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Perhaps the best part about sex is that there are no rules. What works for one person might not work for another, so a lot of customization is encouraged. You can be whoever you want to be in the bedroom, with few critics to tell you what’s wrong or right. And while our newfound freedom is the result of a much-needed sexual revolution, the changes to our society did very little to help those who are struggling to create and/or maintain a sex drive that’s balanced with their partner’s. Face it, some of us are insatiable animals and some of us are like sexual camels. But regardless of our differences, we’ve got to find some common ground or our species will turn into a bunch of heartbroken hermits.
The first step in anything is always to gain a decent education on the subject in question. So, since we’re talking about sex drives (or lack thereof), it’s important to clearly define what it is, what it isn’t, and why it’s crucial to your health and happiness. A person’s libido affects a lot more than just their bond with a partner. Those who avoid, prevent, neglect or refrain from enjoying nourishing sexual gratification are a typically miserable bastards, plus they lack the erotica experiences and intimacy insights required to fix the problem should they ever choose to. The only way out of this mess is to fight back against what your brain and body are doing. The only way to accomplish that is to first understand how the human libido works.
What Is a Sex Drive?
The drive to your sex life is a long and winding one, with properties just as unique as you are, my little snowflake. However, a sex drive is more like a function of the human body and less like a journey through possible erotica with a partner. In fact, healthy libidos don’t have to involve a partner at all. Hell, even people with someone to love can enjoy rather vanilla affairs yet claim to have a nice balance in the bedroom, so what gives? It’s like the whole world is asking, “If you’re not into getting pegged by a clown, do you even like sex at all?” Good question, indeed.
A healthy drive has nothing to do with the type of sex you have or the kinds of partners you attract (or don’t). The concept focuses primarily on a person’s urge to engage in sexual activities and/or entertain perverted thoughts with or without a pre-selected lover. Known by countless colloquial names including desire, arousal, attraction and sexual motivation, a person’s sex drive is basically what compels them to act upon carnal impulses and enjoy activities that stimulate their body’s erogenous zones and their mind’s imagination. This overall yearning is and always has been one of the major underlying motivators influencing biological, psychological and social behaviors.
Biologically speaking, the human body is designed to naturally produce a variety of different hormones that support an active and healthy libido. Scientists have discovered numerous neurotransmitters that also act upon the testosterone and dopamine receptors (or nucleus accumbens) in the brain. Together, those two complementary systems generate an innate need to reproduce and experience orgasm. Unfortunately, however, not everyone enjoys the same level of sexual compulsion because no two people are exactly alike. When that imbalance gets superimposed over a modern-day relationship, it can wreak havoc on an otherwise perfect union – causing a social ripple that makes this balancing act extremely important to the survival of our species.
Meanwhile, a person can be classified as either hypersexual (meaning they have an abnormally high sex drive) or hyposexual (meaning they have an abnormally low one). Folks can fall somewhere in the middle as well, but the point is that you’re not alone in this struggle to create a more symbiotic sex life. In fact, you may have a healthy desire for sex but seldom get the opportunity to have any and that still doesn’t mean your sex drive is low. On the other hand, you can have lots of sex without really being into it but that doesn’t indicate a low drive either. It’s all about the way you feel, the way your body functions and how all that works together to generate a reaction. At the same time, there are numerous factors that can affect the way your libido lingers (or not).
How Does the Libido Work?
According to Sigmund Freud, the father of modern psychology, a person’s libido develops in three stages starting at a very young age. His studies suggest that an individual’s sex drive can become jammed, so to speak, thus producing a series of pathological character traits that can sometimes last for decades. In other words, an unsatisfying sex life can lead to involuntary changes in a person’s personality, perceptions and relationships. And while his research rings true in many ways, further discoveries have revealed a much more scientific reason for libido deficits and surpluses. As it turns out, libido is governed primarily through the mesolimbic dopamine pathways in the brain. Thus, modulation of certain neurotransmissions can result in a better regulated sex drive.
So, how does the average Joe Shmoe “modulate the neurotransmissions of the mesolimbic dopamine pathways” in his brain? That shit is hard enough to pronounce as it is. It sounds like some super high-tech bullshit before you break it down, but it’s basically just a fancy, medical way of saying you need to develop a lifestyle and mindset that support healthy reproductive function. What are some of the ways you can get that done? Well, according to the experts, a person’s libido can be either positively or negatively affected by countless factors, which means your best bet is to “know thyself” like Socrates said.
