Making Your Man Commit to a Monogamous Relationship

You’re not the only one who feels like your man won’t commit to a monogamous relationship. According to recent surveys, more than half of the sexually active adult population has been the victim of infidelity at least once in their lives. To make matters worse, cheating isn’t always synonymous with a non-committal attitude. Even people who remain faithful in a relationship can have major problems staying put. There seems to be an enormous chasm between what men want and what their partners can provide, so what gives? Is it possible to get commitment out of your man or has all hope been lost?

You’re not alone in thinking commitment is the ultimate goal in life. Men and women have been struggling with the concept since the dawn of time, with most of our beloved fairy tales having plots that are centered around things like sexual scandals, emotional upheavals, and the thirst for unrequited love. It’s a pretty big deal, this commitment thing, plus many scholars consider it the glue that holds the fabric of our society together. It shapes destinies, it molds families, and it creates a better bond between partners if nothing else. We all know that a lack of devotion to your lover can have tremendous consequences – turning friends into instant enemies and ruining a perfectly good thing for no good reason. That’s why it’s important to figure this out.

Like in the game of chess, the best defense is a good offense. After all, this has got to be a tough transition for a man who’s not used to settling down. As a partner of someone like that, you’ve need to step into their shoes and see things from a different point of view. For instance, those on the other side of the spectrum usually consider commitment a psychological, financial and/or physical trap. They think being loyal to one person limits their ability to live life to the fullest, at least in the long run. Other guys think monogamy is an outdated social construct, while a few go so far as to consider it generally unrewarding if not completely pointless. And while those men are wrong on several levels, it helps to know where they’re coming from, doesn’t it? Checkmate.

Another thing you’ll want to know is the definition of legitimate commitment – the typical behaviors, the attitudes, the thought processes, the habits. Some men will gladly give their loyalty to a partner as long as it’s not brought to their attention; they don’t like labels and they hate making a fuss. By knowing how to recognize a truly committed man, maybe then you can silently transition between having a casual relationship and a long-term union. In the meantime, use the tips and tricks provided here to snag you a good one and keep him coming back for more.

What Does Commitment Mean?

According to the dictionary, commitment can mean a lot of different things. In fact, that’s probably why there’s so much confusion when this kind of conversation begins. Nobody really knows how far it goes or how wide the gap between faithfulness and chronic infidelity is. Generally speaking, however, committing to something involves becoming dedicated to a certain goal, belief, cause or course of action. Loyalty can pertain to many things, not just intimate relationships, including scholarly endeavors, personal achievements, professional aspirations, and religious dogmas. You’ve got to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything (or anyone/no one), but therein lies the problem. Few understand what it means to be truly committed to someone or something, so they naturally assume the worst and then avoid it all costs.

Fortunately, commitment isn’t nearly as complicated, difficult or life threatening as some make it seem. The idea is rather simple, actually. A person enters into a voluntarily agreement with another adult wherein they’re both expected and/or obligated to do something specific or fulfill a definitive need without compromising the pre-set boundaries of the relationship. It obviously requires a responsible person to think very carefully but some people are afraid to go that far because of unanswered questions and it’s fucking sad. If we all understand what it means to be committed to a monogamous relationship, some of us might not freak out as much when we’re asked “So, what are we anyway?”

By the way, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to know someone’s intentions in a relationship; don’t believe the hype that says otherwise. Life is short and your good years don’t last forever. So, if commitment is what you’re after then you owe it to yourself to seek it out with all your heart. Making a man commit to you can feel like an uphill battle at times because old habits die hard. However, you’re allowed to walk away if your guy just won’t give up the goods after several attempts. I just wanted to get that out of the way before ending it on a happier note. The good news: There are a handful of signs that can help you determine if that dude of yours is the type to dedicate himself to a monogamous relationship.

