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The 11 Best Sex Machines for Men in 2020

By Blake Parker
The 11 Best Sex Machines for Men in 2020

No matter what a partner says, you are not a sex machine. You have physical, mental and emotional limitations that can dictate what happens in the bedroom. Your body is not made of metal and moving parts; it’s organic and it can only take so much. The same can be said about your lover. He or she isn’t capable to maintaining the same level of passion and/or intensity every second of the session nor every single time you get together. A legit sex machine, on the other hand, can make up for what you and your partner lack in the sack because it has no feelings and it doesn’t need a smoke break. And thank God that a bunch of innovative manufacturers agree because we now have more self-driven orgasm devices than ever before in the history of mankind.

In fact, the automatic sex toy industry is starting to out-perform the manual models and it’s mostly because people are looking for more realistic experiences, not just flesh-like materials and tons of built-in pleasure features. Intuitive sex is where it’s at right now and the trend doesn’t seem to be slowing down. The invention of high-tech machines for sex is actually increasing in speed, with a few toys even being featured on mainstream media sources like Men’s Health Magazine, Playboy, and the View. The future is now and there’s no stopping it. The only thing you can do it hop on board with the best possible machine money can buy.

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It can be tough to determine which device is the best buy, especially since they all look so great and have such amazing feedback from consumers. They can’t all be perfect for you and/or your partner though. After all, little snowflake, we are as different from one another as these tech-savvy machines are from the baseline competition. There’s only one way to find out which one is right for you and that’s by comparing the top-selling options in a clear and objective way. Unfortunately, you can’t count on manufacturers and marketers to do that for you because they almost always have an agenda. In response, I’ve composed my own list of the top 11 best sex machines for men in 2020 and these were the honorable mentions:

#1 The Autoblow A.I.

The Autoblow A.I.

The makers of the Autoblow A.I. are a bunch of normal guys who just wanted to experience a realistic blowjob without having to beg their partners every damn day. They set out to build the world’s very first sex machine equipped with artificial intelligence and they succeeded in ways nobody expected. After thousands of hours of research (AKA: digitally analyzing oral sex techniques from porn stars in slow motion), their team developed a BJ simulation machine that takes lip service to a whole new level. Its on-board smart computer switches performance modes until the user ejaculates or shuts off the power. Now that’s what I call guess work.

Aside from that, this bad boy features 9 other preprogrammed pleasure functions including one called “Edging” that’s designed for stamina trainers and couples. Simply press one of the built-in buttons on the front of the durable casing and let the good times roll. The fleshy silicone sleeves are interchangeable and made to fit all penis sizes plus they’re easy to clean and feature lifelike detailing on the top for enhanced visuals. Position this monster any way you like it or give it to your partner for effortless stimulation. Whatever you decide, don’t forget to use plenty of lube because this son of a bitch is no joke.

Pros
  • Plugs into the wall for non-stop stimulation
  • Compatible with cock rings, butt plugs and prostate massagers
  • Comes with a limited 1-year warranty from the manufacturer
  • Made from skin-safe materials
Cons
  • Removable sleeve is somewhat difficult to re-install

#2 The Fleshlight Launch

The Fleshlight Launch

This bad boy may be powered by Kiiroo but its yet another amazing concept from the Fleshlight folks. The Launch is basically just a self-driven housing unit for your favorite full-size manual masturbator from the brand’s massive inventory, so it’s a great buy for someone who’s a collector or fan of the company. However, it’s also a terrific option for any couple that wants to interact with one another during a long-distance courtship. The built-in compatibility allows for the transfer of real-time movements and sensations, plus everything can be experienced in 3D high resolution and surround sound (as long as you have the right equipment, that is). 

Some say this monster is a bit too much for the average man and I can certainly see why. Still, the machine itself boasts a built-in, touch-sensitive control pad that makes the high-tech functionality and customizable porn experiences null and void. Either way, it can stroke a man’s penis at speeds of up to 180 pumps per minute and syncs quickly to various X-rated games, videos and performances with a simple Bluetooth connection. Couples and/or individuals can use the Fleshlight Launch to experiment with different sensations and scenarios without even being in the same room. It’s like having a heavy-duty sex robot without all the terrible dancing and off-key singing.