On a more general note, the human libido works by simultaneously activating independently functioning yet complementary systems inside the body. When you feel sexually aroused for any reason, your hormones are said to be raging and that’s a pretty good description. Naturally occurring chemicals such as dopamine, phenethylamine and other trace amines are sent racing through the bloodstream to be collected by your nervous system. At the same time, special neuropeptides are released to fortify those chemicals and manage the reactions thereto. It’s all very scientific, but simple things like estrogen levels, testosterone production and serotonin stores play a big role in how sexuality ultimately manifests.
NOTE: Most of these hormones exist at differing levels in the body throughout a person’s lifetime already. However, they can increase and/or decrease without much notice and for a wide variety of reasons. Knowing the risk factors that affect your sex drive can help you achieve a better balance in the bedroom and maintain a healthier love life with your partner.
The Dirty Dozen: 12 Factors That Can Make or Break a Person’s Sex Drive
Before you give up or start making plans to leave your lover, think about this: There are at least a dozen different factors that can contribute to this inconvenient libido imbalance you’re currently experiencing in your relationship. Remember, just because a couple is happy doesn’t mean their sex life is healthy, and just because a couple is healthy doesn’t mean their sex life is happy. However, I don’t suggest scrapping any good ideas or burning any bridges until you consider all the facts. Chances are your libido isn’t the exact same as your lover’s simply because you’re two unique people. Let me show you how to use that to your advantage.
You see, even the experts are still studying the effects of certain factors on a person’s sex drive; we don’t have this shit all figured out by any means. But what I can tell you is that your intimacy imbalance may not be due to a lack of commitment and love from your partner, contrary to what your crotches are telling you. Too many times, differences in sex drive cause partners to second guess their lover’s intentions and it’s a damn shame, especially since the discrepancy is likely due to one of these 12 underlying factors:
Countless studies have shown that a person’s libido takes a tremendous hit as they get older. Age-related sex drive decreases are typically due to a combination of factors that hinder the proper function of your endocrine and reproductive systems. So, if you’re starting to see a decline in arousal and don’t know why, it could be because you’re not aging as gracefully as you’d like. I suggest hooking up with a young doctor who can advise you on different libido boosting methods as time goes by. Fortunately, none of this means sex is completely out of the question, nor does it mean your genitals stop working altogether. A lot of people still enjoy sexual activity far into their senior years.
The gender of a person can affect the way they view sex and arousal. According to the most recent surveys, men seem to crave sexual encounters a tad bit more than women, although ladies are definitely giving guys a run for their money. Either way, you may be experiencing too much or too little sex drive for your relationship simply because of who you are and how you were made. In this case, there isn’t much you can about it besides learn ways to compromise with your lover for more satisfying interactions. Gender generalities may be triggers for some people, but they’re universal truths for everyone else.
- OVERALL HEALTH
Your physical condition plays an enormous role in how much you want sex (and how much you enjoy it when you get it). Physicians have proven time and time again that there’s a direct correlation between a person’s overall health and the quality of their sex life. Those battling debilitating medical conditions such as heart disease, high blood pressure, obesity, diabetes, neurological impairments and even certain sexually transmitted infections (or STIs) might find it hard to maintain a satisfactory level of desire. Again, this is not medical advice so I’d talk to a doctor if you’re concerned about the effects of physical health on your orgasm frequency.
- EMOTIONAL TURBULENCE
Folks who feel like shit inside are not usually the most sexually charged people on the planet and there’s a good, scientifically-sound reason for it. Depression and anxiety can significantly reduce a person’s sex drive, causing them to neither want it nor enjoy it when/if it happens. Brain chemistry is compromised during bouts of emotional turbulence, so people don’t always act the same until they’re better. If you and/or your partner’s libido has been compromised recently, consider whether there’s any emotional baggage attached. Most of the time, cock blocks can be torn down with a little gentle conversation and apologetic persuasion. Keep in mind that some people carry burdens they’re not necessarily open to talking about with an intimate partner. Don’t pry.
