They say taking care of yourself is a sign of confidence, but cleanliness (or lack thereof) is indicative of so much more than that, especially when you start considering its effects on the way people interact with one another. Some cultures prize hygiene in such a way that it would seem alien to other societies. For example, most of the Orthodox Jewish community performs routine cleansing rituals that have been in practice since the birth of that religion. Meanwhile, secular groups make just as much of an effort to stay fresh as they continually introduce and refine new trends in the self-care arena. As of today, personal hygiene is a globally appreciated effort that’s considered monumentally important, most notably for the sexually active adult.
A survey that probably didn’t even need to be done was recently conducted to find out how people felt about having sex with someone whose hygiene was bad. The findings were pretty much exactly as you’d expect, with a vast majority of people reporting they’d say “no thanks” to a romp in the sack if their lover was unkempt. Granted, there were varying degrees of tolerance and the lengths of the participants’ relationships were a factor as well, but the general consensus was that clean kink meant dirtier experiences and more permissive play. Now that’s the kind of oxymoron I can get behind. Perhaps if more people appreciated the value of proper personal hygiene, the world would be a much better and more sexually expressive place to live. It’s just a theory but it makes sense, wouldn’t you agree?
What Is Personal Hygiene?
Understanding what I’m talking about might help. Perhaps the confusion and/or indecisiveness you’re experiencing is due to the fact that you’re not quite certain what hygiene even is. That’s okay, because my partner in college didn’t know either yet still slept with everyone on campus. The quality of orgasms they enjoyed was undoubtedly compromised but that’s their problem now, not mine. There’s a reason why my sex life got better as the years went by and it’s because I learned how to appreciate personal hygiene in a more sophisticated way. Now, I don’t get down in Funky Town because I value myself too much for that nasty nonsense.
Personal hygiene is vital to any adult who enjoys getting frisky with another person, but it’s also crucial to the avid masturbator as well. Indeed, true self-care and relationship responsibility starts with a rigorous washing routine that includes attention to all parts of the body (not just the key areas like the crotch and pits). Here’s how most modern-day dictionaries defines the concept of hygiene:
“a series of safe, customized, effective practices or rituals that are performed to preserve one’s health”
The World Health Organization goes on the explain that proper practices can help prevent or slow down the spread of certain diseases. Therefore, the actual definition of personal hygiene is more like a whole-body awareness that acts as a social marker, a trendsetter, an aphrodisiac and an insurance policy all in one. It’s a good thing that most hygienic practices are cost-effective, if not completely free because those are some pretty important factors when it comes to swapping spit with another human being (or not). As a matter of fact, this subject matter is so integral to the advancement of our species that there are entire websites devoted to helping people do it better than they did in the past.
What Does Personal Hygiene Entail?
As the official definition suggests, personal hygiene consists of many different things and can vary widely from one person to another. It’s a rather general idea that’s tailored to the participants’ wants, needs and restrictions as they pertain to their personalities, relationships, spiritual views and economic status. However, the main idea is that the individual and his or her surroundings are kept clean, updated, protected and functioning properly at all times. And while that may seem like a lot of work for such an obscure ritual, I assure you it’s worth the effort and so do health experts around the world.
For good measure, it’s probably wise to familiarize yourself with what’s commonly considered the three main areas of woe. That way, you can devise a feasible plan to get your shit in order across the board. For a lot of people, unfortunately, personal hygiene means little more than taking a quick shower or slapping on deodorant. Truth be told, adequate cleanliness almost always consists of paying close attention to the following things:
Exterior Maintenance
Exterior hygiene, especially as it pertains to adult sexual activity, includes habits that help maintain certain aspects of personal grooming, appearance and odor. This often involves proper washing, drying and styling of the hair, the application of colognes, antiperspirants and scented lotions as well as a careful selection of the clothes you wear. Since lovers will come in contact with your outer body before they’ll ever be allowed inside your orifices, it’s important that you give them a friendly invitation in as many ways as possible. Here are the areas you’ll want to cover:
- The Things You See
First impressions can last a lifetime, so make sure you’re presentable before engaging in sexual activity of any kind. Not that being messy will prevent you from having sex completely because I’ve seen it happen, it’s just that outer cleanliness helps you appear more attractive to potential mates which, in turn, decreases rejection and boosts confidence. Clean up your look and create a healthy habit of doing so every day until it becomes second nature.