Signs He’s Ready to Commit (or Nah)

Don’t feel bad. Nobody wants to waste their precious time on someone who’s never going to commit to them or their relationship. Sometimes, a partner is a non-committal pain in the ass no matter what you say or do. That’s life, but there’s a way to make life your bitch instead of the other way around. The first step is to educate yourself on what a potential devotee looks like. The following are the top 10 signs that he’s good and ready to give commitment a chance:

1. He Craves Your Company
   Contrary to unpopular belief, the average man isn’t that complicated. In fact, he’s likely the kind of creature who commonly thinks “If it feels good, I’m gonna do it.” With impulse control challenges like that, it’s a very big sign that he’s ready to stick around when he’s constantly seeking your attention. It’s especially huge when he could be doing something else like hanging out with this friends or catching up on his hobbies. If your man is clingy in some way (and I don’t mean overly jealous or controlling), then you’ve won half the battle already. He will invest his time when he’s ready to commit, not just his body and/or his money.
2. He Makes Plans with You in Them
   Regardless of what his day to day habits might look like, that man of yours still knows how to make plans. He plans to go see his buddies. He plans for the big game. He plans his work schedule and knows his own birthday, right? Well, when he starts making arrangements for you two to hang out it’s a good sign that things are going well. This is especially true if there’s something else he could or should be doing. Keep in mind that men are human beings with lives of their own, so every now and then you might get bumped for something more important. For the most part, however, you’ll know he’s ready to commit when he’s devoting chunks of his life to strengthening your relationship.
3. He Doesn’t Do a Disappearing Act
   A big part of making plans is keeping them, so don’t be fooled by the guy who has no follow-through. Men who aren’t prepared to settle down will have a hard time committing to schedules that don’t involve some sort of kick-back for them (money, pussy, notoriety, etc.). Guys who want to be serious with their partner don’t go vanishing into thin air every time something exciting comes along. They don’t disappear and then act as if nothing happened. Most of the time, a dude who is interested in you will keep you close for fear of someone else snatching you up. If he frequently leaves you to the wolves, it’s because he’s not ready to be a part of your pack.
4. He Encourages Truth and Realness
   When a guy is truly into you and interested in being in a long-term, monogamous relationship, you’ll notice him start to encourage deeper connections. He’ll stop being so judgmental about your appearance, mannerisms and habits, focusing instead on how your personality jives with his own. Being your real, unguarded selves means no pretense to get in the way of intimacy. It’s a good sign he thinks you’re swell and wants to explore every avenue of your mind (not just your body), plus it gives you the opportunity to see a little bit of his softer side. But if he constantly fibs, stretches the truth or hides details about his life, he’s just not that into you (or himself apparently).  
5. He's Accountable for His Actions, Especially to You
   Bitch don’t kill my vibe. That’s the go-to motto for men who aren’t trying to hear any of that commitment bullshit. Unfortunately, their “vibe” is more like a way of life that doesn’t include settling down and less like a temporary state of mind. When a man is truly serious about pursuing a long-term relationship with you, he’ll never leave you hanging. He won’t create situations where you have to question his allegiance either. Nobody likes a flake unless it’s made out of snow, so that means intimate unions are especially susceptible to lacking accountability. Can someone say, “trust issues?” If he’s ready to commit, he’ll make every effort to be there when you come calling.
6. He Lets You into His Little World
   Here’s a good sign he’s not ready to commit: He hasn’t introduced you to any of his friends or family yet. If he has, he’s most likely planning to have you around for a little. Most guys care deeply about what their homies and relatives think of their life choices and mates, so bringing you around them could be extremely risky for his pride if those people don’t see what he sees in you. Keep in mind, however, that any man can show you off to his peeps like a trophy but only those who are ready to settle down will encourage you to interact with and get to know his folks.
7. He Pays Attention to the Details of Your Life
   Isn’t it nice when a guy honestly gives a shit about what you have to say? It’s even better when he takes an interest in the things you talk about, asking for details and getting involved when he can. Those are all good signs he’s committed to you already, but simply being interested in someone isn’t enough to encourage fidelity. The key is to wait for him to start letting you in on his little secrets as well. A man who confides in you is a man who is invested in your relationship. It’s as simple as that, my friends. Just make sure you’re not headed towards a one-sided gig and everything should work out fine.
8. He Makes You a Priority
   Any man who actively puts you above other things in his life is head over heels in love with you. There, I said it. Men are selfish animals for the most part, but they do have an impulse to care for and/or cultivate something. That’s exactly why commitment-ready guys begin prioritizing their partner’s needs over their own. That man will be there for you when you need him. He won’t let you down. And he’ll continually look out for your health, happiness and safety whether you’re in each other’s company or not. Put simply, if he leaves you hanging all the time then you should probably move on because he’s not ready for what you want in a relationship.
   
