Mankind has been on a mission. When we’re not curing cancers, solving global climate change or fighting for basic human rights, we’re busy seeking the best possible orgasm any man can achieve. We’ve been doing it for millennia and it doesn’t look like things are going to change anytime soon. Quite honestly, the trend seems to be going in the complete other direction if you’re paying any attention. The important work we’ve done as a species has now elevated the average man’s sex life in such a way that old-fashioned lovemaking no longer fits his bill. Mission: Accomplished.
The invention of the first synthetic male sex toy was an enormous part of this natural progression, with inspiration being drawn from the homemade devices floating around bedrooms all over the world. Its creation ushered in a new phase in human development and debauchery, one which thankfully stopped many of us from slapping together our own pleasure products in a dirty kitchen. However, some people still attempt to craft homemade sex toys for men and it’s always entertaining when they do. After all, it’s that kind of ingenuity that brought us out of the dark in the first place.
Unfortunately, too many folks are still living in the Dark Ages of self-pleasure and couples play, with some of them either going without the sexual experiences they truly desire or simply not knowing how to accomplish their fantasies without causing too much of a stir. The brave ones continue to create their own toys at home, and a few of them are actually kind of cool. But contrary to popular belief, it’s NOT cool to use one of those things without getting a proper education on the pros, cons and options first. So, here we go.
What Is a Male Sex Toy?
Put as simply as humanly possible, a male sex toy is any synthetic or homemade device that can be used for sexual arousal and/or stimulation. These items are especially pleasurable to the penis, glans (balls), perineum and prostate. In fact, sex toys geared specifically towards men tend to have specialized features and functionality, not to mention exceptional manufacturing, durable construction, and additional safety components for enhanced user-friendliness or versatility. Unlike the pleasure products of yesteryear, today’s devices are far more sophisticated and regularly enjoyed without the stigmas that existed in the past.
Male sex toys now come in all shapes and sizes, with dimensions ideal for every experience level on the planet and colors, materials and textures to match every taste. Gone are the days of having to craft your own sweet surprises at home unless you want to. The modern marker has a little something for everybody, which is probably why so many guys choose to purchase their playthings instead of making their own. Either way, one thing remains abundantly clear: men want better orgasms and they’re going to get them come hell or high water.
Who Uses These Things?
Everyone keeps saying that male sex toys are crazy popular but it doesn’t always seem that way to the untrained eye. Research reveals the truth about male sexuality and the habits thereof, yet millions of men are still uncertain about whether it’s okay to jerk off in private using a tool or toy. Let’s set the record straight once and for all: It’s perfectly natural for a man to masturbate and it really doesn’t matter what he uses to do it as long as it’s safe and legal. That’s where male sex toys, whether synthetic or homemade, come into play for most modern-day men (and women, if we’re being honest).
You don’t hear a lot about these toys unless you go looking because, quite frankly, they’re products aimed at very personal matters and that’s not the kind of stuff you talk about at the dinner table. What we do behind closed doors is our business, but that also makes information hard to find when we’re in the market for something new. But regardless of how these things get made or selected, male sex toys are most commonly used for the following purposes:
- PURELY PLEASURE
First and foremost, sex toys were built to provide erotic pleasures to the human body, so it should come as no surprise that they’re most commonly used for that purpose. As a matter of fact, the vast majority of devices available on the market today have been crafted with only that goal in mind. Even now as we discover more about the male anatomy and its reaction to stimuli, only a handful of toys are made for any other purpose besides pure, unadulterated fun.
- STAMINA TRAINING
Slowly making an impression on the industry are the stamina training units now in existence. The often-rudimentary devices serve as our very first attempts at satisfying the collective desire to be better in bed. Their curious designs and specialized features help us increase our sexual endurance through techniques like nerve desensitization and forced ejaculation – two things that very few homemade toys can pull off without causing pain, injury or worse. Best of all, some stamina training devices are equipped with automatic motors for hands-free “learning," with the Autoblow A.I. being the most aggressive of them all.
