Contrary to popular belief, a man doesn’t have to be a lonely loser trapped in his mother’s basement to enjoy a good sex robot. Automated and/or lifelike pleasure products used to be the stuff of wet dreams. These days, however, erotic robotics are damn near everywhere and just about everyone is enjoying it but you. The days of making fun of a man for fucking a robot are over, replaced instead with an acceptance of the fact that it feels pretty damn amazing.
The invention of robotic sex toys changed the game forever. These high-tech and high-quality bastards are extremely convenient and usually customizable too, plus they’re made specifically to stimulate the male anatomy while providing tantalizing visuals along the way. It’s almost like having sex with a real human partner, only you don’t have to buy it dinner first or cuddle with it afterwards. The hard part is no longer convincing people of the value. Now, the most difficult part about all of this is finding something you’ll actually like.
Modern-day sex robot manufacturers spend all their time conceptualizing ways to make their products better. What results is a continually flooded market filled with devices that set us back three decades in terms of technology and tolerance – a few good ones sprinkled in there and there. It’s tough to understand all the hype unless you’ve experienced it firsthand, but that’s impossible if you don’t know where to begin. Don’t knock it until you try it, folks. Just take your pick from a list of products that have already climbed the ranks.
Into tailored blowjobs but don’t want to hire a hooker for the evening or spend thousands on an expensive sex doll that can’t suck dick anyway? That’s where the Autoblow A.I. come into play. It’s an automatic oral sex robot and it features the world’s very first on-board artificial intelligence – unlike your ex-girlfriend. The most glaring difference between the two is that the AAI doesn’t complain when you ask it to change technique. In fact, the patented technology used is built to learn exactly what we like and then give it to us each and every time. Don’t text her back, bro.
With 10 different pleasure settings to explore and an innovative Edging feature, this mighty machine stimulates the entire shaft of the penis using a variety of manual or pre-programmed modes – one of which switches up the masturbation method until you either get off or shut it off. Everything is neatly packed inside a hard-outer shell that houses the robust drive-train and textured masturbation sleeve, plus you can plug it right into the wall for non-stop pleasure. Best of all, the A.I. by Autoblow uses patented skin-like materials and features a realistic orifice for oral sex and visual enhancement. So, if you close your eyes it’s almost like you picked up the phone anyway, isn’t it?
The CyberSkin brand is known for producing exceptionally high-quality sex toys and materials, especially when it comes to lifelike erotic robotics. Well, their Twerking Butt Elite is no exception. It’s actually one of my favorite sex robots because it feels so absolutely, positively real on the inside and out. My bias isn’t helped by the fact that this thing also delivers realistic twerking motions while I fuck it, but that’s neither here nor there. Truth be told, the twerking action isn’t nearly as neato as the other features it has, but maybe that’s just me being a seasoned vet.
Regardless, you can’t really say too many bad things about a robotic sex toy that has twin canals – each one with its own unique texture too. And as if all that wasn’t enough to make you blow your wad within minutes, this thing also features multi-speed vibrations for intense penile massage and it has self-heating powers as well. She can’t take on extra large dicks but she has an insertable length of 7.5 inches and a canal diameter of .25 inches, so that includes just about everybody. Debbie truly does Dallas here, folks, plus she comes with a bunch of stuff for aftercare and she has a wired remote control just in case you’re feeling frisky.
Robo Fuk is a relatively unknown sex toy brand but that doesn’t mean they can’t churn out some amazing products. Take their Thrusting Sex Machine, for example. It’s designed to either insert an attached dildo into the receiver or allow for hands-free penile stimulation depending on how you use it and which device you hook up to its thrusting arm. By the way, the arm rotates 360 degrees and is equipped with adjustable speed settings too. Control everything through an ergonomic control pad that features an easy to use scroll wheel for quick customization. Ideal for couples and BDSM, this bad boy leaves little to be desired.