Pros
  • Rechargeable via USB
  • Compatible with the Kiiroo Onyx 2, Pearl 2 and Cliona
  • Can be used wirelessly
  • Made from skin-safe materials
Cons
  • Can be too large and heavy for some users and/or occasions

#3 The LELO F1s Developer's Kit (sDK)

The LELO F1s Developer's Kit (sDK)

Believe it or not, the F1 counts as the world’s very first SDK-enabled sex toy for men and it has started a trend in the pleasure industry as a result. Modern-day manufacturers are clamoring to develop something similar but the LELO brand has the market cornered with this remarkable device. It lets the user go right into the developer’s software to determine exactly what kinds of sensations they’ll experience. Meanwhile, the machine itself is equipped with a series of preprogrammed modes and the entire thing runs off of a high-powered motor that has a relatively decent lifespan with all things considered. In my opinion, this is the perfect toy for gamers.

The F1S Developer’s Kit helps men bridge the gap between their primal instincts and the elevated stage of human development we’re currently on. The integrated and simplified functionality certainly helps but you still may need a degree in programming to figure this one out. Regardless of its complexity, users can switch it up by playing with the pre-programmed pleasure modes when they’re sick of being geeks. The deep, rumbling sensations are the product of satisfying sonic waves (not standard vibrations which can desensitize the nerve endings). Therefore, guys with sexual performance problems can actually benefit from learning a few things about technology this time. Who woulda thunk-it?

Pros
  • Features a pleasure window for enhanced visual stimulation
  • Rechargeable via magnetic USB
  • Super silky canal with minimal texture
  • Made from skin-safe materials
Cons
  • May be too complicated for people who aren't tech savvy

#4 The CyberSkin Twerking Butt Elite

The CyberSkin Twerking Butt Elite

Allow your wet dreams to cum to fruition with this lifelike sex machine for men. The Cyberskin company is all about making masturbation feel more realistic and their Twerking Butt Elite is a testament to that. It’s an app-compatible pussy and ass combo that features dual stimulation points and is equipped with a multi-speed vibrating motor that massages the penis until it ejaculates or gets sick of feeling like the star of the show. Did I mention that both canals are also self-heating thanks to the built-in warming mechanism? It doesn’t get much better than that unless the damn thing got up and made you and sandwich afterwards.

Either way, this little number is life-sized and weighted for some serious thrusts. The curved, perky cheeks expose her highly detailed openings which hide 6 magical performance modes and 6 rumbling vibe speeds. You can also download a free app that plays customizable videos and music via your smart phone or use it with compatible equipment for a 3D virtual reality experience. In a surprise turn of events, the Cyberskin Twerking Butt Elite comes with its own virtual reality goggles, a sample of lube, some material renewal powder, a canal cleaning douche and a convenient storage container for under the bed.

Pros
  • Comes with a wired remote control (no batteries needed)
  • Can accommodate most penis sizes
  • Does not require addition equipment purchases
  • Made from skin-safe materials
Cons
  • May be too heavy for people with mobility limitations

#5 The Automilker

The Automilker

The makers of the Automilker obviously understood a man’s anatomy a little better than most because the device itself challenges our current concept of what a male masturbator should be. While the rest of the world tries to remake the same old models, Very Intelligent E-Commerce has taken it a step further by redesigning the idea altogether – birthing a new era of sexual gratification and ushering in a more inclusive future. The Milker doesn’t look or perform like any other toy on the market and it’s not necessarily made for all genders. Still, my partner said it reminded her of a much more sophisticated version of the Cobra Libre II and that’s good enough for me.

Having said that, I suppose I should mention that this device is made primarily to stimulate the frenulum, or corona, of the penis which causes involuntary ejaculation. However, the designers made sure to craft something that was fun for that entire erogenous zone. When opened up, the Milker is capable of sending heart-pounding vibes to the wearer’s perineum as well. This is also when he can perform a full stroke or two because of the hollow canal created, thus ending each session with a sensation that mimics real penetration but feels about 100 times better. This, my friends, is what we call a jackpot.