- FRISKY FOREPLAY
When pleasure is on your mind but you’re about to do the deed with a partner instead of by yourself, it’s important to come packing the right gear. Male sex toys, whether made in a factory or at home, can dramatically enhance the experience for both partners because they bring a new element to the session without requiring a third party. This is especially useful when one or more of the people involved has issues with inexperience, premature ejaculation, performance anxiety, and/or mobility.
- CURATED KINK
Some men have very specific things in mind when they’re having sex and/or masturbating, but that’s just because we all have our own unique idea of what feels good and what doesn’t. Kinks are carefully curated tastes and desires that can only be satisfied through extreme or unusual means. So, using a properly constructed male sex toy is often the best (and only) way to experience that kind of thing without paying for a hooker or ripping your dick to shreds in the process.
- FETISH FULFILLMENT
Whether he likes to admit it or not, every swinging dick on the planet has a fetish (or two). It can range from seemingly innocuous things like an appreciation for feet to more intense compulsions like cuckoldom and orgasm denial. Usually, some sort of sex toy is employed to make sure everything goes according to plan without anyone getting hurt. Think about it: fetish fulfillment is a delicate matter, and that means it requires patience, fortitude, open-mindedness and a bunch of kick ass gear.
- EROTIC EXPERIMENTATION
You don’t have to be a virgin to enjoy a little erotic research. Hell, even porn stars like to try new things every once in a while, so it goes without saying that the average man enjoys spontaneity as well. Usually, those kinds of adventures begin only when a synthetic and/or homemade male sex toy is included. Look, it’s one thing to have fantasies, kinks and fetishes that you want to explore, but it’s another to have the proper tools to get it all done.
- SEXUAL RELATIONS
Sex toys of any make or model can help relationships in more ways than one. In fact, the original name for a sex toy was “marital aid,” so it makes sense that they’re commonly used by couples for enhanced play. Today’s market even offers high-tech options that feature interactive functionality and motion-sensing components, making long-distance relationships more robust while supporting in-person unions just the same. However, homemade devices can accomplish those exact goals when they’re wielded by the right hands and/or used under the right circumstances.
- NATURAL CURIOSITY
At the end of the day, many male sex toys have been bought or created because of simple human nature. Our propensity towards to the unknown and our insatiable curiosity have brought us to this very point in our history. Men who are curious about their bodies, their sexuality, or the boundaries existing within their relationship tend to have the best experiences with synthetic and/or homemade pleasure devices. That’s not to say, however, that dudes who feel confident and satisfied with their sex lives can’t (or don’t) ask questions too.
Men (and women) who use sex toys, whether synthetic or homemade, obviously have good reasons to do so. That fact, in and of itself, is precisely why the industry has become so large over the last few decades and why the taboos surrounding it have long since been erased. So, regardless of our habits, perversions and engineering prowess (or lack thereof), there will always be room for more pleasure devices as long as human beings enjoy orgasms. The only thing we can do at this point is learn everything we can about the main differences between the two types.
The 10 Differences Between Synthetic and Homemade Sex Toys
The world is a dangerous place, and curiosity is what ultimately killed the cat. It’s important to know what you’re getting yourself into, especially when “into” involves your penis and anything but a doctor approved vagina or asshole. Orgasms are good but they don’t have to be so risky when you’re properly educated. With that said, here are the 10 most glaring differences between synthetic and homemade male sex toys for your careful consideration:
- The Quality
In general, homemade male sex toys are not nearly as high quality as the synthetic ones. Factory made devices typically feature better construction overall, not to mention they’re made by companies that can be reached at a later date in the event that you have a problem, malfunction or injury.
- The Durability
Artificial pleasure products can vary widely in durability but they’re collectively more robust than homemade models because of the different construction methods and materials used. Many also come with their own storage containers too, making them much easier to take care of and hide from nosy onlookers.
- The Features
Homemade products have whatever features the maker can put on them, but the at-home creation of sex toys can be extremely limited for several logical reasons. Therefore, synthetic devices typically have a lot more to offer in terms of pleasure features, plus those features are usually safer and more fun to enjoy.