- DIET AND NUTRITION
Concerns about the effects of diet on libido go back to overall health. Improper nutrition can cause unnecessary body blockages, malfunctions, injuries, illnesses, and general embarrassment. Seriously, have you ever smelled someone who likes to eat a lot of onions? There seems to be an odor that seeps through their skin and onto their clothes. The funk comes from the inside out and it’s sometimes unbearable. If you are what you eat, then try consuming more aphrodisiacs than junk. Not only will you enjoy a nice, natural boost to your sex drive but you’ll also produce a much more pleasant aroma when things get hot and heavy. By the way, a good diet supports body functionality and helps balance hormone levels too.
As most people already know from all the cheesy commercials, certain medications can have a big impact on the quality of your love life. I urge everyone reading this to go look at the labels on their medicines. Research the side effects as well, and make sure none of them mention libido or sex drive in any way. If they do, then you’re in for a treat because your lacking desires have little to do with your physical or emotional wellbeing. A doctor may be able to prescribe something different or take you off the pill completely but you never know until you ask. Just keep in mind that your overall health should come before your ability to please a partner sexually.
- SLEEP PATTERNS
Did you know that the way you sleep affects your sexual experience? Isn’t that some sneaky bullshit? Turns out, if you don’t get enough R&R you can become more than just a little cranky. Inadequate amounts of rest almost always result in temporarily neglect of non-essential systems, with the first one to go being your reproductive system. Meanwhile, tired people become cranky because their hormones are all out of whack, and hormonal people don’t react to sexual advances in a predictable or pleasing manner. What I’m trying to say is this: You won’t have the sex drive of a porn star when you’re more worn out than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest, so that post-sex nap doesn’t seem so crude after all, does it?
- HORMONE LEVELS
Speaking of hormone level imbalances and how it affects your sex drive, research shows a strong link between menopause, pre-menopause, perimenopause and a virtually non-existent libido. Hormonal disparities can also account for sex life killers such as vaginal dryness, mood swings, fatigue, headache, nausea, erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. In other words, your lack of desire for sexual excitement might be a sign of something more serious going on, so don’t ignore it or try to remedy the situation with performance enhancement products (or MEPs) until you know what’s going on with your body. You might not know this, but some MEPs work by manipulating the endocrine system in various ways. Buyer beware.
Contrary to popular belief, a woman’s menstrual cycle does not make her an untamed sex-hating animal. In fact, a lot of ladies report having an increased sex drive while their Aunt Flow is in town, which means menses has a direct effect on a woman’s arousal (or lack thereof). Obviously, some girls report a sense of repulsion regarding just the thought of sexual activity during their period, but there’s always an exception to the rule. Moral of the story: You/Your partner’s menstrual cycle might be what’s triggering those major changes in behavior, so take it easy and try to ride the crimson wave as best you can. Or just lay down a towel - whatever works.
- SEXUAL DISORDERS
There’s this thing called “orgasmic disorder” and millions of men and women struggle with it every single day. It’s not a pretty sight. Imagine getting fucked by a pro only to discover you can’t get off no matter how hard you try. That would make anyone hate sex; it’s a mood killer, no doubt. To make matters worse, a lot of people don’t talk about it for fear of being rejected or, worse, challenged by someone with a bruised ego. Orgasmic disorder is a serious condition that shouldn’t be taken lightly but it doesn’t have to ruin your life if you know how to get in front of it. There are treatments and there is hope, so hang in there.
- INJURY OR TRAUMA
I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but someone who has been through trauma or an accident probably isn’t in the mood for sex as much as usual. It goes without saying that injuries reduce a person’s libido significantly but long-term wounds can leave unseen scars on an intimate relationship because they can permanently decrease a patient’s desire for orgasm. This is especially true with brain injuries and strokes which leave the victim dazed and confused about a lot of things. However, even small amounts of trauma – whether it be physical, mental or emotional – can make an individual less aroused by erotic advances. In rare cases, some people go in a completely opposite direction to become promiscuous.
- LATENT SEXUALITY CONCERNS
This is a tough one because it might not be discovered until long after the damage is done. Men and women who question their sexuality often swing between being extremely sexual to being incredibly closed off, plus they frequently become confused by their impulses and desires which fuels them to go even deeper into the closet. If all other boxes have been checked yet you/your partner’s sex drive still isn’t completely intact, you could either be incompatible with your lover in some way or, in this case, one of you is a flaming queer without being able to admit it. Seek counseling or talk to your partner about different ways you can experiment with your sexuality to discover who you truly are.