9. He Talks Openly About the Future
   Men who are ready to commit to someone are not afraid to talk openly about it no matter who’s in the room. If a guy can’t say he’s devoted to you in certain company or if he still has trouble putting his emotions into words, it may be a good sign his allegiance is with something else besides you – another person, his reputation, abandonment issues, etc. It’s not your job to fix someone, so keep that in mind. If you’re giving a man every reason to feel loved and secure but he remains unable to reciprocate openly, it’s probably because he’s not interested in settle down anytime soon. However, guys who speak on and boast about your future together want to see this union play out for the long run.
10. He Brings You Up to Others in Casual Conversation
    This one is a bit of a secret, but mostly because it typically happens when you're not around. You'll start hearing good things about yourself through the grapevine when a guy is ready to make you his one and only. It's like he can't get you off of his mind so he puts you on the minds of others. Eventually, what goes around comes around and you begin catching a whiff of what's going on behind closed doors. If a man can remain interested in only you while he's out of your company then commitment is already in the bag. On the other hand, if you start hearing about nasty things being said, it’s a sign he’s trying to lie about or hide your relationship.

Remember, you are more than just a placeholder until the next person comes along. Unfortunately, a lot of partners become confused at this point because they get carried away with trying find the signs that he’s ready. When it comes to men and commitment, things aren’t that cut and dry. Here’s a little secret you might find helpful: Just because a man spends time with you and is sweet does not mean he can’t live without you. Commitment requires turning yourself into an indispensable part of a guy’s life and that ain’t always easy.

FACT: Some partners mistakenly assume that if they stick around longer, help a man with his problems and/or show off their best qualities that a man will be happy to commit. It just doesn’t work that way. If a man doesn’t take your relationship seriously after hanging out for a few months, chances are he never will. Don’t let denial ruin your shot at a happy life.

Things That Make a Man Want to Commit

So, is there anything you can do to inspire the man you love to settle down? Luckily, there is, but time is of the essence. You can’t sit around waiting on a guy to make up his mind about you though. You’re a valid individual who deserves the kind of relationship you’re looking for and there’s a guy out there waiting for someone just like you. In the meantime, mold yourself into a keeper by understanding the things that make him want to commit. If he doesn’t swoop you up, you’ll be one step closer to the dream mate for someone else. Win-win.

In the meantime, think about this: Men almost always devote themselves to a partner who “gets” them – the person in their life who truly sees their soul and grasps its beautiful complexity. Guys want to commit to someone they can trust and confide in. That’s why it’s so common for friends to eventually become lovers. The foundation is already there, so it ends up working out swimmingly. The worst thing you can do is guilt someone into pledging their allegiance to you. Not only will that end in resentment but it could also irreparably damage the relationship and make commitment a taboo subject. Instead of being a nag, step back and observe where you could fit into a man’s life. After all, he’ll be asking himself the same question about you.

Still questioning why your man won't give his all to you and you only? Here, let me break it down for you a little bit more:

• If he considers your presence in his life an improvement, he will stay.
• If he considers your presence in his life a hindrance, he will leave.

It’s really that simple, and the same can be said for most women too. Usually, people don’t want to anchor their ships to partners who drag them down. Become an uplifting part of your man’s existence and he won’t know what to do without you. Essentially, you want to be someone who inspires him to be the best possible version of himself. If you have to do a lot of changing to his personality and perspectives, you’re not asking him to commit; you’re asking him to be someone he's not. No bueno.  

Tired of the guessing games and run-around? So is everyone else besides the cats who can’t settle down. It’s tough to keep up with their wants and needs, so here's a 10-point breakdown to help you better understand what a man’s really looking for prior to making a commitment to a romantic partner:

• Someone he can trust with his innermost secrets, fantasies and weaknesses
• Someone who he enjoys being around, regardless of the activity
• Someone his friends and family can get along with
• Someone who allows him enough time to come to his own conclusion
• Someone who makes him feel like his life has significantly improved
• Someone he can relate to on matters that are important to him
• Someone capable of seeing him for who he really is without exploiting it
• Someone creating positive change in his personal and/or professional life
• Someone who can recognize his mission in life and support it with positivity
• Someone to safely and comfortably experiment with sexually

Nobody said you have to be perfect because, let’s face it, Mr. Right probably isn’t flawless his damn self. It is what it is. The point is that you need to create a lasting bond that’s rooted in a real connection, plus it wouldn’t hurt to find someone whose morals, values and goals match your own because otherwise that connection is going to be hard to make and maintain. And I’m not talking about having favorite foods and songs in common. That’s Kindergarten shit. The way to a man’s heart is not through his stomach. It’s through his brain (with a shortcut through his pants). What makes you truly worth keeping is having an uncanny ability to reach your man’s soul on a deep, substantial level. Period.