TIP: Try updating your appearance to fit new styles, trends and personal hygiene products for your unique skin type. - The Things You Don’t See
Surface cleaning and hooker baths might work for some people but you’re better than that. Besides, you won’t have a place to hide your dirty little secrets once the clothes come off so you might as well handle it now. As someone who has been duped by this kind of cleverness many times before, take my advice: Nobody wants a stinky, hairy surprise when they’re getting it on. Talk about a mood killer. - The Things You’re Insecure About
At some point you’ll have to come face to face with those physical, psychological and sexual insecurities of yours. Keeping them a secret is no good, nor is neglecting to take care of things because you’re hung up on personal issues. Set that bullshit aside, primp your pros and your cons, then start humping like you’ve got nothing to lose because, quite frankly, you don’t. We all feel like shit when we’re naked and vulnerable. - The Spots Used for Sex
Concentrate extra hard on any areas of the body that will be exposed and/or played with during sex – your crotch, your mouth, your asshole, your hands and possibly even your feet. Listen, you never know what direction things will head in when the temperature starts to rise, so come prepared with a vessel that’s ready and willing for a hot beef injection. Remember, spoiled meat is for the dogs (and they don’t even like it).
Interior Fueling
They say you are what you eat and there’s actually a lot of truth to that. For example, did you know that the foods you consume can significantly change the way your body looks, functions, smells and tastes? All that means is that you need to keep a well-balanced diet as much as you can, as well as get some exercise at least three times per week. Sound like a lot of trouble for very little return? When sex partners were asked about their biggest turn offs in the bedroom, many of them said physical sloppiness, body odor and foul-tasting ejaculate were the main culprits.
Eating clean means being clean and feeling like a million bucks more often than not. Proper nutrition fuels your organs, balances your hormones and optimizes reproductive functioning, thereby naturally increasing the dieter’s stamina (especially as it pertains to sexual activity). So, sexually active adults who engage in regular exercise and/or fuel their bodies with healthy foods tend to have much better experiences overall. In fact, doctors and therapists believe that all of this is tied to arousal, erection ability and orgasmic intensity. Plus, it prevents your jizz and genitals from smelling and tasting like garbage truck juice.
Domicile Management
Some people don’t realize the importance of this, but keeping a clean home and car is a big part of practicing good hygiene as a sexually active adult. After all, you have a responsibility to your lover to bring them into a safe, comfortable spot for lovemaking. Either way, most folks don’t want their bare-naked ass rubbing all over your nasty ass bed sheets or couch cushions, so take some time to do a little domicile management or risk being called a jackass by your partner(s). Here are a few of the spots you’ll want to pay special attention to:
- Surfaces
There’s nothing wrong with a little surface cleaning as long as it’s in the right zones of your home. The most important surfaces to keep clean, especially when you’re a busy body, typically include things like the sinks, the tabletops, the mirrors, the doorknobs or handles and the floors. Truth be told, you can scrub your ass like it’s your job and still be seen as a slob, but only if you keep a funky house despite my best advice. Ask yourself this: “Would I assume my partner’s crotch was clean if I walked into a mess like mine?” The answer is probably not and the devil is in the details. - Furniture
You honestly think you’ll be considered truly clean if all your furniture is filthy? You’re dead wrong, because a lot of lovers look at those things immediately upon stepping into your home and they size up your bedroom abilities by what evaluating what they see. In other words, the condition of your couches, chairs and bed are extremely important, especially when you’re trying to get laid without being seen as a dirty hobo. To prevent that from happening at the worst possible moment, make sure your sheets have been washed, your comforter smells fresh, your upholstery isn't slathered in mysterious substance and nothing is broken. Yes, personal hygiene has a lot to do with the condition of your home and furniture because, quite frankly, the way you live speaks volumes about the way you make love and we all know it. - Food Service Areas