When you know about the most common libido killers then you have a much better chance of actually doing something about this annoying imbalance in your relationship. Truth be told, nearly every couple faces this problem at least once while they’re together. Whether someone wants it too much or not enough isn’t the issue though. The real qualm is finding a way to meet in the middle so that everyone gets what they want out of the relationship. No healthy couple ever tries to force their boo into doing something or wants to hurt their bae’s feelings with rejection. So, it’s time to figure out the underlying causes so you can move on to bigger, thicker, meatier things - like understanding why all this shit matters in the first place.
The Great Balancing Act: Why Complementary Libidos Are So Important
You may not be in love with your partner but you sure as hell love fucking them, right? If you don’t, then you either have an issue with your sex drive or need to be single for a while to figure some things out. Regardless of your situation, though, understanding why balanced libidos are so important is the first step towards experiencing the kind of orgasms you’ve always wanted. I know it sounds cliché, too good to be true and oversimplified at the same time but allow me to break it down a little more so you’ll see what I mean. Maybe then you’ll take this great balancing act more seriously.
You see, sex drive imbalances are almost always associated with someone not being attracted to the other partner but that’s seldom ever the case. The fact of the matter is that some of the causes for a lacking libido are out of our control, so try not to engage in the blame game with your bae just yet. In the meantime, realize that healthy amounts of sex are good for everyone. Satisfying orgasms improve your health in numerous ways, they boost your mood and enhance your appearance to potential partners. If you’re against having tons of sex because you think it’s wrong, think again. Here are five good reasons why your libido deserves this attention:
- It generates a more substantial connection between partners, especially if it’s maintained for a long time or through adversity.
- It makes both partners experience a greater sense of satisfaction both in and out of the bedroom.
- It results in fewer fights due to unfounded accusations and unwarranted questions about attraction and loyalty.
- It improves both partner’s self-esteem as it pertains to the relationship but also boosts a person’s confidence as a person in general.
- It increases feelings of pride when a partner is completely satisfied in the bedroom.
Remember, to keep your relationship running smoothly you’ve got to get along with your partner in as many ways as possible. A discrepancy in the bedroom could cause major issues but the opposite is true for couples who work towards creating and maintaining a better balance. It’s not enough to simply want an erotic equilibrium in your relationship. You also need the information, skills and equipment to get you there. Fortunately, I know exactly what it takes and I’m sharing the treasure map because I can’t handle all these riches on my own.
Tips for Creating a Balanced Sex Drive in Your Relationship
I’d like to start our journey by reminding everyone of this three simple truths: 1) your libido is not a toy, 2) everyone’s needs are equally valid, and 3) sex is supposed to be fun. With that out of the way, I can continue by saying that misaligned sex drives are a lot more common than you think. Discrepancies in libido are a major part of the natural ebb and flow of a long-term relationship, so don’t go throwing your love in the trash because of disagreements about sexual frequency. There’s a balance to be had and it starts with you and your partner following the easy tips I'm about to share.
First things first, try to understand that sex drive problems can flip from one partner to another and back again without an obvious cause to explain it. That’s simply an effect of human nature and is nothing to be alarmed about. With these fundamental keys in their proper slots, your personalities should start to complement one another instead of constantly clash. Here are some techniques to help get ‘er done:
- Start the Conversation
Things are always a little awkward in the beginning, but if imbalanced sex drives are an issue in your relationship then you need to bring it up sooner rather than later. Festering problems can creep up on an otherwise loving couple to destroy it from the inside out. Keep in mind, however, that both partners have to be mature enough to hear constructive criticism about their performance in the bedroom. This is a time to feel the temperature of the water, not boil over uncontrollably. Take the conversation slow and don’t force your lover to explain things they’re not ready to discuss.
TIP: Request that your partner participate in a little question/answer session wherein you both respond to inquiries as honestly as possible.
- Conduct an Intimate Interview
Hopefully your partner will say yes to your request for some Q & A because I’ve got some real zingers here. The following questions aren’t hard to answer, they’re just designed to help you both figure out where ya’ll stand in terms of satisfying your lover with a sex drive that’s balanced with theirs. No points will be given or taken away as long as you respond openly and honestly. Here’s you need to ask:
> Do you think I want sex too much or not enough?
> What simple things can I do on a regular basis, besides have sex, to make you feel more sexually desirable?
> In a perfect world, how often would you prefer to have sex or reach orgasm?
