How to Rekindle Your Love Life

By Blake Parker
How to Rekindle Your Love Life
If you buy something through this post, Autoblow.com may be paid a commission. All opinions expressed are those of our resident sexpert.

A person’s inability to live out the sex life of their dreams may be more common than you think. While the average couple says that they get it on at least once per week, it seems like most folks want more frequent orgasms despite those relatively decent numbers. Men and women of all sexual persuasions are doing the horizontal bop about 60-70 times per year and, according to recent studies, that’s not nearly enough. Interestingly, married people are having slightly more sex than single people, regardless of what your favorite comedian says. Even 57% of couples in trouble still have the fire in their pants, so what’s the problem and how can we work together to fix it? Good question.

As it turns out, frequency has very little to do with satisfaction in a normal, mature, sexually active relationship between two consenting adults. Couples naturally mind the golden rule of quality versus quantity and it’s the same today as it was yesterday. Knocking out the bottom every day of the week may look impressive on the outside but it does little good on the inside (sometimes literally). Truth be told, 40% of surveyed spouses who enjoyed intercourse more than three or four times per week said that their biggest turn on was – get this – help with the household chores. News flash, kids, those sex tips from the last few decades were way out of touch.

Long before the sexual revolution or the premier of corny movies like “Fifty Shades of Grey,” couples were experimenting with different erotic techniques to enhance their sensual experiences. A lack of good information mixed with an unnecessary social stigma created an entire generation of sexually frustrated people though. Until the 1960's, women had to get their dildos and vibrators from the family doctor because of hysteria or insomnia, as the female orgasm was still considered a myth. Talk about an awkward conversation at your kid’s next checkup. There were few other options for a very long time, with nearly 70% of the population thinking of adultery was 100% wrong back then. At least we do something good every now and then, right?

Wrong. As luck would have it, the belief that stepping outside your relationship to get your sexual needs met is a becoming increasing popular. But hookup culture has you fooled, my friend. If your love life is lacking, it’s almost always your own fault. In fact, 75% of surveyed women said that they were twice as likely to reach climax if they felt like they were in a committed relationship with their partner. It’s therefore your job to rekindle the kink by taking a proactive approach. You can do it, put your back into it. After all, the saying goes, “A new broom will sweep the floor, but an old broom knows where the dirt is.” So, let’s get dirty.

Defining What a Good Sex Life Is to You

Before we begin, it’s important that we discuss the fact that a healthy sex life is based on the opinions of two people. However, sex is also one of the most subjective art forms on the face of the Earth, which means you and/or your partner can make it pretty much anything you desire. The crucial part is being sure to take enough time to determine what a satisfying sex life is (and isn’t) in your unique relationship. TRIGGER WARNING: You might have to actually talk to your partner in an open and honest way to figure this shit out. Prepare yourselves, boys and girls. Meanwhile, here are the three things you’ll want to define:

  1. Desired Frequency
    Think about how often you wish to reach orgasm by answering these simple questions - Does pleasure always have to be with your partner or can you hack it alone during manual masturbation? Is anyone into tantric sex at all or is a full climax mandatory every single time? How often do you see your lover and are they able to perform at each rendezvous?
  2. Depth of Depravity
    Think about how filthy you want the experience to be by answering these simple questions – Do I feel fully satisfied when I get done having sex with my partner or after masturbation? Are there any specific things I’ve been wanting to try? Has my lover mentioned any curiosities and I am willing to fulfill those fantasies for them? What in particular has been standing in the way for my partner and I to enjoy good sex?
  3. Realistic Ability
    Think about your physical well-being and likelihood to succeed at any changes to your love life by answering these simple questions – Do I experience pain or discomfort while engaging in foreplay and/or intercourse? Are certain positions or activities difficult for me to handle? How likely am I to get hurt by pushing the envelope in certain areas without proper preparation? Can spontaneity be a realistic part of my current relationship?

NOTE: Long-distance relationships (LDRs) may make it more difficult for a couple to define the parameters of their sex life.