Pros
  • Fully submersible in water
  • Accommodates all penis sizes
  • Whisper quiet operation
  • Made from skin-safe materials
Cons
  • No storage container included or available

#6 The KIIROO Onyx +

The KIIROO Onyx +

Let the good times roll because we have highly intuitive, super durable yet surprisingly dainty devices like the Kiiroo Onyx +. It’s an automatic sex machine for men and its capable to stroking the penis at up to 140 strokes per minute without any manual manipulation whatsoever (minus a quick application of lube, of course). It’s made to pinpoint the pleasure centers on the penis with an insane amount of accuracy and it’s supposed to sync easily with a partner’s device for real-time play. Compatible with another Onyx + or the brand’s female version, the Pearl, this thing takes interactive orgasms to a whole new level and back again.

The machine itself is encoded with tons of 2D and 3D erotica but that’s not even the good part. Although the device isn’t nearly as powerful as some of its competitors, it still uses 10 contracting rings on the inside of the chamber to mimic the sensations of lifelike intercourse. Combined with live webcam sessions, porn content and/or the right environment, the KO+ can substitute for missing partners to promote more intimacy in long-distance relationships. It can even be used in manual mode in case you and your lover want to make it more personal. To top it off, there are no spare parts, apps or remotes to keep track of because everything is operated via a built-in, touch-sensitive control pad on the side.

Pros
  • Rechargeable via USB
  • Compatible with the Fleshlight Launch
  • Made from skin-safe materials
Cons
  • Requires additional gear to use as intended
  • Extremely short battery life by comparison

#7 The Autoblow 2+ XT

The Autoblow 2+ XT

The folks who made the world’s very first male stroker with artificial intelligence also made a less sophisticated model that can generate extremely realistic blowjob sensations with the touch of a button. The Autobow 2+ XT, which stands for “Extra Tight” is a force to be reckoned with even if it’s been overtaken by a bigger brother. Travel-friendly and compact yet just as powerful and convenient, this sultry sex machine features a set of three beaded pleasure rings that are designed to simulate the sensations of an enthusiastic tongue-down. According to its fans, there’s only one other device on the market that can pull something like that off and it’s made by the same brand.

Rated for over 500 hours of use without interruption, the all-metal motor is built right into the ergonomic casing which, by the way, features a convenient gripper pad for manual control if you so choose. Scroll through the variable performance patterns with the integrated control pad and keep training your dick to behave the way you want by using the machine in conjunction with your favorite online porn videos. It can even be used by couples due to its user-friendly dimensions and lightweight construction. By the way, the sleeve is interchangeable so you can swap them out until you find the one you like.

Pros
  • Plugs into the wall for nonstop stimulation
  • Can accommodate all penis sizes
  • Made from skin-safe materials
Cons
  • Sleeves may be difficult to reinstall for some users
  • Not as feature dense as the A.I.

#8 The Fleshlight Quickshot Launch Vantage Pack

The Fleshlight Quickshot Launch Vantage Pack

For the longest time, men who were using the clear, open-ended Quickshot sleeve from the Fleshlight company were left behind in the sex tech revolution because the brand’s Launch device was only compatible with their full-sized masturbators. Then, all of a sudden, the manufacturer introduced the Quickshot Launch and everything changed. It’s a fully automated sex machine that houses the insanely popular sleeve voyeurs love so damn much. On top of that, it locks the sleeve in place securely enough to manage a remarkable stoke speed of up to 250 pumps per minute. Have you ever heard of such a thing? No. No you haven’t.

The cradle is more like a light-up rocker arm that’s surprisingly easy to use. The machine is operated via a series of built-in, touch-sensitive buttons that are fitted into the dual handlebar design at the top. Up there you’ll also find a universal smart phone mount because the toy is made to perform based on synced porn content and prerecorded performances when the encoded modes aren’t in use. It offers variable stroke lengths as well, with each one based on a specific pleasure zone on the penis. With more than 60 minutes of rechargeable run time and the option of plugging into the wall, there’s virtually no limit to the things you can experience.