> What are some of your favorite/most satisfying sex acts that we do together?
> Do you have any mental, emotional or physical barriers that might be reducing your sex drive in any way?
The answers to these questions, if truthful, will reveal the most blatant underlying issues standing in the way of truly symbiotic sexuality in your relationship. If possible, write down your partner’s responses so you can go back and look at them when you’re curious about their decisions or behaviors.
- Take Matters into Your Own Hands
Sometimes, we just can’t reach an agreement about how often an orgasm should occur and that’s perfectly fine when you use the right coping mechanisms – one of which is my personal favorite: masturbation. Taking matters into your own hands seems dangerous and unpredictable but it’s actually perfectly natural, recommended by most doctors, and good for your health. Not getting it enough on the home front? Make love to Pamela Handerson on the side as long as your partner’s okay with it. After all, you don’t want to insult anybody and wasting too much good sexual energy on fervent jerk off sessions is a bad idea. Remember: balance.
TIP: Don’t act like a horny hermit. Ask your partner if they would like to be invited over to watch and/or participate in your manual masturbation scenes.
- Incorporate Sex Toys for Maximum Satisfaction
Since we’re on the topic of potentially assisted masturbation and outright, unapologetic voyeurism, investing in sex toys might not be a bad idea for couples struggling with sex drive disparities. Certain devices are specifically designed for lusty lovers with differing concepts of pleasure, many times featuring skin-like materials, artificial intelligence, or teledildonic technologies that allow for realistic interactions regardless of the scene or distance. Toys like that have the uncanny ability to fill gaps and/or motivate someone who’s not necessarily in the mood. On top of that, modern devices are generally easy to use and most of them can be enjoyed in a wide variety of ways.
TIP: Read a comprehensive buyer’s guide about any sex toy you’re thinking about buying because they’re not all the same and you can get ripped off easily.
- Be More Substantial
There’s a chance that you might not be able to keep up with the demands of your partner’s libido without a little outside help. Some couples reach for performance enhancers, sex toys and counseling and those things do tend to work out great. But before you take things that far, keep in mind that your partner’s need for more sex might stem from their lack of true intimacy in the relationship. So, be more substantial with your time together because that will make up for deficits on the back end. What do I mean by “be more substantial”? I mean have something interesting to say, learn how to listen, find ways to show thoughtfulness, and don’t be a lying son of a bitch. See? It’s not that hard to be a person with substance.
TIP: Plan a regulation date night with your boo and put sex on the to do list, as this will create expectation, anticipation and satisfaction during libido imbalances.
- Put Away Bad Habits
By now you should know that your lifestyle choices play a part in how you feel about sex and react to stimulation. Why, then, do you continue to smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol, eat tons of junk food, and watch hours of raunchy pornography? We all want to live our best lives, but you can’t always have your cake and eat pussy too. Get right with your partner by balancing your libido through acts of self-care. No more puffing, no more shots, plenty high-protein meals and less porn-inspired movie nights – a least for a while. Studies show that excessive amounts of XXX content can slow or stop dopamine receptors in the brain, making a person’s natural sex drive null and void over time. Aaaand scene.
TIP: Use sex toys that feature live web cam performances of your partner or motion sensing technologies to help keep your feet on ground in spite of your insatiable appetite for filth.
- Get a Clean Bill of Health
Your doctor doesn’t want to sleep with you, so you’ll get nothing but the truth when you ask them about libido problems at your next appointment. Make sure you get high marks on your physical or else you’ve got a lot of work ahead of you. Remember, imbalanced sex drives are sometimes due to underlying health problems that could be easily remedied with a professional’s care. Seeing a physician about your fitness allows you to pinpoint your problems before they get out of hand, plus the information shared can help put a worried partner’s mind at ease. It’s one thing for your lover to assume you don’t want them. It’s another to know why you can’t perform to their standards and then keep it a secret. Don’t be a prick.
TIP: Talk to your doctor about ways to naturally increase/decrease your libido without disrupting your everyday life or current medical treatments.
- Start Appreciating Quickies
One thing I’ve noticed is that a lot of people report experiencing feelings of arousal for their partner but only for fleeting moments in time wherein they can’t necessarily react. This is quite common among long-term couples who have children living at home, demanding jobs or nosy roommates. Not being able to fully express yourself in a healthy sexual way leads to frustration and resentment, which in turn results in slacking sex drives and sometimes even breakups. Instead of enduring all that nonsense, get used to having little quickies around the house. This habit not only satisfies hypersexual lovers but it also solidifies the bond, makes sex fun again, and brings the hyposexual partner up to speed more effectively.