Meanwhile, it’s important to work on yourself as well. Few men will commit to a partner who is bound by tons of fears and insecurities. Those emotions create an energy that actually repels men, so don’t even go there. If you’re not ready for a devoted, monogamous relationship, what makes you think he is? If you’re still hurt from the past or another partner, what makes you think he wants to deal with that? Before dogging a man who not committing to you, please be sure you are, in fact, worthy of being committed to. Take control of your thoughts, actions, reactions and behaviors or they’ll fuck up your chances with that man and leave you lonely.

Common Reasons Men Find It Hard to Commit

Aside from simply thinking that commitment is a life-altering experience which holds a person back from enjoying their full potential, a lot of men are afraid to devote themselves to a single person because they choose to avoid the disappointment of unrequited love. In fact, one of the most common relationship issues stems from partners not being able to see eye-to-eye on important topics, which ultimately breeds uncertainty, instability and doubt. Those problems usually go both ways, but men and women handle emotions differently so the outcome is unique to the individuals involved. Either way, men sometimes find it hard to commit to a lover only because they’re fearful of the possibilities. It’s your job to make yourself look less risky and more comforting.

In my lifetime, I’ve had the pleasure of observing many couples – both committed and uncommitted. One thing I’ve noticed is that a lot of guys claim an aversion to devotion only because they’re scared shitless of someone finding out who they really are. Personal information in the wrong hands can be very bad and a lot of men know that from first-hand experience. Your best bet is to set yourself apart by being trustworthy at all times. Remember, you’re not to blame for his trust issues but you don’t have to join the ranks of the rancid either. Show him you’re different and he’ll eventually become putty in your hands.

By the way, some guys will always run at the first sign of being softened by a partner. It’s just not who they are; they’ll never be the type to settle down. Those dudes have it in their minds that being vulnerable with another person is in some way emasculating – as if they’re somehow less of a man because they shared embarrassing details about their life as an imperfect human being. Guys like that respond positively to someone encouraging and/or admiring their unique personality and lifestyle choices. It will make him feel like you “get” what he’s about, and he’ll be more likely to open up his heart over time as a result.

On the other hand, there are a few other things that roll around in the average man’s head when he’s thinking about committing to someone – good reasons and bad reasons to make the leap. The pros and cons of romantic allegiance are complex, so it may take the boy some time to figure out which direction he wants to go with the relationship. A lot of times, this waiting game can cause impatient partners to dole out ultimatums and timelines. Not a good idea. Doing so can push your partner even further away and prevent them from bringing up the subject ever again. After all, you’ve just confirmed their fears about being controlled and manipulated once they devote their lives to someone else. Ouch.

By the way, you can scare the hell out a man easier than you think. These guys aren’t iron-clad. They’re made of flesh and blood just like the rest of us. So, as mysterious as he may seem to a partner who can’t understand his inherent simplicity, the truth is that males become frightened by the depth of their emotions. You have to approach this with white gloves, my friends. For starters, here are some of the most common fears men have about committing to a partner:

• Not having enough time to pursue interests and hobbies
• Not being able to come and go as they please
• Not enjoying alone time or privacy the way they prefer
• Not having the ability to walk away when minds and hearts change
• Not knowing what the future holds, especially financially
• Not being able to trust a partner to stay faithful in the long run

All of those fears are perfectly valid and should be handled with care. Men may be strong but their hearts are just as fragile as ours. It’s not cool to play games with someone’s emotions and then blame them for having logical insecurities. That’s the quickest way to make a man not only refuse to commit to you but also hate the idea of devoting their lives to anyone else. It’s the birth of bitterness, so proceed with caution. On the other hand, some guys have rather shitty reasons for not devoting their hearts to a lover and it’s sickening to think about how many awesome partners have been duped by deception for no good cause. Here are some of the not-so-fearful reasons why some men won’t stay true:

• He has been seeing more than one person and can’t decide which one he likes best
• He’s in some sort of financial bind that he doesn’t want to talk about
• He has an upsetting criminal history that might change your opinion of him
• He’s secretly using you for some sort of gain that would be compromised with commitment
• He’s dealing with a bunch of naysayers who don’t like him being with you  
• He has an uncontrollable addiction that prevents him from making rational decisions
• He doesn’t like some aspect of your personality or lifestyle but is afraid to say it
  

Granted, there may be more reasons than that and every man/relationship is different. However, knowing what your guy fears is the first step towards giving him what he truly wants. If you can determine what turns him off, turning him on in every way will be much easier and more enjoyable for the both of you. At the end of the day, relationships and commitment go hand in hand because both are designed to fulfill unspoken needs. So, what does your man need in order to commit? You know damn well he’s not going to just come out and say it anytime soon. This is when you need to strap on those thinking caps and use your common sense. Men are simple creatures, yes, but the paths to their devoted hearts may require a map from time to time.