Pros
  • Can accommodate all penis sizes
  • Ideal for stamina training exercises
  • Made from skin-safe materials
Cons
  • May be too bulky and noisy for discreet men
  • Sleeve is not interchangeable

#9 The KIIROO Titan 'Feel Porn Stars' Experience

The KIIROO Titan 'Feel Porn Stars' Experience

The Kiiroo brand’s version of a high-end stamina training device is their TITAN ‘Feel Porn Stars’ Experience, which is just a fancy name for an automatic male stroking device equipped with high-tech capabilities that enhance the quality of the user’s orgasm. Its equipped with 9 vibrating bullets already, so the fact that it can also sync up to online porn content is a fucking mind-blowing concept. Stroke speeds and intensity levels can be manually controlled through a LED control pad and the device can be used without all the nifty sex tech if you so choose (although I’m really not sure why anyone would do that, but I digress).

Either way, the TITAN can be enjoyed five different ways – with a lover’s compatible device, with interactive X-rated games, with 3D content, with 2D videos or with a live webcam performer (if you can find one). There are about 4000 options at your fingertips though, so that shouldn’t be a problem. Hint: The FeelMe website that the device is compatible with. The real-feel sleeve only adds fuel to fire in your pants too, especially considering the fact that it’s ribbed for your pleasure. Hailed as one of the best endurance building machines for men, this bad boy takes self-control completely out of the picture.

Pros
  • Rechargeable via standard USB
  • Gripper pad on the exterior for easier couple’s play
  • Made from skin-safe materials
Cons
  • May not be powerful enough for all users
  • Sleeves are not interchangeable

#10 The Autoblow Pulse

The Autoblow Pulse

Their Prostate Pulse toy is an anal vibrator that seems to have been designed by people who actually listen to what consumers want. Not only is it proportionate to the average man’s body but it’s also jam-packed full of pleasurable features to make each session as satisfying as humanly possible. Best of all, it’s not a complicated contraption and it’s made for use with or without a partner. Did I mention it comes with a wireless remote and each of the motors can be used together or separately? Oh yeah, that part.

My first impression of this thing was that it looked pretty standard. All the same parts and pieces were there but something felt different. The Autoblow Prostate Pulse Massager has the heavy-duty construction we all desire but it’s super lightweight and covered in a thick material that resembles real human skin. Moreover, the device stands out because of its unique shaping – a detail included to pinpoint the p-spot and/or g-spot with crazy accuracy. This bad boy is therefore ideal for individuals, couples, newbies, professionals, and pretty much anyone in between.

Pros
  • Deep, divergent vibe patterns
  • Super flexible shaft for maximum comfort
  • Made from durable, skin-safe materials
Cons
  • May not be big enough for some users
  • Remote control range somewhat limited

#11 The Robo Fuk Thrusting Sex Machine

The Robo Fuk Thrusting Sex Machine

Robo Fuk is a relatively unknown sex toy brand but that doesn’t mean they can’t churn out some amazing products. Take their Thrusting Sex Machine, for example. It’s designed to either insert an attached dildo into the receiver or allow for hands-free penile stimulation depending on how you use it and which device you hook up to its thrusting arm. By the way, the arm rotates 360 degrees and is equipped with adjustable speed settings too. Control everything through an ergonomic control pad that features an easy to use scroll wheel for quick customization. Ideal for couples and BDSM, this bad boy leaves little to be desired.

It’s also suitable for both men and women, with two luxurious sex toys included with your purchase – a real-feel dildo that measures 7.2 inches in total insertable length and 5 generous inches in girth, plus a lifelike masturbation attachment that resembles a pussy with a 9.5-inch ribbed canal that has a tight .2-inch diameter. The machine itself can be used without manual manipulation and it even has an easy-grip handle for improved control. Best of all, it comes pre-assembled and includes its own storage container so nobody has to know how much of a pervert you really are.

Pros
  • Plugs into the wall for nonstop stimulation
  • Comes with dual fastening options (suction cups and screws)
  • Made from skin-safe materials
Cons
  • May be intimidating to newbies

It doesn’t have to be a complete pain in the ass to determine which one of the top 10 sex machines is right for you. Yes, each one is a hot seller because of its ability to generate a freakishly good orgasm, but that doesn’t mean they’re all going to support the kinds of experiences you’re looking for right now. Versatility may be a key component to having a good time every time but too much of a good thing can be bad and everyone knows that. The best way to approach this shit is to educate yourself on the options and then create some solid criteria with which to judge each one. Let’s get started.