It’s also suitable for both men and women, with two luxurious sex toys included with your purchase – a real-feel dildo that measures 7.2 inches in total insertable length and 5 generous inches in girth, plus a lifelike masturbation attachment that resembles a pussy with a 9.5-inch ribbed canal that has a tight .2-inch diameter. The machine itself can be used without manual manipulation and it even has an easy-grip handle for improved control. Best of all, it comes pre-assembled and includes its own storage container so nobody has to know how much of a pervert you really are.
Not into sex robots that move around a lot when you’re trying to fuck them? You’re in luck, because at least one manufacturer has heard your cries for help. The Dirty Talk Interactive Masturbator is a dream come true for guys who like to hear noises of appreciation when they’re slamming muff. This thing uses motion sensing technology to interact with the user’s thrusts, then it yells out moans and screams of pleasure as you perform. Best of all, her sexy voice escalates in loudness and intensity as you pound harder into her finely detailed pussy, thereby making climax a lot more exciting for the both of you.
What’s more is that this loud and proud robotic masturbator is covered in skin-like materials that react to your sensual touches, playful pinches and naughty slaps just like real human flesh. The rump is nice and plump and each of her two distinct pleasure canals is delicately textured for maximum stimulation and enhanced realism. Inside, her embrace is just as inviting. With a 7-inch insertable length and a .75-inch opening in the vag and 4.5-inch depth and .25-inch circumference in the anus, only a handful of men will have trouble fitting into this fully rechargeable robot.
The Fleshlight Launch was the first of its kind in several ways, but we’re not worried about innovation as much as we’re worried about penetration. This thing is designed to automatically stroke the penis at variable speeds and intensity levels, although that’s only where the fun begins. You see, this sexy robotic device can crank your yank up to 180 times per minutes, plus it can be quickly synced to encoded VR porn content for more pleasure than most men know what to do with. It doesn’t simulate any specific type of sex per say, and you have to buy a compatible masturbator to make it work, but the level of realism available is mind-bending to say the least.
This bad boy can be used in manual mode too, meaning there are several different experience options to play with and each one of them can be fully customized. The supportive online porn library boasts thousands of 2D and 3D videos and games, many of which feature performances by stars who have had their genitalia molded by the toy’s manufacturer. Together, the brand’s realistic masturbators and this fully automatic housing unit create an immersive, interactive session that’s conveniently operated by a fully rechargeable USB battery.
Hailed as one of the most user-friendly automatic stroking robots in all the land, Kiiroo’s TITAN provides the intense pleasure sensations a man wants while being extremely compact, lightweight and portable. And while it may not have the same breadth of versatility that, say, the Fleshlight Launch has, it just so happens to be compatible with it so no worries there. The powerful KT ‘Feel Porn Stars Experience’ is, in fact, exactly what it sounds like: An interactive sex toy for men that promotes the pleasures provided by porn. As a matter of fact, word on the streets is that users can access over 4,000 compatible X-rated movies with the touch of a button.
Furthermore, you can connect with a partner across the world in five different ways: 1) to your lover’s toy, 2) to the included interactive gaming platform, 3) to the huge library of 3D virtual reality shows, 4) to a bunch of 2D interactive videos, or 5) to webcam performers (included but not limited to your long-distance partner). Originally designed to help us guys improve our sexual stamina, the Kiiroo brand’s TFP Experience combines 9 vibrating bullets with a real-feel sleeve for maximum stimulation. Best of all, everything is controlled via a built-in, touch-sensitive panel and the outer casing is ergonomically designed to help you maintain the best grip possible.
Oh, Autoblow. It's like you guys sneak into my bedroom every night and spy on me while I jerk off. I sure hope I'm wrong, but if that's the price I have to pay to keep getting awesome shit like the Automilker, I'll leave the blinds open. This lightweight, compact masturbation device can be enjoyed in several different ways - all of which are supremely pleasurable to the penis and exceptionally easy to use. With one simple fold, transform this bad boy into a corona stimulation device, or unfold it and receive a full stroke that's fortified by sexy texture. This is not a test; your future self is actually the one watching.