10 Things Men Need in Order to Commit

All men are different, with varying needs and unique personalities that dictate how they behave in relationships and react to your advances. What works on one man might not do shit to another guy and vice versa. This is by no means a one-size-fits-all method and it’s not fool-proof either. Unfortunately, some people take my advice the wrong way and overcorrect the situation – beating dead horses into the ground with ignoring the perfectly healthy ones. The key is to hit all the major points until you can tell he’s devoted or you can see that he never will be. Keep your eyes open for the signs we discussed because you’re not getting any younger.

Meanwhile, here are the top 10 things most men require before they’ll even think about committing to a partner:

1. To Be the Pursuer, Not the Pursued
   Most of the time, a guy doesn’t want to feel like he’s being hunted down. On the contrary, he likes to be the leader of the hunt, meaning he will most likely prefer it when you allow him to make the plans, arrangements and time constraints. That doesn’t mean you have to let a man control your every move to get his devotion. It simply means you need to approach all situations in question form, giving him enough room to make adjustments on his own time. I heard a wonderful piece of advice when I was young that sad, “Don’t make yourself so available.” Basically, if he has to search for you a little bit or if he gets to feel like he’s off the clock in your company, he’ll be more comfortable committing to a long-term relationship with you.
   
2. To Find Mystery in the Hunt
   While he’s out there hunting for his next meal, make sure you give him something worth searching for. Men love a little mystery, so try not to be a completely open book all at once. Keeping too many secrets will push your guy away out of fear of being lied to or betrayed but refraining from telling everything all the time will leave a something to the imagination. When a man’s imagination is piqued, he will pursue that partner with vigor to discover the answers to his curiosities. Partners pursued with vigor have a better chance of getting a commitment from the other person because time spent together usually equals better bonds. Men always want what they can’t have, after all.
3. To Experience Reverse Psychology
   Put simply, sometimes guys need to be given a healthy helping of their own medicine to see the err of their ways. I’m not talking about punishing them, lying to them or manipulating them in any way. I’m just saying that guys should learn how to treat others the way they want to be treated. Having a zero-tolerance policy for bullshit will tell your man that you mean business, that he can’t mistreat you, and that you’re willing to move on with your life if he doesn’t play ball. Most of the time, the thought of a partner being with someone else will make someone straight up. But even if it doesn’t, you still set precedence for all partners that come after him.
4. To Live Separate Lives from Their Partner
   Being in love and committed to someone does not mean you have to spend every waking moment of your life with them. As much as you enjoy one another’s company, too much of a good thing can be bad. The Love Toilet is not a practical item and you shouldn’t ever need it if you’re doing this right. By having a few aspects of your life that you don’t necessarily share with your partner, you leave much to be discussed and discovered. This, in turn, keeps the fire alive and burning strong. Just be sure you’re not keeping important information from your man because I guarantee he won’t appreciate that.
   
5. To Be Respected, Not Worshipped
   For the most part, guys just want to be accepted and respected for who they are. Remember, it’s their fear of rejection that keeps many of them from fully committing to a partner. Give your honey something better to do than worry by showing mad respect to him at all times, especially when you’re around friends, family and coworkers. Become extra special to him by upping the ante when his enemies are around. You don’t have to worship the ground he walks on or anything. In fact, that will likely produce counterproductive results as he begins to assume that you’re a complete pushover. However, it wouldn’t hurt your case one bit to become someone he knows he can count on when it’s time to stand up for his honor.  
6. To Feel Encouraged and Believed In
   Your man already has about a thousand doubts rolling around in his head at any given moment. He doesn’t need some outside source making him feel even more insecure. Your job is to build him up and encourage him to follow his dreams. Help him in whatever capacity is possible. Give him the tools to achieve his goals and let him know along the way that you think what he’s doing is fascinating and important (even if you’re only halfway serious about it). Sometimes, seeing someone’s vision is difficult but we shouldn’t knock it just because we don’t understand. Men are typically looking for someone who gets that, and the one who does is the almost always the one they settle for.
7. To Enjoy Frequent Satisfying Orgasms
   Believe it or not, the quality of your sex weighs heavily on a man’s mind when he’s considering whether or not to commit to you. There are some cases wherein a man will go all in on a partner just because they’re amazing in bed. Give a guy the best of both worlds and he’s yours for the taking. Men enjoy good sex frequently, plus it’s good for their health. On top of that, scientists are now saying that sex can help create, maintain and strengthen emotional bonds between lovers. So, if you’re trying to inspire your man to devote his life to you, rock his motherfucking world like there’s no tomorrow (while doing all the other stuff mentioned here too).
   