What Is a Sex Machine for Men?

When you hear the words “sex machine” you probably picture a creepy sex robot like the one from that “Whitest Kids You Know” sketch. However, the reality is quite a bit more sophisticated than that and we should all feel lucky for it. The modern-day sex machine is usually a handheld or lap-sized device that generates pleasurable movements and sensations using industry-leading technologies and durable, skin-safe components. Some are geared towards a specific type of experience while others are made to be more adaptable. Either way, today’s top stroking toys for men are nothing like the rudimentary contraptions of the past nor anything similar to that creepy robot from the skit.

Contemporary models come in all shapes and sizes these days, with a wide variety of features and performance modes to choose from. Modern men can finally customize their sex, foreplay and masturbation sessions in new and exciting ways with these innovative inventions in place. Usually, functionality is controlled through either a built-in button panel on the device, via a wireless remote control, or through a downloadable smart phone app. Operations are typically tailored to the user’s specific preferences and motors are either equipped with artificial intelligence, preprogrammed to run at certain speeds and intensity levels or both.

The Main Features

Despite the fact that the sex toy industry has all but exploded over the last few decades, and regardless of how diverse today’s selection may be, there are still some basic features that all male sex machines share. After all, each one is designed to provide the man using it with the most intense orgasms possible – usually in a super easy way too. So, before trying to tell them apart you might want to understand the ways that they’re all similar. Here are the five main features they share:

  • Anatomical Dimensions
    Gadgets for gratuitous masturbation always have dimensions that are conducive with the bodies of those using them. In other words, male sex toys will be sized and shaped for the average man’s penis while female sex toys will feature dimensions appropriate for the average vagina. Fortunately, there’s no shortage in anatomical correctness when it comes to these things. In fact, a few are made to accommodate all penis sizes and a couple can be used even when you’re not erect.
  • Flesh-Like Materials
    Because so few men want to masturbate with a material that feels like alien sandpaper, in-touch manufacturers have started creating patented substances that look, feel and behave like real human skin. These substances are formed into luxurious, skin-safe materials before covering high-tech components and robust machinery. There’s actually a fight on the market about who has the most realistic stuff. Unfortunately, you have to be the judge because what feels good to me might not feel that great to someone else.
  • Canal Textures
    As if a fleshy material wasn’t enough to significantly improve the realism and pleasure derived from a male sex machine, these manufacturing bastards went and upped the ante by adding specialized textures inside the penis canals. You’ll find everything from vaginally inspired bumps and ridges to tickly nubs and nodules positioned perfectly for the player within. With the right brands you can even customize the texture, select a premade one from an inventory of molded pussies or swap your existing sleeves out for something brand new whenever you feel like it.
  • Performance Modes
    Well-made machines for masturbation allow for hands-free experiences with or without a partner, meaning they’re typically equipped with several performance modes that can be explored with the click of a button. You’ll likely find things like varying stroke speeds, tailored intensity levels, enhanced vibration or sonic undulation, automatic feature changing, edging functions and compatibility with other devices and/or virtual reality platforms. It all depends on how deep you want to go down the rabbit hole (and how much money you’re willing to spend).
  • Detailed Orifices
    What’s a male sex toy without all the amazing visuals? A female sex toy, and probably not even that. Today’s pleasure product ambassadors understand the value of voyeurism, which is why many of their devices come equipped with highly detailed features (especially on the outside). You’ll come across lips, vaginas, assholes, and non-anatomical openings, plus you’ll have the opportunity to combine your favorite orifice with a specific kind of experience given you purchase the appropriate equipment, of course.

Understanding the similarities helps you figure out how the top gadgets differ from one another, plus it makes you sound so much cooler when you’re in the local adult entertainment store or talking to a customer service rep online. Nobody wants to feel like a noob but acting like a boob is totally lame. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and follow along because there’s more to learn before you can start throwing cash around like Daddy Warbucks.

Who Uses Them?