Chances are, you’ll eventually offer some kind of food or snack while hanging out with your boo. Do you really think they’ll be willing to make you an after-sex sandwich if your kitchen looks like a bomb went off in it? There’s nothing attractive about the foul smells of rotting food and nobody wants their hand to stick to the counter top when they touch it. So, do what all the cool kids do instead – keep areas used for storing and/or preparing foods neat, clean and sanitized at all times. Think about it: How hot and bothered can you really get when someone’s got diarrhea from food poisoning and bacterial cross-contamination? I guess that all depends on what type of shit you’re into (literally). - Restrooms
Speaking of taking unexpected toilet breaks, is your restroom ready for company or does it need a little work? They say the bathroom is one of the funkiest places in a modern person’s home – a place where bacteria and communicable diseases fly around like a delicate scent in the air. Breathe that in or let it come in contact with your body and it’s lights out on your love life for a while. After sex, most people want to take a piss to prevent a UTI and/or wash the juices and lube from their skin. What they don’t want to do is move your dirty laundry out of way or line the toilet seat with paper in the home of the person they just fucked. Talk about an existential crisis when it’s cleaner at the gas station than at your partner’s house. - Air
They say scent is tied to memory, so don’t let your lovers remember you as the douchebag whose house smelled like a locker room if you don’t have to. The quality of the air in your home and/or car is vital and it’s for more than just the pleasant smells you can produce. Aromatherapy has been proven effective for numerous health related applications like stress relief, drowsiness, congestion, arousal, etc. What do you think pheromones are all about, folks? Besides, you could have airborne illnesses floating around and not even know about it. Clean it up, folks, or suffer the cold consequences of this unfortunate oversight.
Truly hygienic sexually active adults understand that proper cleanliness requires more than a quick shower and shave. They know that certain aspects of their home and lifestyle may not be conducive with healthy intimacy so they work towards creating a more inviting environment all around. Only newbies think personal hygiene consists of external body-consciousness only. Legit sanitation of yourself and your surroundings takes a unique understanding of how the human body works and how dirt, oil and germs travel from one person to another. So don’t be shy about scrubbing before rubbing. All the cool kids are doing it.
Who Needs It?
To be honest, every single person on the planet needs to practice good personal hygiene. We’re all filthy animals and our bodies function pretty much the same across the board. However, there are certain groups of people for whom extra care is required because of their body type, gender, lifestyle and/or occupation. Here are those fine yet funky folks without further ado:
- Women
Gals need to take genital hygiene especially seriously whether they’re having sex or not. Unfortunately, the continual concern makes some women obsessed with keeping the area clean and odor-free, but over cleaning the vagina can do more harm than good because there are naturally occurring bacteria that need to be preserved. Therefore, true pussy power comes from knowing how to shop for and use the right feminine hygiene products. It also means knowing better than to wash out the inside of the vaginal canal with anything but a pre-approved douching device (every now and then…maybe). Plus ladies, you’ll want to thoroughly clean your clams before and after all sexual activity, especially if it results in any ejaculations.
Fortunately, there is no need to increase vaginal washing just because of menstruation as long as you use the right kinds of sanitary products. However, certain types of clothing can cause issues if they’re not worn responsibly – tight pants, stockings, silky underwear, thongs, etc. Also, try to stay away from applying scented products, perfumes or deodorants directly to your crotch. Just take a shower and be done with it.