Being intertwined with someone on a sexual level is some extremely heavy shit, so don’t take improving upon it lightly. The original meaning of the word sex was an acronym for the phrase “sacred energy exchange.” That means you and your partner most likely have a natural attraction to one another and it simply requires some effective exploitation. How else did you two lovebirds ever bump uglies in the first place? Get back on track by answering the following questions before we move on:

  • When did you start noticing a shift in the level of passion, the style or the frequency of your sex life?
  • How often do you become preoccupied by things other than sex?
  • Is it possible that my partner gave up on trying to please me for some reason?
  • Was our sex life satisfying to begin with?
  • Are there any new barriers that have made it difficult to maintain a healthy sex life?
  • Could I be at a stage in my life where I’m experiencing hormonal changes that can affect my libido?
  • Am I perhaps suffering from a common case of the lulls because the excitement of a new relationship has worn off?
  • Have I seen my doctor for a thorough physical examination in the past year?

The answers to those questions must be discovered before anyone can feasibly formulate a plan to enhance their love life. Good detective work can help uncover the underlying reasons why your sexual appetites are waning. Once you identify the issues, you can start implementing tiny adjustments to your approach and finally enjoy the orgasms you’ve been dreaming about. However, if you’ve never experienced pleasure from foreplay, intercourse or masturbation, see a doctor as soon as possible because that could be a sign of something more serious.

8 Things to Bring to the Table

Let’s assume for a minute that you’ve got it all figured out and only need to convince your partner to have sex with you more often or to actually enjoy themselves when they do. The problem could be that you’re standing in your own way. It happens to the best of us and, fortunately, there’s a safe and satisfying way around it. On the dark side, it requires a little humility and some personal growth. You know what they say: “Nobody wants to fuck a selfish prick with a self-esteem problem.” Okay, so maybe I’m the only one who says that, but you’ve got to admit it’s completely true. Here are the 8 things you should always bring to the bedroom so you don’t get booed off stage:

  1. Respect for Your Partner
    Everyone knows about your needs. We can see them through your pants, Mr. Moose Knuckle. The problem is that your partner deserves respect and attention as well. According to the results of a study published in USA Today, nearly 30% of all men and up to 50% of all women claim to have no sex drive whatsoever. Psychotherapists speculate that there are numerous different reasons for this, including everything from prescription medications and hormonal changes to resentment and relationship neglect. If you think your lover is going through something that you can help with, take time to build the foundation of trust for better sex in the future by establishing a tight intimate bond during life’s ups and downs.
    JUST THE TIP: Spend some time listening to your partner talk about their thoughts, opinions and feelings to get a good idea as to what makes them tick.
  2. Self-Confidence, Not Arrogance
    They say there’s nothing more attractive about a person than their ability to wear confidence in a cool and casual way. In other words, arrogant assholes are just as bad as people with a low self-esteem. Hurt people hurt people, and you never know when or how your image will come back to bite you in the ass. You may be dealing with a bad reputation or just a bad view on yourself as a lover. Either way, you’ve got to squash that shit with a quickness because horny partners can smell fear from a thousand paces. Bring plenty of checked confidence to the table and your partner will open up like a delicate little flower.
    JUST THE TIP: Start saying a confidence building mantra every day (or least before you hop in the sack) because it helps generate positive self-talk and bedroom bravery.
  3. Personal Cleanliness
    Schweaty balls are only funny on old-school SNL skits. They don’t go over so well in the bedroom and there’s a bunch of good reasons for that. First of all, it’s fucking nasty and it smells bad too. Secondly, dirty dicks and vapid vaginas are much less attractive than well-kept ones. That’s just a fact of life. Personal cleanliness, therefore, increases your chances of getting laid, even (and especially) around people who know you very well. Shower daily, keep your breath fresh, and apply antiperspirant/deodorant several times per day (if needed). For extra good measure, only wear undergarments that are new, fresh and properly fitting.
    JUST THE TIP: Be careful changing your grooming habits without informing your partner of your intentions because such actions can sometimes be misconstrued as signs of cheating.
  4. Candid Honesty
    Now is not the time to keep secrets from your partner. After all, you’re trying to get deep within their “soul” at some point, am I right? Since openness breeds intimacy, it makes sense to demonstrate vulnerability every now and then, especially if it’s going to get your dick wet. Few lovers want to fuck under duress and many people view deception or dishonesty as reasons to fight. On top of that, you’ll want to bring this kind of energy to the table simply because it gives you both an opportunity to air grievances, determine hard/soft limits, and speak about all the things you want to do to one another, which in turn can count as verbal foreplay if you do it right.
    JUST THE TIP: Think ahead of time about some specific topics you’d like to cover or clear up, that way the conversation can stay concise and focused on the issue at hand.
  5. Open-Mindedness
    There’s no point in being honest if you’re not willing to be open-minded about the things you hear. Keeping a closed-off mindset can make your partner feel like their wants and needs aren’t important to you. It can also drive a wedge between you two because of the self-ostracizing that often follows. Nobody wants to feel like a freak in the sheets unless it’s in a good way. The tables could eventually turn and you’ll want your lover to be just as accepting of your desires as you were of theirs. How about compromising if something is way off the Richter scale instead of just dismissing it entirely? Didn’t you mother teach you to treat others the way you’d like to be treated?
    JUST THE TIP: Brush up on some of the latest trends in sex tech and sensuality to make sure you fully understand what your partner’s talking about when they mention new things.
  6. Basic Knowledge
    Speaking of understanding what’s being said, it’s important to gain at least some fundamental knowledge on the current adult entertainment industry. Things have changed over the last few years, and market innovations are being churned out at the speed of light. We now have a masturbation machine equipped with artificial intelligence (the Autoblow A.I.) and devices built for speed that sync up to 3D virtual reality porn content. If you don’t know what’s out there or understand the basics of how to use it, then you probably won’t have a clue how to please your partner in creative ways when they come begging for it. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.
    JUST THE TIP: Read some real consumer reviews and skim through some sex toy buyer’s guides to find out what the cool kids are up to these days.
  7. Ample Supplies
    Imagine taking a bunch of time to arouse your partner only to find out that you’re ill-equipped to give them what they want. That’s a rookie mistake but, fortunately, it can be quickly remedied. You see, all good and gracious lovers have a myriad of marital aids on deck, with the proper supplies to use them as directed by the manufacturer. And while a decent love life doesn’t necessarily require sex toys, keeping a couple within arm’s reach helps you establish trust, maintain fluidity, and promote spontaneity. It also makes kinky experimentation much safer while simultaneously substituting for most of the confidence that you and/or your partner can’t muster in the heat of the moment (or between recovery sessions).  
    JUST THE TIP: Be sure your supply of personal lubricant is compatible with your skin type(s) and with the materials of any sex toys you plan to use.
  8. A Clean Bill of Health
    The clap – our wonderful world’s most commonly diagnosed sexually transmitted disease (or STI if you’re new school). Not to make this sound like a middle school health class, but chlamydia is nasty and catching it is a real possibility if you’re not careful. Other things like syphilis, gonorrhea, herpes and hepatitis are out there too, and some of those bastards have no cure. I’m sure your partner would be more willing to fuck your brains out if they were 100% sure your dick wasn’t dirty. Wrap it before you tap it or take yourself to the doctor for regular checkups. Otherwise, play Russian roulette with your balls while trying to convince your partner that you’re scratching so much because you moonlight as a DJ on the weekends.
    JUST THE TIP: The recommended guidelines for STD/STI health screenings are listed on the official website of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

When you bring awesome to the table you get awesomeness in return. It’s as simple as that. Your partner wants intense pleasure; that’s what’ll keep him/her running back for more. So give it to them like a porn star by preparing a personal perversion foundation that can’t be shaken (unless you want it to be). 