The layman might assume that high-tech sex machines are only used by a specific class of men who either have too much time, too much money or not enough real pussy in their lives. However, that couldn’t be further from reality. In fact, these things are commonly enjoyed by a wide range of guys and the members of this not-so-exclusive group are from all walks of life, including (but most likely not limited to) the following: 

  • Horny Guys with Nothing Better to Do
    You don’t have to be a porn star, a creep or a loser to enjoy using one of these things. I mean, the features are usually geared towards the average Joe-Hoe anyway and there’s nothing wrong with a little assisted bump and grind in between lovemaking sessions with your partner (or self if you’re perpetually single).
  • Kinky and/or Curious Couples
    Speaking of sex with partners, did you know that these devices can be used by a couple under the right circumstances? As a matter of fact, a few of them are made specifically for that kind of entertainment, with specialized features put in to encourage real-time interactions regardless of space and time. It’s pretty trippy, man.
  • Serious Stamina Trainers
    Because automatic pleasure devices can produce pleasure despite a lack of manual interaction from the user, it’s much easier to engage in stamina training exercises. Your much less likely to quit pumping when you’re using a machine that does all the hard work for you. As such, self-driven toys are a must-have for many endurance enthusiasts.
  • Men with Mobility Limitations
    There’s nothing more frustrating than having a boner and not being able to do anything with it. Sex machines therefore win where specialized positioning furniture fails. However, a combination of the two may result in orgasms that are far too intense for the inexperienced man. You have been warned.

See? Good gadgets for great sex are all over the place. It’s just that most people don’t openly talk about using them out of fear of being ostracized by their peers. The funny thing is that more folks enjoy sex toys than we initially realized. So as soon as the first automatic machine was introduced to the market, the once quiet fans started coming out of their shameful hibernation. As a result of the suddenly increased demand, the market now suffers from a nasty case of the bullshits and only the strongest consumers survive.

Things to Look for

Knowing what to look for when shopping is the best way to sift through the riffraff and find something worthy of your time, attention and money. That’s the case no matter what you’re looking for but it’s especially important when hunting down the ideal sex toy. After all, your idea of pleasure might not be the same as someone else’s. Don’t let anyone tell you that this is not a subjective undertaking or that they know what’s best for you. Manufacturers will try to do that and it gets so fucking annoying. At the end of the day, try to remember that you’re the one fucking this thing, not anyone else. Here are the four things you’ll want to look for prior to laying down the dough:

  • The Dimensions
    Check the size and shape of the device you’re considering because it will determine how much pleasure you get from it and when you can use it. For instance, extra large machines probably won’t be good traveling companions even if they come with a travel lock feature. Furthermore, the dimensions often dictate the user’s ideal penis size and can have significant baring on whether the machine can be used by a partner or not. By the way, when I say “dimensions” I’m talking about the device’s overall weight as well. Heavy toys can be a serious pain in the ass to use. Take it from me.
  • The Materials
    You’re going to run into all sorts of sex toy materials but they’re not all good for your health. Stay away from anything that has latex, phthalates or parabens if you can help it. Those chemicals have been linked to serious illnesses and are still in use today (rarely, but still). If it’s within your budget, try to go for materials such as platinum-cured or medical-grade silicone, tempered glass, thermoplastic elastomer (TPE), polyvinyl chloride (PVC), stainless-steel, synthetic rubber or a patented polycarbonate blend. Just make sure your favorite lube is compatible with the toy’s materials or things could get ugly with a quickness.
  • The Features
    Look for something that has plenty of pleasure features but isn’t so complex that you can barely figure out how to use it. Devices like that are all over the place because everyone’s trying to jump on the high-tech, automated sex bang-wagon and you know how that goes. For best results during sex, foreplay and/or masturbation, pick out something that has features like variable vibration patterns, customizable stroke modes, integrated motion sensors and syncing technologies for couple’s interaction. If at all possible (and it is), find a device that allows for those kinds of things with the touch of only a few easy-to-reach buttons.
  • The Compatibility
    When it comes to sex machines for men, compatibility is key only when you want to use other devices in tandem with your new toy. Aside from the basic cock rings, pregame penis pumps and male enhancement products, you’ll want to look for something that promotes enhanced pleasure through different positioning techniques and user-friendliness at the same time. For a more intuitive sessions, track down devices that can be used with a wide range of different compatible toys, accessories and maintenance supplies. I’m talking about mounts, sleeve warmers, tech gear, smart phone apps and that kind of thing. Just keep in mind that those extras can drive the cost of the experience up to hookerish levels.