TIP: Always wash and wipe from front to back, never back to front, as doing so allows a nasty spread of fecal bacteria into the vaginal opening which may cause serious infections. - Men
The human penis is a remarkable organ that doesn’t get as much attention when it comes to hygiene as some think it should. Keeping the dick clean is crucial, especially when it’s time for penetration and/or masturbation with a partner or sex toy. Fortunately, all of that is done rather simply and without needing internal scrubbing. In other words, men only need to wash off the outside of their cock, balls and assholes to be considered completely clean in their nether regions. However, special care does need to be taken for men who are uncircumcised or undergoing penile surgeries. Ever heard the term “smegma”? Yeah, it’s gross but it’s totally preventable.
Just like the ladies, guys should be cleaning their junk after each and every sex session whether it’s with a partner or not. They should be scrubbing their ball sacks and anuses as well, most importantly if anal stimulation is in the cards. Furthermore, men should stay away from clothing that’s too tight or made from a non-breathable material. And as always, never apply colognes, scented lotions or deodorants directly to your family jewels unless you want excommunicated from the will. You have been warned.
TIP: Use a non-abrasive, hypoallergenic soap and keep hands/fingernails clean at all times because you use those things to hold your dick while you pee. - Athletes
People who work out all the time or engage in athletic activities should be particularly cautious about personal hygiene, especially if they sweat a lot while doing their thing. The accumulation of perspiration may look sexy on some commercials but it really stinks and it’s guaranteed to turn partners off immediately. Therefore, those who participate in sports, group exercises, or extreme physical stunts should be extremely careful not to spread disease and/or share their mustiness with others who don’t want anything to do with it. Practice good hygiene or stand way the hell over there with your nasty, smelly ass. Nice abs though.
TIP: Use a combination antiperspirant/deodorant before getting busy and always take a lengthy shower immediately afterward a workout.
- Performers
Performance jobs can be very tough, often leaving the body riddled with less than hygienic nooks and crannies that need to be properly washed, scrubbed and dried before the next curtain call. Like sports enthusiasts, performers tend to sweat a lot and/or deal with things like jock itch and athlete’s foot on a regular basis. And while nobody says you have quit your hobby or let go of your passion, you do need to take special precautions in terms of personal hygiene when you’re a performer, especially if you plan to get it on afterwards. Regardless of how amazing you look on stage or behind the camera, what lies beneath your costume is what will mostly determine the quality of your sex life.
TIP: Thoroughly wash all stage makeup from your face to prevent the development of acne and sebaceous cysts. - Mechanics
Mechanics: They’re called grease monkeys for a reason. The process of fixing a machine can be extremely messy, leaving grime built-up deep beneath the nail bed and inside the cuticles – not a good thing if you’re a hands-on lover. Plus, mechanics work exceptionally hard and usually sweat their asses off under the hood. As a result, the end of long day can result in some pretty awful sights and smells, meaning a decent shower is always in order. Furthermore, mechanical chemicals can be very harsh to the skin and that’s the last thing you need to worry about when touching your lover’s genitals, now isn’t it?
TIP: Use a specially formulated degreasing agent on your hands and arms to remove stubborn buildup before it enters the body. - Patients
Sick people are especially dangerous to be around, but things can go from bad to worse really quick when you incorporate any form of close physical contact and/or sexual intimacy. Germs and communicable diseases spread fast and more easily than many people realize. So, when you’re feeling under the weather either refrain from sexual contact (yeah right) or double up on your hygienic efforts. Wash your hands as often as possible and try not to breathe on anyone and make out too aggressively. As a matter of fact, this would be a good time to use antibacterial soaps and air-purifying products like diffused essential oils. Bonus: Doing so will help the air in your home smell less like an overpopulated hospital.
TIP: Contact a doctor to be sure it’s okay to have sexual contact with a partner while you’re sick with something contagious. - Pet Owners
He’s cute and he’s cuddly and when you wrap him in a blanket, he looks like baby Yoda. Your furry friend is the best but he’s super dirty and his funkiness can rub off in all the wrong places. Between the accumulation of hair and dander, pet ownership can be extremely frustrating when you’re trying to create a hygienic home. So, either get rid of your fur person or learn how to take care of them appropriately. This includes giving them regular baths and sweeping up the shedding hairs, especially if they’re on your bed sheets or pillows. If your lover is allergic, this is monumentally important because the presence of pets can cause an allergic reaction. Plus, getting dog or cat hair stuck in your crack is just nasty.