The 5 Signs of Established Intimacy

Really quick: I think it’s important that we talk about the five factors which make up a healthy intimate relationship (or at least a relationship that’s stable enough for good sex and/or the adjustments that need to be made hereafter). Couples who possess the following things are generally more adaptable to changes in roles, responsibilities and routines. So, make sure these signs are evident in your relationship or else this entire endeavor is going to be an embarrassing shit show for the both of you:

  1. Both Partners Are Attracted to One Another
    You know you’re ready for some serious fooling around when you’re die-hard attracted to your partner and they’re just as attracted to you. If things have gone stale or one of you looks different, try to re-establish certain grooming habits or do your best to imagine the other person as you saw them when you first met.
  2. Nobody Is Sick with Illness or Disease
    Fucking isn’t far away when you’re both happy and healthy – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially or otherwise. There are many ways to feel sick and some of them can’t be cured by a doctor. If one of you feels down or has an issue that requires time to heal, allow for a proper recovery and/or find creative positions to explore while you wait.
  3. Fidelity Has Remained Intact
    You could be doing everything right and still not fit your FWB’s fancy because of pent-up resentment from a not-so-pretty point in the relationship. Couples who remain faithful typically enjoy better and more frequent sex, so keep your dick in your pants if you want this to work out.
  4. Orgasm Is Reached Often
    Couples who cum together stay together. That’s what it says in scholarly papers that discuss the relationship problems stemming from premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. If one or both of you is not achieving a righteous climax at least 80% of the time, either spice things up with a sex toy or see a doctor because that shit’s not normal.
  5. There’s No Abuse Involved
    Of course, great sex always originates between two consenting adults who know exactly what they want and are getting it from the partner they desire. That’s right, fantasizing about someone else isn’t cool, bro. Emotional abuse hurts too, but physical and sexual mistreatment can be even more damaging. Couples with mutual respect enjoy mutual orgasms more often than not.

Knowing where you stand with your partner is the first step towards getting where you want to go with them. Try to be grateful for the small efforts you see them make and be humble too. Perhaps your sex life isn’t completely snuffed out, it’s just hibernating until the beast wakes up again.

The Dirty Dozen: 12 Signs of Sex Life Problems

Did you know that almost half of all modern-day duos admit to having faked an orgasm with a partner at least once during their relationship? Did you also know that being deceitful about your level of pleasure during foreplay, masturbation or sex rips off both partners in a totally avoidable way? Being able to recognize the most common hiccups that sexually active couples face is a great way to get ahead of the curve on this one. Not many people realize the importance of this step but reviewing the top causes for sexual awkwardness, tension and apprehension can help folks reduce their encounters with unsatisfying sex (while simultaneously making them appear as loving, faithful angels to their struggling partners).

These are what I like to call “the dirty dozen” – 12 things that can get in the way of a decent sex life no matter how hard you try:

  1. An Inability to Become Aroused
    Problems with libido are serious and may be the result of low testosterone levels or depleted energy reserves. At times, arousal issues may stem from mental or emotional blockages as well. See a doctor if you can’t get over the hump by yourself.
    SOLUTION: Eat a healthy diet, get plenty of exercise, and utilize all-natural male enhancement products (MEPs) whenever possible.
  2. Premature Ejaculation Habits
    Premature ejaculation, or as I like to call it, “two pumps and a mash-down,” is rooted in a lack of self-control brought on by overstimulated nerve endings. It may very well be the cause of your relationship woes but the good news is that it’s treatable with the correct approach.
    SOLUTION: Try using a sex toy that’s made specifically for stamina training or continue taking MEPs until you’ve reached your ideal endurance level.
  3. Untreated Erectile Dysfunction
    According to medical professionals and sexual health experts, ED affects more than three million men in the United States alone. There are numerous causes and many of them can be treated by a doctor or physical therapist with topical treatments, prescription medications, and penis pumps when all else fails.
    SOLUTION: Support proper reproductive function by having your prostate checked according to your family physician’s recommended exam schedule.
  4. Personal Problems with Penis Size
    Did you know that the average man’s penis is only about 5 inches in length when fully erect? Let’s not talk about flaccid dicks because that can get embarrassing. The average woman’s g-spot is located about 6 inches inside her vagina, so you see the problem. Most men want a bigger cock already and I haven’t heard many women complain about it either.
    SOLUTION: Crank up the volume by using a high-grade penis pump to enjoy short-term improvements to length/girth or go all out with a penis extender for long-term growth.
  5. Loose Pussy Power
    I can’t just sit here and rag on the guys because that wouldn’t be fair. Sometimes the problem comes from the other side of the equation. A twat that’s lost its tightness can be uneventful to say the least, and it’s caused by a wide variety of things from childbirth to injury. Now do you see the importance of engaging in open, honest conversation before tackling this shit?
    SOLUTION: Have your lady friend insert ben-wa balls into her vagina for pelvic floor tightening exercises that double as kink, fetish and orgasm enhancement.
  6. Vaginal Dryness
    When there’s a desert at the Y, nobody’s having a good time. Vaginal dryness is usually caused by hormonal changes in the female body, typically surrounding childbirth, menopause or surgery. Prescription medications can affect pussy moisture too, and so can bad attitudes, poor techniques and a low self-esteem while we’re on the subject.
    SOLUTION: Use lots of skin-safe, water-based lube to prevent the pain of friction or see a gynecologist for more information on ways to treat the problem naturally.
  7. Orgasmic Disorder
    Recurrent delays and/or a complete absence of the ability to climax during sex is a surprisingly common problem among both men and women. It’s caused by a variety of things, some mental, some emotional and some strictly physical. Here’s a hint to help you find out which one it is: Experts say that nearly 40% of women prefer clitoral stimulation over g-spot penetration. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
    SOLUTION: Expose your partner’s erogenous zones to specially made devices for people who have a hard time cumming without constant, intense stimulation to the genitals.
  8. Sexual Pain Disorder
    SPD is caused primarily by a psychological trigger that affects the brain a lot like performance anxiety. However, sexual pain disorder can also be caused by physical problems, especially if the person has experience with or a history of engaging in deep, rough intercourse. Links have also been made between low estrogen and vaginal dryness.
    SOULTION: Take it slow to start out with and only increase the intensity of penetration if your partner asks for it.
  9. Physical Injury or Disability
    Disabilities don’t have to ruin your sex life but it’s important to realize that they can significantly limit the things you can do with a partner (at least for now). Injuries are especially delicate matters to move around, so have patience with yourself and/or your partner is the healing process is taking longer than you’d like it to.
    SOULTION: Utilize well-made positioning furniture whenever possible or consult a sex position guide for tips on how to enjoy penetration in creative ways.
  10. Certain Illnesses
    Everybody feels under the weather from time to time, but certain illnesses can take an enormous toll on a person’s sex life. Between the side effects of the bug and the side effects of any medications being administered, ill partners may not be able to perform like usual or enjoy sex like they once did. Don’t hold it against them. Just work together to find a solution that suits both people.
    SOLUTION: Maintain good health by eating a proper diet and doing daily exercise as well as making routine dates with your doctor to see about treatments that don’t affect your libido.
  11. Poverty
    They say poverty kills passion and it most certainly does among couples who aren’t creative enough to establish and/or maintain a healthy sex life during financial hardships. Strains on a relationship can be heavy when money is light, so think outside the box when you feel boxed in. Oddly enough, experts say that couples who make less than $20k per year are less likely to argue than folks who make more than that. Go figure.
    SOLUTION: Do your best to create a small savings account for things that can help enrich your relationship and support your new-found intimacy.
  12. Straight-Up Boredom
    Tired bedroom routines can turn otherwise amazing techniques into dreaded activities. How would you like to eat chocolate cake for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day? Don’t answer that. The point is that boredom can creep into a relationship quicker than anything else, causing major issues if it’s not taken care of properly.
    SOLUTION: Establish a weekly or monthly date night with your partner whereon you both get an equal opportunity to explore something new about your sexuality.

BONUS: Lack of Commitment

Experts say that women are especially reactive to commitment in a relationship. According to their studies, gals are more than twice as likely to reach a successful orgasm when they’re sure about their partner’s intentions. So, as much as you’d like to just hit it and quit it, that probably won’t do any of you any favors. That same study showed that only about 15% of all one-night stands ended with any satisfaction at all.