The good news is that even simplistic sex machines can generate mind-blowing climaxes if you use them as directed by the manufacturer. Most models have been diligently designed and/or tested for efficacy and safety too. The future is now, motherfuckers. Don’t miss your chance to make a tremendous cum-back in the sack.

Things to Know

There’s only one more lesson to be learned before I’ll let you kids graduate onto bigger and better things, like jerking off with a high-tech sex machine designed specifically for men. I need to make sure you guys are safe out there, which means I have to inform you of the things that nobody else will. For starters, you’ve got to know yourself better than these sleazy advertisers because their bread and butter is based on your ignorance. Make them work for their money by knowing the following five things like the back of your hand:

  • Your Skin Type
    Understand that there are at least five different skin types that we know of. Also try to grasp the fact that your skin type might not be compatible with every single sex machine you see. It’s a cruel world but that’s the way the cookie crumbles, my friends. If you know you have allergies to certain materials, lubes or sex toy cleaners (or if your sensitive to specific substances), stay away from products that could cause a problem. If all else fails, use a condom when masturbating with a non-compatible device. Just don’t blame the manufacturer when you get a rash on your balls.
  • Your Intentions
    Sex toy makers will try to sell you a dream but only you know what the perfect sex scene looks and feels like. Familiarize yourself with the ideal experience and then try to find a device that lets you recreate the scene as closely as possible. Try to talk to your partner before doing anything crazy because their opinion matters too (and it might not mesh with your own). Furthermore, if you’re looking for strictly penile pleasures and nothing more, don’t go out and buy something that stimulates the prostate gland. I can’t believe I even have to tell you guys this but you’d be surprised by how many consumers get caught up in clever advertising.
  • Your Lifestyle
    When I was a kid, I wanted to have a pet monkey but it didn’t exactly suit my lifestyle because I shared a room with my brother and he was allergic to having fun. Fast-forward twenty years and I still have to watch what I bring home because of neighbors, roommates, family, friends and partners. My lesson to you is this: Carefully consider the realities of your living situation before spending any money on a sex machine. You’ll want something that melts into your daily routine without causing too much of a disruption. That means saying no to extremely loud gadgets and extra-large devices that are difficult to hide.
  • Your Gear
    Did you know that some sex machines require extra equipment to use them as intended? Most devices are self-contained examples of our collective ingenuity but others are a reminder that nothing is free in this world. Think long and hard about the gear you’ve got on hand right now and ask yourself if you’ve got the guts to go big or go home. There’s no wrong answer here but one thing is for damn sure: You can’t experience certain things without the proper equipment to back it up. And while many of us learned that fact of life way back in middle school, some guys need a reminder because marketers have done such a good job at making their products look amazing as stand-alone devices even though they’re technically not.
  • Your Budget
    Speaking of spare parts and bonus gear, budgets should always reflect those things proportionately to you and/or your partner’s intentions. Keep in mind that you’ll never get away with buying a sex toy without spending money on some compatible lubrication and appropriate material cleaning supplies. Add in the cost of harnesses, mounts, extra sleeves, batteries and storage containers and you’ve got some big numbers on your hands. Satisfying sex should be considered an investment in your health and happiness, so just make sure your budget is flexible enough to accommodate that fact. To save a little money, see about buying your products and accessories as part of a kit.

The process of picking out the perfect pleasure product is a bit more scholarly than you originally thought, isn’t it? Indeed there’s a science behind all of this and you’ve officially got a PhD. If, at this point, you’re able to get duped by the sex toy brand then it’s your own damn fault. No seriously, you should have read the reviews before forking over the cash.

Final Thoughts

Modern-day sex machines are not scary or intimidating. They’re ergonomically sound, user-friendly devices that churn out reliable and pleasurable sensations at the touch of a button (or two). Brand ambassadors will charm you but the right option depends on your subjective views of the product. I therefore urge you all to proceed to the checkout line with caution because, let’s be honest here, none of us were expecting the sex toy market to look or feel this good.