The Automilker offers 10 distinct vibration modes but no wireless remote for a partner to play with. On the bright side, it fits all body types and has two robust motors that can work in tandem or separately. It's also 100% waterproof, USB rechargeable, super easy to clean, compatible with all non-abrasive sex toy cleaning products, and works wonders with a good water-based lube. The only downfall is that it’s completely manual by design, although it typically stays on the penis when the flap is properly closed. No promises when you start to cum though.
The Fleshlight brand is notorious for brazenly producing high-end pleasure products that target a very specific portion of the population. So, while their Quickshot Launch may not be for everybody, it’s certainly a powerful contender among robotic sex toys that gingerly stroke the penis. However, the word “gingerly” may not be the best way to describe this thing. After all, it strokes the cock at speeds of up to 250 pumps per minute (which comes up to about 4 pumps per second if you can believe that). Make sure to use plenty of water-based lube, guys. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
The machine’s curious design was conceptualized for the purposes of increasing the sexual pleasures of voyeurs (AKA: People who like to watch the action happen). It uses the transparent, open-ended QUICKSHOT sleeve and nothing else, but what it accomplishes with that singular sensation is mind-blowing. Users can enjoy up to 60 uninterrupted minutes of automated masturbation while enjoying compatible porn content via the included FeelMe library and the universal smart phone mount that’s placed conveniently above the two ergonomic gripper handles (which also house the built-in control panel, by the way). Best of all, this one can also be plugged directly into the wall for fun with the Active Launch Mode.
The makers of the LELO F1s Developer’s Kit, otherwise known as one of the sex toy industry’s biggest pleasure wizards, have done it again with their most high-tech robotic machine yet. It’s definitely not the kind of device a newbie would use, and I can see how someone with little patience would find this thing annoying, but any guy who likes to take full control over his masturbation session would be well served to listen up. Put simply: The SDK makes pre-programmed sex toys look like child’s play. In fact, this is the one and only pleasure product on today’s market that allows its user to tinker directly with its operating platform from the back end.
This magic is performed with 10 super-touchy sensors lining the inside of the insertion chamber which, by the way, is crafted out of silky, skin-like materials and has a texture filled with curved grooves for maximum stimulation. Quickly and easily control the pre-programmed modes using the built-in panel or explore all the delicious options provided through the included app. And while you’re at it, don’t forget to keep it fully charged with the USB cable because, despite all its glory and power, it loses juice quicker than 40 going west. The machine does have a clear window on the side to help you see what’s going on, so at least there’s that.
Hi there. You feel like getting fucked tonight? Hopefully the answer is yes, because it never takes me long to get horny when I see a ride-on sex machine. I’m talking, of course, about the Cowgirl Premium Remote and App-Controlled Riding Sex Machine. It's nice and nasty, just the way I like it, and now its naughty bits have been cast into a take-home sex robot that vibrates and thrusts at varying speeds. This thing is top-notch too – covered in an incredibly silky material and featuring a delicately textured shaft for superior satisfaction. It’s a lot like fucking the real thing, only this one doesn’t have all the questionable facial expressions and inconvenient complaints getting in the way.
Ride it solo or with a partner, vaginally, anally, orally or otherwise. This bastard offers a 360-degree swivel and has an extra attachment in case you get bored of the first one. Either way, hang on tight because the Cowgirl goes up to 1200 RPM and can be controlled via the included remote or through a free downloadable smart phone app. It's like the future of fucking is now, minus the creepiness and plus the padded seat. Yes, it's built for comfort and convenience, ladies and gents, even if it's a son of a bitch to lug around (which it is).
Although this curious little sex robot looks like an abomination and features dimensions that may be somewhat awkward for some users, the 3Fap All-in-One Stoker is the result of a creative IndieGoGo campaign so what do you expect? Innovative minds thought it would be funny to put a pussy, mouth and ass masturbation sleeve side-by-side in a three-part sex toy and I couldn’t agree more. However, regardless of the slightly humorous appearance of this thing, it doles out some pretty legit sensations and for that reason it’s worth every penny.