- The Ergonomics
Ergonomics were almost unheard of until just recently, but since their discovery they’ve been included on almost every product made for personal use (including sex toys for men). Unfortunately, incorporating the science into homemade male sex toys is virtually impossible unless you have the means for sophisticated manufacturing methods (then it’s not homemade anymore, is it?).
- The Materials
When you make a sex toy at home, you end up using whatever you can get your hands on. And while some of he materials feel great, men aren’t always certain how their body will react to the chemical makeup. On top of that, procurement of adequate materials can be a huge pain in the ass.
- The Pleasure Settings
When was the last time you heard of a homemade sex toy for men having special pleasure settings to explore? You haven’t, and that’s because the majority of today’s homespun playthings are crafted out of everyday household items like fabrics and foods, not industry-leading technologies and state-of-the-art materials. How much of a simple man are you, honestly?
- The Customization Options
Pleasure products with plenty of room to grow help a man experiment with his libido and sexual endurance, but it’s extremely difficult to customize a homemade sex toy past the point of its initial creation. So, unless you have a degree in engineering, at-home devices will also come up short.
- The Safety
Devices that get made without the supervision of a manufacturing expert may not be safe enough to use on the human body, but that doesn’t stop some men from trying it anyway. Synthetic products must pass a series of rigorous tests before getting sold to the public. Your homemade plaything doesn’t have any standards and that can be dangerous.
- The Cost
Male sex toys made in a factory are sold at a premium and are exorbitantly more expensive than most homemade products. Some even require special equipment to use them as intended. However, both forms require things like lube and toy cleaner, but at least synthetic devices won’t likely land you in the hospital.
- The Warranties
The only quality promise you’ll get from a homemade pleasure product is the one you give yourself. Crossing your fingers that everything works out is not a wise choice, nor is it enough to protect yourself again something going wrong. Not all synthetic sex toys have them, but absolute none of the homemade ones do.
Granted, no two homemade or synthetic pleasure products are the same. There’s also a vast discrepancy between the bottom and the top of the barrel here. Some homemade devices can outperform factory-made toys and if that happens, either throw that synthetic device away or apply for a job with one of the best brands in the industry because you should be a millionaire.
The Pros and Cons of Using Homemade Male Sex Toys
News flash: There’s no such thing as perfection. When dealing with human sexuality and orgasm especially, it’s almost impossible to create anything flawless. People are just too damn different for a single item to please them all. So, even though you’re convinced that you could do a better job than the sex toy manufacturers of the world, be prepared for a little disappointment. Remember, those guys have fancy factories and talented employees producing high-end products for them and they still can’t make a perfect plaything. What makes you think you’ve got the golden ticket with those common household items in your hands? Don’t be a fool; think carefully about the pros and cons of reality:
- Often less expensive than store bought varieties
- Can be thrown away when you’re done
- Requires no special skills or equipment
- May be produced using common household items you already own
- Doesn’t take batteries, charging cords or plug-ins
- Compatible with all lube types
- May not come out the way you intended
- Could contain non-hypoallergenic materials
- Might not provide the level of pleasure you desire
- Can be very inconvenient to use
- Production is often extremely messy and frustrating
- Is not covered by any quality guarantee or warranty
- May cause property damage or injury
Be sure to carefully weigh the pros and cons before choosing your path to perversion. Remember, homemade toys may be a quick solution to an ancient problem, but at least synthetic products come with someone else to blame for any problems that arise.
The 5 Main Types of Homemade Sex Toys for Men
If you’re still convinced that a homespun sexual experience is the way to go, congratulations, you’re Amish. Just kidding. You’re probably just curious, anxious, horny or all of the above. My friends, don’t face this cruel, cruel world without something in your knapsack. Here are 5 awesome homemade male sex toys for you to try out:
- The Fifi
The fifi is an old-school device that’s commonly used in correctional facilities by guys who can’t get laid if they wanted to. As a predecessor to the modern-day pocket pussy, fifis provide the same hands-on stimulation of the penis using a variety of fabrics, strapping systems and canal textures. They’re one of the more complex devices to construct but the materials needed are extremely inexpensive, easy to come by, and simple to hide in the event of discovery (hence their use in prison settings).