TIP: Don’t let your dogs sleep in bed with you unless you’ve got time to remove the hair or can swap out the sheets for some freshly washed ones. - Smokers
People who smoke aren’t necessarily unhygienic but their hands and mouths might be dirtier than you think. The presence of cigarette or marijuana smoke also lingers in the air, plus it attaches itself to your hair and clothes which can make you smell unappealing to potential mates. It’s an allergen and a performance reducer too, meaning your personal hygiene routine may need fortified if you like lighting one up (even every now and then). Therefore, either smoke your bones and wash up immediately afterwards or try to quit completely. Even if your partners have a fetish for smokers, let them know that they shouldn’t have the same fetish for the serious health problems that may arise.
TIP: Keep a small bottle of hypoallergenic hand sanitizer by the bed next to the ashtray so you can have you smoke and play responsibly too. - Sexually Active Adults
Couples and individuals who engage in any type of sexual activity have a duty to be as clean as humanly possible no matter what’s going on in their lives. Bad hygiene can turn an otherwise happy duo in a pair of resentful exes, so don’t let that happen to you. Remember, the way your partner feels about you is due to a combination of unique things, including the way you look, smell and taste.
Keep the good stuff flowing by getting rid of any factors that might hinder your sexual success. And since you’re such a well-rounded person with lots of love to give, you probably enjoy tons of different forms of debauchery in the bedroom. With that said, there are a few special points that need to be made or else your efforts on personal hygiene will get thwarted right out of the gate. Here’s what you need to know:
- Sex Toys Need Cleaned Too
Make damn sure you’re cleaning off your favorite sex toys before and after using them, whether with a partner or not, because body fluids, lubricants and environmental debris can be present on the surface without you even knowing it. - Anal Sex Is Super Messy
Butt stuff is awesome but it’s also very dirty back there, even if you wash up nicely before hopping into bed. Therefore, make certain that your anal playthings are properly cleaned with an appropriate soap and that none of the devices be used vaginally until that’s done. - Oral Stimulation Sucks in a Dirty Mouth
Let’s all eat a big dinner, not brush our teeth, and then perform oral sex on another. Wouldn’t food poisoning in our genitals be fun? No. No it would not. And neither would a subsequent yeast infection which, by the way, can be extremely painful and smelly. Don’t make me wash your mouth out with soap like big mama.
Please don’t be the kind of person who thinks this is all too difficult to realistically put into practice. Staying clean isn’t that hard, folks. What’s tough is apologizing to your lovers, setting up doctor’s appointments and paying for medications you shouldn’t even have needed. Have you ever been to the E.R. with a sex-related injury? Do you want an honorary invitation to the free clinic for a preventable health condition? I didn’t think so. Clean up your act, Jack (or Jill). Humanity depends on it.
7 Reasons Cleanliness Is So Important When Having Sex or Masturbating
Proper personal hygiene is vital because it protects the lives of the people around you and it helps to stop the spread of disease. For the sexually active adult, however, cleanliness means something else entirely. Here are the top seven reasons why being a neat and tidy lover matters:
- It Makes You More Attractive
There’s a ZZ Top song that says, “Girls go crazy for a sharp-dressed man” and we can all agree that ladies look amazing when they get dolled up. Good hygiene, therefore, makes you appear more appealing to potential partners. And let’s be honest, you need as much of that as you can get. - It Keeps You Safe
Personal cleanliness is important mostly because it keeps you and your lovers safe from the dangers of disease, but did you know that it can also protect you from device malfunctions and painful accidents? Don’t put yourself or your investments in harm’s way if you can help it. - It’s Cheaper than the Alternatives
Being clean while you’re having sex and/or masturbating is one of the best ways to prevent damages to your property or person. Broken parts and replacement pieces can be extremely expensive and not all warranties cover user negligence. Remember that the next time you complain about the price of a toy (or a doctor’s office visit). - It Produces Pleasant and/or Arousing Scents
Good personal hygiene almost always produces pleasant smells because of the scents of the soaps and lotions you use in the shower. This, in turn, adds to how attractive you seem to potential partners (especially if you wear pheromones) and it draws tons of positive attention your way too. Hey there, hot stuff. Is this seat taken?
