.
Backdoor play can be fun for everyone but that’s only if it’s respected as the erotic art form that it has rightfully become. Just when you think you know all there is to know about anal stimulation there’s more to learn. Most importantly, there are more ways to stay safe. Here are five guaranteed methods for ensure maximum safety and pleasure while enjoying anal penetration:
Safe sex can still be satisfying sex because safe sex prevents problems that can reduce the amount of pleasure that you and/or your partner experience. The world’s most perverted pros understand this, so don’t get caught up in the heat of the moment because you can’t afford it like they can. Those porn stars you like watching never reveal behind the scenes bloopers of the fluffers and the cleanup crew. This is real life, ladies and gentlemen. “You can’t hit rewind once you hit it from behind.” I believe Shakespeare wrote that. Or was it Sir-Mix-a-Lot?
Trying out backdoor pleasures for the first time can be very intimidating even if I spell it out for you and say that everything’s going to be perfectly fine. It will be as long as you’ve followed the simple guidelines placed before you, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t a few ways to further enhance the experience so that both partners get the most bang for their buck. Anal stimulation and penetration require knowledge, preparation, skills and open-mindedness, plus it doesn’t hurt to spice things up in a safe and efficient way every now and then. See if one of these super easy tricks helps you out with that at all:
Responsible anal sex sometimes calls for the help of toy, believe it or not. Forget what your mama said, it’s now okay to play with your ass in good company. However, body parts don’t always do the trick, partners aren’t always willing to participate, and physical mobility is sometimes limited. Aside from those reasons, using pleasure products to increase sexual satisfaction simply makes the experience more fruitful for both parties. It’s a win-win situation for everyone as long as the basics are followed. You remember what those are, don’t you? Refer back to the top of this guide if not.
When you’re ready to start playing in the big leagues of butt play, slowly begin incorporating ass-friendly devices like the ones listed below:
Although there are plenty of options to choose from, be sure to select your sex toys with a proper helping of due diligence. You can accomplish that by studying buyer’s guides and real customer reviews before spending any money. Remember, most anal sex toys don’t come with a warranty unless the device is broken or it malfunctions in some unpreventable way. Contact the device’s maker for more detailed information regarding the toy’s dimensions, intended purposes and materials.
Butt-fucking is amazing but only if you know how to do it right. Understand what it is, what it isn’t, and how to participate in it safely so that everyone gets satisfied. Remember the fundamental rules and engagement and try not to forget that some of what you’re about to experience is completely new to your body. Expect the unexpected and also expect trace amounts of blood, especially if this is your first time. Concerned about swapping those kinds of bodily fluids with a partner? Strap on a skin-safe condom and go to town without fear.
Meanwhile, try to keep in mind that the walls of the average person’s anus are extremely sensitive and delicate to the touch, meaning you don’t have to cram your ham into their hole to make them feel your presence. Good, deep anal sex can be very pleasurable if you take it slow, just prepare yourself for uncommon bathroom habits in the days following your excursion. If you see hemorrhoids or experience any heavy rectal bleeding after you play, see a doctor immediately because you might have broken your asshole. I’m just sayin’.
About Blake Parker
Blake Parker makes Ron Jeremy look like Mother Theresa. His honest take on allthings pertaining to pleasure and relationships has made him a household name that’s synonymous with sexuality. Blake’s unique perspective on toys and techniques prepares the mind and body for more than just an incredible orgasm. Hisentertaining sex toy reviews, buyer’s guides, and How-To articles inform consumers of what nobody else will say. His readers demolish emotional/physical strongholds, tear down social taboos, and become more comfortable in their own skin as he and his partner enlighten the world one sex toy at a time. Notoriety isn’t the goal with Blake; satisfaction is.