TIP: Create or establish a few places around the house that can be used for safe, uninterrupted sexual encounters with your partner at a moment’s notice.
At the end of the day, after all is said and done, when your honey leaves and your left all alone with your genitals, what matters most is that you’re satisfied with the way things are going in your love life. No two people are ever compatible 100% of the time, but if you feel pressured to be somebody you’re not then this is probably not the relationship for you. On the bright side, however, finding a sweet balance is easier to do than most people think. The problem is that, when some couples get there, they have no idea how to maintain the momentum. Let’s make sure that doesn’t happen to you.
Ways to Maintain and Enhance a Rejuvenated Sex Life
You’ve finally got your relationship on an even keel in the bedroom, so now what do you do? Your partner is acting like a cat in heat and your crotch feels like it has rug burn on it. Consider yourself lucky, my friend. You’re one of the fortunate kids who can attest to having a happy, healthy, well-balanced sex life. That is, of course, unless you prefer not to witness your lover behave like a whore whenever your pants hit the floor. In which case, please get help immediately.
Unfortunately for us, sex is seldom talked about openly, honestly and without a bunch of uneducated, indoctrinated scoffers in the audience. The original meaning for the word “Sex” was actually “sacred energy exchange,” which begs the question why we’re all such prudes about it these days. It’s impossible to separate the spiritual aspect of sexuality with the physicality of it. This is a whole-body experience that’s designed to bring two people together in a unique way. Use nature to your advantage, folks, because either way you look at it, someone needs to discuss the pitfalls head-on or else we’re all doomed for divorce court.
Bringing freedom, entertainment and creativity to the table is awesome, don’t get me wrong. But maintaining that energy is even better. The bad news is that installing good habits in your relationship takes some practice. Rome was not built in a day. Therefore, the more you’re able to learn about sustaining sexual energies and impulses, the more you’ll be able to enjoy a compatible sex life with your partner without getting bored. It’s a win-win situation, but neglect and complacency will get you nowhere. Here’s how to stop the train from careening off those tracks you just set it on:
- Create a "Love Me Like This" List
News flash: Your partner still might not have any idea what they did to turn you on so much. They might also be confused about why their other efforts go unnoticed. Every now and then, stop to reassess your approach to sex in your relationship. Is everyone getting what they need? How can you love your partner even better? In what ways could the balance be even more finely tuned? Both of you jot down a list of the things that make your genitals tingle and then share it with confidence because it’s about to go down. And yo, keep that shit in case you need it later.
- Plan Some Sexy Spoiling Sessions
A date night is great but what about the times in between? You need to be spoiling the hell out of your boo as often as possible. That’s one of the best ways to keep the fire in their pants alive, plus it gives you massive brownie points when it’s time to pass out oral. Few things get a pent-up partner in the mood like a sensual massage or some good old-fashioned pampering. Not sure how to get your babe ready for a trip to the Love Shack? Remember that “Love Me Like This” List you worked on in step one? Yeah, I told you to hold onto that bitch for a reason.
- Try Roleplaying Games for a Change
Playing with the interpersonal roles in your relationship can be a lot of fun, especially when everyone is on board with an open mind and a properly functioning libido. BDSM, which stands for “bondage, dominance, sadism and masochism” involves safe and satisfying acts of pleasure that are designed for an extremely wide variety of participants. Even something as simple as getting tied to the bed counts as BDSM, so be afraid to dabble. Who says the dynamics of your relationship have to remain static? After all, nobody’s in the room but you two anyway, so who gives a fuck what people think?
Putting It All Together
I could sit here and give tips until I was blue in the face but that still wouldn’t help everybody find or maintain a balanced libido with their partner. You see, some people just don’t understand how their choices and behaviors affects other people’s choices and behaviors, so a vicious cycle is created and nobody wins in the end. Intelligent insights are one thing, but responsible action is something completely different. Now’s the time to figure out on which side of the fence you’ll stand. As for me, I’ll be keeping up with my boo the best I can because I understand the fact that these tricks are useless if I don’t actually incorporate them into my love life.