10 Tips to Help Rekindle the Flame

Now that you know all about the things that keep people from having good sex you can finally start working towards having a better experience in your own home. There have been several tips sprinkled throughout this guide and I sincerely hope you’ve been paying attention because I don’t plan to repeat myself with the 10 quick tips listed below:

  1. Open Up That Dialogue, Baby
    Now’s the time to start talking about your individual wants, needs and fantasies while trying to match up those filthy things with the intimacy goals within your relationship. Speak on things like hard and soft limits, personal preferences, experience levels, equipment possession and knowledge, as well as lifestyle hindrances and skin sensitivity concerns.
    NOTE: There are five different skin types in this world and no two people are exactly alike. With that said, try to stay away from using any pleasure product that contains parabens or phthalates.
  2. Give a Damn About the Man in the Mirror
    Don’t wait to start taking better care of yourself both as a human being and as a frequent visitor to Pound Town. Pay closer attention to things like your clothing choices, the types of underwear and/or lingerie you’re wearing, the scent of the perfume or cologne you put on, the style of your hair and the quality of your manscaping. That’s right, you might have to shave your balls a little bit. Can you handle it?
    NOTE: Try to listen for subtle clues from your partner to help determine what they find attractive about you the most, then exemplify those newly discovered qualities by diligently grooming your appearance and behaviors accordingly.
  3. Date or Masturbate: That Is the Question  
    There’s nothing wrong with self-love but you’ve got to learn how to spread that shit around. Sometimes, masturbation just won’t cut it for much else besides pre-gaming preparation. Eventually, you’ll have to come up off that high horse and take your partner to paint the town red. Hell, you can even plan a stay-in date if you’re creative enough. The point is to make time to woo your woman before you lose her for good.
    NOTE: Romantic dates can consist of anything that requires physical closeness and mental or emotional stimulation. You don’t have to spend a fortune to have a great time either.
  4. Expand Your Playbook
    There’s nothing wrong with stepping outside your comfort zone from time to time, especially if it means pleasing your partner in a safe, sexual way. Expanding your horizons may mean expanding other parts of your body, but nobody would do it if it didn’t feel amazing. Incorporate sex toys, test out new positions, use performance enhancement products like supplements, pumps and extenders, and explore your entire body until you find something to love.
    NOTE: Fear not. Most sex toys come with a set of instructions from the manufacturer and/or a list of dos and don’ts to help newbies become acquainted with today’s technology.
  5. Say What’s Up, Doc
    Even if you’re not sexually active with a partner and especially if you are, getting regular checkups is important for so many reasons. Have your doctor check for any latent injuries, communicable illnesses, trauma or health problems that may reduce your ability to enjoy sex. This could include anything from vagina dryness and hormonal problems to erectile dysfunction and Peyronie’s Disease (or an unnatural/unwanted curvature of the penis).
    NOTE: Try to follow your doctor’s orders to the letter because this guide should not be counted as medical advice in any way, shape or form.
  6. Let Nature Take Its Course
    The value of an all-natural male enhancement pill cannot be overstated. Back in the day, those things were extremely questionable so I understand how some men might be skeptical still. However, today’s proprietary blends can help men build more substantial love lives through a naturally boosted libido, longer-lasting erections, harder boners, and increased sexual stamina. When combined with other techniques, this is one of the most effective methods for rekindling the flame in a stalled-out relationship.
    NOTE: Not all MEPs are made the same so be careful to read all the labels carefully before choosing the one that’s right for you. Also, ask your partner about which areas you with struggle the most so you can pinpoint the perfect pill.
  7. Feel Each Other Up
    If you really want to get your partner in the mood to do the deed, start touching them a little bit more throughout the day (if you can). Whenever you pass by each other, reach out and let your hand brush up against their body. Hold hands. Be playful. Try to hug and snuggle as often as possible. Whatever you do, make as much physical contact leading up to sexual intercourse as you can. In some households, that’s the kind of shit that makes babies.
    NOTE: Refrain from engaging in too many public displays of affection until you know how your partner feels about it or until you’re more comfortable with your surroundings.
  8. Say It with Your Chest
    Pay your beloved compliments from the heart and you’ll see a steep increase in the amount of sex toy have and the level of passion thereof. One of the major love languages is language itself, so speak up if you want your lover to know how you feel about them. Speak kind words about their appearance, their personal/professional accomplishments, their sexy behaviors and their everyday acts of kindness. Make them feel visible and appreciated so they’ll make you feel an amazing orgasm (or ten).
    NOTE: Sometimes it means more to put your compliments in writing or pay them in front of other people as a way to confirm your commitment to the other person. Just a suggestion.
  9. Make It Happen, Cap’n
    Remember how studies showed that couples have more sex when they help each other out around the house? Yeah, well, now’s the time to kick your domestic side into overdrive. Nothing makes a woman wetter than a man with a broom in his hand. Help clean up the abode, run an errand for your lover, fix something that’s broken, or assist them with something that they’ve said is important. Either way you slice it, this makes someone indispensable in their partner’s life and solidifies a commitment to them at the same time. Plus, your mama will finally have a reason to be moderately proud of you so there’s that.
    NOTE: You’ll have to get personally organized to be of any use to someone else in this regard. The last thing you want to do it piss your lover off because you fuck something up while trying to help them
  10. Honor the Oxymoron, Moron
    Teddy Pendergrass taught us to try a little tenderness but hardcore porn shows people screaming with pleasure over being reamed like broken pinata all the time. This oxymoron likely has a lot of people confused. I think the band Tenacious D said it best when they sang, “You don’t always have to fuck her hard. In fact, sometimes it’s not right to do. Sometimes you’ve got to make some love, and fucking give her some smooches too.” The rest of the song is up to you to learn but the point is, be aggressive with your desires but gentle with your approach. Don’t worry, you got this.
    NOTE: Remember the value of teamwork when adjusting your takeoff and landing because a little submission on your end could result in a majorly positive shift on the other side.