 

FAQ

Q: How am I supposed to clean a sex machine when I get done using it?

A: In general, high-quality devices are made to be user-friendly and therefore extremely easy to clean. They’re all different though, so be sure to check the owner’s manual for detailed information and instructions. For the most part, however, these toys can be quickly and efficiently cleaned by using warm, fresh water and a non-abrasive, hypoallergenic soap or sex toy cleaning solution. Always let the machine dry completely before putting it up in storage.

 

Q: I assume there’s a special way to store something like this. Is that true?

A: Yes, storing automatic sex machines requires a few specifics that may not be needed when storing a traditional device. For instance, you probably shouldn’t keep your toy need moisture of any kind unless expressly permitted by the manufacturer. It’s best to store your products out of direct sunlight too, as doing so might compromise the integrity of the materials. Never keep your machines in places that are exposed to extreme hot or cold temperatures either. If at all possible, stow your products in a clean, dry area that’s out of the reach of pets and children as well. For best results, spring for any storage containers offered by the maker or keep your products hidden upright in bedside drawers, closets and medicine cabinets.

 

Q: What happens if my device malfunctions or breaks for some reason?

A: Most sex machines for men are made to be durable and withstand lots of pressure and friction. Be sure to check the owner’s manual for detailed information on the dos and don’ts of usage. Check for any product or performance warranties form the manufacturer and try to register those warranties within 30 days of the purchase date to prevent them from going void. Remember that some devices carry warranties that don’t cover user negligence, so enjoy your toy responsibly at all times. In the event that your plaything malfunctions in some way, contact the manufacturer as per the instructions provided to find out what can be done about it.

 

Q: Is there anything I should NEVER do with a sex machine?

A: Using an automatic sex device for men is relatively easy if you follow the manufacturer’s instructions and it’s generally safe as long as you act responsibly. However, it is possible to sustain injury if you’re not careful about your approach and habits. Do not forget to use a high-quality lubricant that’s compatible with your skin and materials on the device. Also, choose a machine that’s covered in a hypoallergenic material so you and/or your partner don’t experience allergic reactions or skin irritation. As always, be sure to clean your toy after every use to prevent bacterial buildup and possible infections.

 

Q: Can I use one of these toys if I have Peyronie’s Disease or erectile dysfunction?

A: Your ability to use a male sex machine while dealing with erectile dysfunction and/or Peyronie’s Disease (curvature of the penis) depends on the design and dimensions of the device. Usually, however, automatic orgasm gadgets aren’t made for unnaturally shaped or sized cocks. Check the specs to find out whether the toys you like are appropriate for your body type. If all else fails, use your machine in tandem with erection supporting products such as sex furniture, cock rings, penis pumps and extenders. For more information, talk to your doctor.

 

Q: Do I need to possess any special skills or equipment to use a sex machine?

A: The required skills and equipment required to enjoy one of these things depends on the overall design and functionality of the device itself. Manufacturers will inform you of any spare parts or gear needed to use the product as intended. Look at your owner’s manual for more detailed information. Understand that the higher the technologies used, the less skill you’ll likely need. However, interactive devices sometimes call for things like virtual reality goggles, secure internet connections, mobile data plans, online porn database subscriptions and specialized material renewal products. Instructions will always be provided and access to customer service the norm, however. So, even unskilled persons can enjoy complex machines without making an enormous additional investment if they purchase the right device.

Author
About Blake Parker

Blake Parker makes Ron Jeremy look like Mother Theresa. His honest take on allthings pertaining to pleasure and relationships has made him a household name that’s synonymous with sexuality. Blake’s unique perspective on toys and techniques prepares the mind and body for more than just an incredible orgasm. Hisentertaining sex toy reviews, buyer’s guides, and How-To articles inform consumers of what nobody else will say. His readers demolish emotional/physical strongholds, tear down social taboos, and become more comfortable in their own skin as he and his partner enlighten the world one sex toy at a time. Notoriety isn’t the goal with Blake; satisfaction is.