- It Aids in Performance Enhancement
Clean bodies mean kinkier sex – oral, anal, toy time, you name it. Plus, remember that proper nutrition can help prolong your bedroom performances and make your ejaculate taste like candy instead of salty rat poison. With that said, personal hygiene is especially important to anyone who wants to impress their partner in the sack. - It Improves Sexual Sensations
Cleanliness leads to confidence which leads to more intensified orgasms. It’s just science, folks. When you’re properly washed and ready to go, you perform like you’ve got nothing to prove and enjoy yourself (and your lover) a lot more in the process. On top of that, rigorous washing brings blood to the surface of the skin and showers with your partner can be sexy. - It Helps with Romantic Planning
Staying hygienic at all times frees your schedule for more important things like getting laid with maximum efficiency, for example. You won’t have to stop and wipe things down or do loads of laundry when you should be shooting loads of cum into your lover’s bum, but only if you keep it classy and clean around the clock.
The Dangers of Being Dirty
Getting dirty and being dirty are two completely different things, with unique outcomes associated with each one. News flash: Maintaining an unhealthy lifestyle can do more damage to your love life than you think. It’s not just about being healthy, happy and popular either. Here are a few prime examples of the dangers I’m talking about:
- The Stinky
Although stenches aren’t necessarily dangerous in terms of your health, they sure as hell dictate the health of your relationships. Stinky odors caused by bad hygiene are an extreme turn off for most partners, plus they can make it virtually impossible for you to make friends in the first place. - The Sticky
Improperly maintained bodies and pleasure products tend to possess a sort of filminess to them, at least on the surface. Pretty sure that’s not sexy at all, plus it can significantly decease the quality of the sensations felt by participants and partners when using body parts and sex toys to delivery orgasms. No Bueno. - The STDs
Not only do sexually transmitted diseases and infections spread by direct physical contact but they can also be spread through indirect contact, did you know that? Unfortunately, we don’t always know who has an STD, so keeping ourselves and our surroundings clean can reduce our exposure to those things and ensure our genitals are properly functioning for as long as humanly possible. - The Sex Toys
Your dildos and vibrators deserve to have their own cleaning process after the kinds of orgasms they give you. Unkempt sex toys can break or malfunction more easily that devices that are properly maintained. In fact, your manufacturer’s warranty might even become void if you don’t clean your toys like big girls and boys. - The Depletion
To add more fuel to the funkiness fire, dirty sex toys can begin to show signs of wear and tear faster than those that are kept clean. Material depletion is a real problem among sex toy enthusiasts, especially those who use lots of different lube formulations or have multiple sex partners. - The Discretion
Didn’t your mama ever tell you not to air your dirty laundry? Well, that’s exactly what you do when you walk around filthy. Strangers can tell right away what you’re about. So, improve your ability to keep certain things a secret by staying fresh and clean like Ludacris in the 90's.
Final Considerations
For those of you not yet convinced of the dangers of poor hygiene, please allow me to put a finer point on this: The common cold, which does not have a cure, is passed from one person to another through close contact 100% of the time. In most of those cases, the person who had the cold wasn’t the culprit for the transmission. Interestingly, it’s usually the person catching the cold who didn’t have proper hygiene habits in place. Therefore, it’s not always about you, it’s about others, and that’s why it’s so important for the sexually active adult. Now go wash more than just your hands because you’ve got some serious (and safe) lovemaking to do.
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