As the industry’s first and only integrated trio, curious users can finally enjoy the best spice of life: variety. Instead of continually changing out sleeves or choosing different orifices, the 3Fap Stroker lets you experience all three at once (kinda). Choose which detailed hole to penetrate and begin experimenting with the 3 distinct suction levels and 3 unique canal textures. It’s like a sexy robotic surprise hidden behind each curtain. I’ll take door number 2, Bob.
Having a bunch of suggestions is helpful. Seriously, how is that any different than having all your friends in your ear or watching as colorful ads float by on your computer screen? It’s like: “Yeah, thanks for all the advice, people. I still don’t know which sex robot would be right for me because, although they’re each terrific in their own special way, they’re not all made the same and that’s blatantly obvious.” It looks to me like you could use a few guidelines to get you started.
Put simply, these machines are lifelike robotic sex toys to that perform automatic and/or assisted stimulation to the penis (and sometimes to the other senses as well). Often referred to as an “ever-consenting sex partner,” these devoted devices come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes, from fully formed dolls to lap-sized machines that feature humanistic orifices and skin-like texturization. Either way you slice it, however, high-tech pleasure products like these allow the user to maintain complete control over the situation without having to deal with things like performance anxiety, erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation.
By eliminating the need for a partner’s consent to do nasty things, men can freely experiment with their bodies, tastes and desires sans criticism. There’s virtually no need for mutual respect, compromise or communication between the giver and the receiver either, unless of course you count pushing buttons and applying lube. Because of the simplicity of the relationship and the intensity of the sensations provided, sex robots can often suffice where a live partner failed.
NOTE: Using a sex robot is in no way, shape or form supposed to be used a substitute for actual intimacy regardless of the device’s features.
Speaking of features, it’s probably a good idea for you to know what’s most common in this arena so you don’t get sidetracked onto something else. Like I said, the market is enormous these days, which means it’s easy to get dazed and confused. So, while you don’t have to do your homework on the main features of a sex robot, it would be so much cooler if you did. Here are the 5 most common components of a worthy robotic sex toy for men:
Keep in mind that sex robots don’t necessarily look, feel or act like a real human being. You’re thinking of robotic sex dolls and those are something completely different. Remember, robotic sex toys are defined as such because they work automatically and require little, if any, manual assistance from the user. So, while interactive sex dolls are amazing that’s not what we’re talking about here. Check out our Top 10 Best Sex Dolls for more info on those.
We’re all adults here, so can we talk about a tough universal truth for a second? There’s no such thing as the perfect pleasure product. It doesn’t matter who makes it or how much it costs, everything has its own unique set of pros and cons. Erotic robotics are no exception, even if we’d like to think they are. It comes down to the fact that human beings, in all their horny glory, are simply too diverse as a species for any single sex toy to suffice for all of them. It then goes without saying that even robotic devices have a few ups and downs.
When it comes to using modern-day sex robots for men, these are the things I think everyone should know before spending any money on one:
Despite the inevitable setbacks associated with swapping live partners for robotic pleasure devices, it’s still possible to find something that works great for you. Just try to remember that some machines require extra equipment, supplies or accessories to be as awesome as advertised, plus there are only a few flaws that can’t be fixed with patience and practice. So, don’t give up on your search when you can’t find a toy that’s flawless because, quite frankly, those things are like unicorns – we all want one as a pet but it’s still just a figment of our imagination.
Fortunately, you can mitigate your dick damages by avoiding certain features and components. It’s not always easy determining these kinds of things unless you’re an old pro, so don’t feel bad if you didn’t notice them at first. Manufacturers and marketers won’t tell you anything but good shit about their products, so it’s only when you get the stuff home that you realize it’s not quite what you wanted. By that time, you’ve already burnt through a few Benjamins and wrote a stack of checks to your cock that can’t be cashed.