AVERAGE SHELF LIFE: 3 to 6 months
USER-FRIENDLINESS: Difficult to clean without disassembling
PLEASURE FACTOR: Textures are tricky to create/maintain
- The Tootie-Fruity
The Tootie-Fruity was one of the world’s very first sex toys for men. Invented by the first guy who shoved his dick into a piece of fruit, this self-pleasure device cost a fraction of your grocery bill and can be tossed in the trash when you’re done. Textures are determined solely by the type of food you select, plus there’s usually an outer casing already provided in the form of a rind. Best of all, TFs function almost exactly like fifis but without all the rubber bands and laundry.
AVERAGE SHELF LIFE: One-time use
USER-FRIENDLINESS: Can be tailored to fit all penis sizes
PLEASURE FACTOR: Sound effects and lubrication included
- Sponge Bobber
Invented out of pure necessity but still used to this day, the Sponge Bobber is yet another toy that looks and acts a lot like the gold standard fifi. It’s crafted out of a common kitchen sponge and can be enhanced with various textures through the addition of different wrap-around materials. It’s also a terrific option for men who like to be in control of the pressure inside their masturbation canals because it’s soft, squeezable and super simple to operate.
AVERAGE SHELF LIFE: 3 to 6 months
USER-FRIENDLINESS: Difficult to clean without disassembling
PLEASURE FACTOR: Can feel a lot like oral sex when you do it right
- The Cushion for Pushin’
As pathetic as it may seem, one of the most popular homemade male sex toys in the whole world is the common couch cushion. Be careful where you sit when you visit someone else’s house because their davenport may be the scene of their last orgasm. By putting their penis in between the slots on a couch they easily mimicked the sensations of penetration, albeit not nearly as tight or tantalizing as a real partner or a synthetic sex toy.
AVERAGE SHELF LIFE: Forever, or as long as your couch holds up
USER-FRIENDLINESS: Can be difficult to reach orgasm without a condom
PLEASURE FACTOR: Feels like an unenthusiastic hand job at best
- The Dog Pounder
Pound your puppy like MekodachiUD off of YouTube did. His latest viral video shows him transforming a regular ass dog toy into something super sexy and surprisingly sophisticated. The product of his vivid imagination has now been made and used by millions of men worldwide, all thanks to the innovative use of everyday textures and materials. This curious little number is for penile stimulation only, although it looks and acts nothing like your average fifi and requires a few more products for its construction (some of which aren’t very cheap).
AVERAGE SHELF LIFE: Forever, or until the materials break
USER-FRIENDLINESS: Easy to use, not so easy to maintain
PLEASURE FACTOR: One of the best feeling homemade male sex toys invented yet
- *BONER BONUS: THE CLONE-A-WILLY KIT
If all else fails, you can always create your own at-home sex toy like the pros do using specially formulated molding materials and a live model penis. The Clone-a-Willy Kit is technically considered a sex toy, but the entire process is completely customizable and the end result is a perfect replica of your favorite body part. Users can even choose between different colors and add a removable vibrating bullet if they’re into that kind of thing.
AVERAGE SHELF LIFE: Forever, or until you get sick of it
USER-FRIENDLINESS: Can make a major mess in your kitchen
PLEASURE FACTOR: Depends on the penis being molded
All of the homemade sex toys mentioned above have been tested for efficacy and safety by men from all walks of life. Please do not attempt to invent your own pleasure products without doing adequate research on the effects of different materials and construction methods.
The Making Of: Male Sex Toys at Home
If you insist on making your own sex toys for men despite the potential dangers and disappointments, here are a few of your best options:
How to Ma ke a Fifi
Making a traditional fifi is pretty easy if you have the right materials on hand. Gather the following items and then meet me on the production floor:
- A hand towel (full-sized bath towels not recommended)
- A rubber glove (preferably without latex)
- A large rubber band or long piece of string
Before moving on, be sure you have plenty of high-quality personal lubricant on hand because no fifi in the world, regardless of its construction, gets wet on its own and insertion can be painful without it. Now, here’s the simple 5-step process to create the star of the show:
- STEP ONE: Roll the towel longways into the shape of a rectangle.