8. To Be Attracted to Their Lover
   It doesn’t matter if you know all the tricks in the book, the chances of a man committing himself to you when he’s not even physical attracted to you are slim to none. Put simply, you better make yourself sexy to that boy or he’ll look right past you as soon as the next pretty face comes along. Until he has decided to devote his time to only you, his eyes will remain open to all the other fish in the sea. Keep him blinded by love with an appearance that’s pleasant to look at. Also, practice good personal hygiene because no guy likes a partner who smells like garbage truck juice. If all else fails, ask him what he would like you to do differently (if anything). Keep in mind, however, that any man who asks you to change too much is an asshole.
9. To Spend Time with Someone Who Has Substance
   When was the last time you met a man who voluntarily hung out with someone who had nothing intelligent to say? Ok, so a lot of guys like to fuck the community ditz but those bitches never get the ring because they’re vapid and stupid. You’ve got an advantage here because you’re smart, exciting and interesting. Remind him of just how awesome you are by refusing to hide your shine. Men secretly love a partner who’s not afraid to stand up for what they believe in. They prefer people with curious lifestyles and unique personalities. Refuse to be like everyone else and he’ll see your beauty from the inside out.
10. To Exist in a Relaxed, Pressure-Free Relationship
    Remember how I said you shouldn’t add any unnecessary pressure to your man’s life just because he won’t commit? Well, the same can be said about pressure in general. It’s never a good idea to become a pain in your guy’s ass. Dude with partners who nag all the time or mention the same things over and over again will start to crave the company of other people and places, creating an instant chasm between you both. This is obviously the opposite of what you want, so don’t even go there. Be your man’s peace or be absent from his existence. It’s a simple as that. According to relationship experts, a majority of perfectly healthy marriages end because of nonsense bullshit like this.
    

When the smoke clears and you’re both standing there looking at each other like “Who the hell is this person to me?” I hope that you can find the answers you’re looking for. Guys are searching for someone they can enjoy a lasting bond with, don’t let them fool you. They might possibly be more sensitive than the weaker sex, but it’s still important to let your boy toy be himself at all times. Provide a trustworthy friend in which he can confide and do your best to avoid jealousy and drama at all costs. Make your man feel wanted, needed and appreciated for who he is and the cards will be stacked in your favor. Help him make permanent, positive improvements to his personal and/or professional life along the way but remember that good men don’t need someone to do the work for them. In reality, the real ones are only looking for a cute, smart cheerleader to whisper sweet substance into his ear.

Commitment In Conclusion

For some, committing to a partner may seem scary. A lot of men refuse to do it because they’re either unsatisfied with the partner they have, they’re curious about what else is out there, or they’re not mature enough to handle something as “serious” as being accountable to someone else. Devotion to a romantic relationship requires a certain type of personality, which means not all men are capable of taking the plunge. By learning to see the red flags before it’s too late, you may be able to make that man commit himself to you or at least know when you move on without him. In the meantime, don’t add pressure to the pot by constantly asking about his intentions and whereabouts. His actions will always speak louder than his words anyway, plus you can still have fun without him putting a ring on it (but yo, a ring would be nice).

For more motivation, remember these 5 things that legit devotion brings to the table (and maybe remind him of them in case he forgot):

• You’ll both experience more satisfying sex and more substantial intimacy.
• You’ll begin enjoying each other’s company more.
• You’ll start feeling new sensations of security, safety and happiness.
• You’ll have better direction in terms of where your life is headed.
• You’ll always have someone to look out for you when times get tough.

Healthy commitments aren’t the same as codependency, by the way. If you do this right, you both should feel closer to one another and more fulfilled by life in general. Good luck out there and remember, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. If you do your best to make him devote himself to you and he still won’t, it’s perfectly fine to pick up your shit and move along.