If you can successfully incorporate at least half of these tips into your regularly scheduled program then you should see amazing results in a matter of weeks. These things can take time, though, so don’t put too much of a fine point on it. This may end up being a learning exercise for both of you and that’s perfectly okay. In fact, going through trials and tribulations can increase closeness between partners, especially if those two people are mature enough to handle silly hiccups and natural pauses in sexual activity as a busy, growing couple.

The Dos and Don’ts: How to Have Better Sex with Your Partner

Now that you’ve got your partner melting like a Popsicle in the sun, it’s important to know how to wield that kind of power like you’ve got some common sense. Nobody wants to lose a good thing once they’ve got, so don’t spoil the moment by making rookie mistakes. Few partners care to give reminders in the heat of passion, plus these are things it seems like everybody understands. Maximize your perverted potential by minding your manners with proper intercourse etiquette. Just follow this short list of dos and don’ts, is that easy enough?

THE DOS

  • DO create pockets of time at least three times per week to ensure maximum exposure to one another without causing any boredom or staleness.
  • DO play with your lover as often as humanly possible because, let’s face it, laughter is the best medicine and can be a major aphrodisiac.
  • DO get daily exercise and eat a low cholesterol diet to keep blood flow to your nether regions in check.

THE DON’TS

  • DON’T ever use sexual contact, intimacy or attention as a weapon, threat or bargaining chip because it can cause resentment and dread for physical activities.
  • DON’T be greedy in the sack. Nobody wants to fuck a partner who’s only worried about themselves. That’s what watching porn is for.
  • DON’T try to explore too many new things without involving your partner as doing so may ruin any trust you have established.

Couples who follow these rudimentary rules are usually better off overall in the long run. A foundation of mutual respect and understanding is always crucial to enjoying healthy sex life, but you won’t hear about that very often because, as I assume, most people just want to get right down to the part about penetration. As wonderful as that is, you both have to realize that there’s a lot more to this shit than a couple of genitals slapping together. Laying the groundwork is vital and maintain the foundation is mandatory. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.  

 

 

About Blake Parker

Blake Parker makes Ron Jeremy look like Mother Theresa. His honest take on allthings pertaining to pleasure and relationships has made him a household name that’s synonymous with sexuality. Blake’s unique perspective on toys and techniques prepares the mind and body for more than just an incredible orgasm. Hisentertaining sex toy reviews, buyer’s guides, and How-To articles inform consumers of what nobody else will say. His readers demolish emotional/physical strongholds, tear down social taboos, and become more comfortable in their own skin as he and his partner enlighten the world one sex toy at a time. Notoriety isn’t the goal with Blake; satisfaction is.