- STEP TWO: Place the rubber glove on top of the towel with its opening in line with the towel’s opening.
- STEP THREE: Fold the towel around the glove to create a tightly formed orifice.
- STEP FOUR: Stretch the opening of the glove around the end of the folded towel and secure it with the rubber band or a tied string.
- STEP FIVE: Slap on some lube and get to jerking.
Fifis are relatively pleasurable and can suffice in a pinch, although you may want to use a towel that’s no needed anymore due to the fact that ejaculate can stain. Furthermore, use of a performance enhancing condom is recommended if the lack of texture is something that bothers you or if you can’t find rubber gloves without latex.
How to Make a Tootie-Fruity
Creating a homemade Tootie-Fruity surprise isn’t nearly as hard as you are right now. Gather these items and then get busy juicing your penis:
- A large piece of fruit (grapefruit, watermelon, cantaloupe, etc.)
- A paring knife or coring device
- OPTIONAL: Rubber glove or condom
Fortunately, you don’t need any extra lubrication without this one because fruits are already juicy on their own. Perhaps that’s why this is such a favored method for homemade sex toy making. Either way, start your engines because it’s time to race to the finish line in three easy steps:
- STEP ONE: Choose your ideal fruit based on the thickness of the peel and texture of the inside.
- STEP TWO: Cut or punch a small hole into the side of the fruit’s rind to create a passage for the penis. Be sure the opening extends deep enough for penetration.
- STEP THREE: Insert your penis into the hole and begin masturbating with the fruit’s natural lubrication until climax is reached.
The best part about the Tootie-Fruity, besides the fact that it doesn’t take extra lube, is how easy it is to make and destroy. You can (and should) throw it away as soon as you’re done using it, but it acts as a natural receptacle for your ejaculate and can sometimes be used as part of the clean-up process (i.e. oranges and lemons). Wear a condom to prevent skin irritation with acidic fruits.
How to Make a Sponge Bobber
Sponge Bob isn’t so square anymore thanks to this unique invention that just so happens to be replacing the common hand job one kitchen accessory at a time. Here’s what you need:
- A soda bottle
- Two rectangular sponges
- A sheet of bubble wrap
- Adhesive tape
This is by far the most texturized homemade sex toy known to man and it’s all because of the bubble wrap. Choose your material wisely and mix up the size of the bubbles for a unique sensation. Meanwhile, craft your new craving with these 5 simple steps:
- STEP ONE: Evenly slice off the top of the soda bottle – no jagged edges, this is not 1998.
- STEP TWO: Place the two sponges next to one another on top of the bubble wrap.
- STEP THREE: Fold the bubble wrap around each sponge individually (think: figure 8) with a small amount of space left in between. Leave a tiny bit of slack.
- STEP FOUR: Shove the wrapped sponges symmetrically into the large portion of the soda bottle (throw away the top) so that they’re standing upright with the slot between them showing.
- STEP FIVE: Tape the slack from the bubble wrap onto the sides of the bottle to protect your skin from sharp edges and secure the device as a whole.
Sponge Bobbers can be made in a matter of minutes and can be thrown away or kept after every use. They’re easy to clean, completely free to maintain, and waterproof too. As a matter of fact, the addition of moisture plumps the sponges and creates a more realistic sensation within the masturbation chamber. I dare you to try it.
How to Make a Cushion for Pushin’
Your couch is good for more than just sitting. It’s a hub of action if you know how to treat it, and those cushions are just the right size for a decent pushin’ as long as you have the following items on hand:
- A plastic baggie
- A pair of scissors
- A couch
Furniture can be a big investment, so you’ll want to keep it protected from damages (and ejaculation). While you can masturbate onto your couch anytime you damn well please, it’s still important to follow these 5 simple steps so the fucking thing can be used for something else when you’re done:
- STEP ONE: Choose a medium to large sized plastic bag and cut off the zipper top if necessary.
- STEP TWO: Put some of your favorite lube inside the bag and swish it around the cover the entire interior.
- STEP THREE: Place the lubricated bag between a set of selected cushions on the couch.
- STEP FOUR: Insert your erect penis into the bag while in whatever position you desire.
- STEP FIVE: Press down for increased stimulation.
Your couch gets a lot of ass, so it’s up to you to take some of it back. If you’re afraid of making too big of a mess, simply cover your cushions with a blanket or towel. For best results, be sure to use a type of personal lubricant that doesn’t stain fabrics (hint: water-based).
How to Make a Dog Pounder
Tell Fido to take a break and then steal his balls. Okay, so that sentence sounded extremely abusive, but it’s not all that bad once you understand what I’m saying. Gather these materials first:
- 6 rubber pet toys with exterior textures
- A rubber glove (preferably without latex)
- OPTIONAL: A sitter for your dog
These toys may be easy to make but they might be sort of expensive depending on the materials you choose. Also, it’s never recommended that you craft a homemade sex toy out of anything that’s already been used (or shoved inside your dog’s mouth). Listen cheapskate, buy something brand-new and then follow these 5 easy steps:
- STEP ONE: Leave the rubber dog toy balls in their netting if possible. If not, move on to the next step.
- STEP TWO: Cram all 6 of the balls into the rubber glove in rows of two.
- STEP THREE: Hold onto the outside of the gloved gathering to make sure it keeps it form.
- STEP FOUR: Squeeze lubricant into the glove and all over the balls (already sounds dirty).
- STEP FIVE: Stretch out the device until your penis can safely and comfortably fit inside, then squeeze the contents around your shaft and jerk off until you cum.
This is one of the more complicated homemade pleasure products, but only because it’s sort of difficult to imagine until you see it in action. Still not sure how 6 dog toys crammed inside a plastic glove get turned into a sex toy? Try using something synthetic because this is about as good as it gets.
10 Tips, Tricks, and Warnings
Although it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to build or use one of these things, it’s still important to learn a few of the finer points so you don’t find yourself up shit’s creek without a paddle. Here’s what you need to know:
- Homemade male sex toys may suffice in a pinch but they will never perform like a synthetic device. Don’t push it.
- Use plenty of lubricant, especially if you plan to choke your chicken with anything that has a texture.
- Throw away inexpensive toys and make new ones for the next round because it’s much safer to masturbate that way.
- Many times, you can gently squeeze the outside of your sex toy to increase the pressure inside its canal.
- Homespun devices aren’t usually compatible with other sex toys unless, of course, you’re talking about cock rings, prostate massagers, nipple clamps or other pleasure accessories like that.
- Taking certain homemade products into water may significantly deplete their durability, quality, safety, and value.
- Storage of at-home sex toys for men requires the same careful attention as the synthetic varieties unless the homemade toy is disposable.
- Some materials used for the creation of a homemade pleasure product may be harmful to certain skin types, especially if latex, parabens, phthalates or allergens are involved.
- Pairing lubrication with sex toy materials is a delicate matter regardless of which type of device you use. Choose wisely, knowing that oil and silicone-based lubricants have a propensity to stain fabrics.
- Wedge your newly created sex toy into a secure spot (between couch cushions, under the mattress, inside a specially crafted sex pillow, etc.). This will help transform it into a hands-free fucking device.
NOTE: As new products continually get made, we must constantly update our approach to accommodate the progress. It could be worse, though. We could still be having sex with stale loaves of bread and tanned animal hides. Don’t get any ideas.
Final Note: When to Spring for a Store-Bought Sex Toy for Men
At the end of the day, your ability to achieve a proper orgasm is what’s most important here. It’s not about what this looks like. It’s about what this feels like. If you can’t get fully satisfied by the things you’ve created in your kitchen or if you’ve suffered some kind of embarrassment or injury because of your homemade devices, it may be time to bite the bullet and look elsewhere. Nobody is debating your ingenuity here. After all, guys like you are the reason we’ve got the sex toy industry that exists today. On the other hand, synthetic devices were originally invented because of something that we all seem to understand to this day: It takes a village to raise a penis, but it takes a great manufacturer to appease a village.