All that would be just fine if these machines were as inexpensive as disposable masturbators or something, but they’re not. Many of them cost your left nut and first born, so proceed with caution. Sidestepping never looked so sexy, and this is your ticket to be as picky as you want to be. Here are some things you might want to add to your evasion list:
TIP: If all else fails, wear a condom when having sex and/or masturbating with your robot.
TIP: Pick a heavy-weight device that plugs directly into the wall for the most robust, nonstop surge of power.
You might think you’ve got a PhD in robotic erotica by now but there are a few more things to learn before you can go shopping with any real confidence. These are the things that only experts know, so take them to heart because you won’t hear about them anywhere else. I mean, it’s not like the product’s manufacturer is gonna tell you about all the ways they suck and brands that do a lot of bragging get quickly cast into the fire. The only way you’ll ever understand the importance of these considerations is if you continue reading below:
Q: How do I clean a sex robot when I’m done using it?
A: The cleaning regimen of each device will vary depending on how it’s made. Further instructions for care and maintenance should be found in the box with your toy. Generally, users only have to empty out the contents of their masturbation sleeve before rinsing it out with warm water and a non-abrasive, hypoallergenic soap or spray. Sometimes, however, proper sex robot hygiene includes using specially formulated cleaning agents and/or material renewal substances to keep the device intact for as long as possible. Check the owner’s manual for device-specific information.
Q: This thing was pretty expensive, so how do I store it so it doesn’t get broken?
A: Depending on several factors, the way in which you store your robotic sex toys is primarily up to you. Many times, men simply stuff their device under the bed or inside their dresser drawer. Others might utilize the closet while some don’t give a damn and let their toy sit out for the whole world to see. That’s not recommended because it leaves the product susceptible to dirt, debris and damages. But because a vast percentage of sex robots don’t come with storage, it’s important to select a spot ahead of time. For best results, choose a place that’s out of direct sunlight and away from extremely hot or cold temperatures and moisture.
Q: What type of extra equipment do I need to enjoy the full spectrum of features on my toy?
A: The equipment required for you to explore every facet of your fuck wand is determined by its overall design. High-tech and/or interactive sex robots often need things like virtual reality gear, internet connections and online porn library memberships to function as intended. Other toys need little more than a hard dick and a power sources to get going. Either way, you’ll always want to keep some high-quality water-based lube and a bottle of sex toy cleaner on deck for good measure.
Q: I heard fucking a robotic sex toy will make me better in bed. Is that true?
A: The quality of your performance in bed is subject to many things, including your experience with extreme sensations and different positions. Therefore, the right sex robot can (and most likely will) help you improve your bedroom game if it’s used correctly. These devices are notoriously useful for things like erectile dysfunction, overcoming performance anxiety, stamina training, and long-distance relationships for that exact reason. In fact, robotic sex toys are even helpful to men who have mobility problems and/or issues with erectile dysfunction because they do most of the work for you and they have zero expectations.
Q: What happens if my device breaks after I buy it?
A: If your device breaks after you buy it, check to see if it came with a warranty from the manufacturer. You should have known that before spending any money on it, but anyway. Most warranties are only valid if they’re registered within 30 days of the purchase, so if you haven’t already done that then now’s the time. Should you toy break after that point, contact the maker for a fulfillment of their promise. Dealing with a toy that has no warranty with it? There are only three solutions for you: 1) See if there are any replacement parts available, 2) Try to fix it, or 3) Chalk it up to bad luck.
Blake Parker makes Ron Jeremy look like Mother Theresa. His honest take on allthings pertaining to pleasure and relationships has made him a household name that’s synonymous with sexuality. Blake’s unique perspective on toys and techniques prepares the mind and body for more than just an incredible orgasm. Hisentertaining sex toy reviews, buyer’s guides, and How-To articles inform consumers of what nobody else will say. His readers demolish emotional/physical strongholds, tear down social taboos, and become more comfortable in their own skin as he and his partner enlighten the world one sex toy at a time. Notoriety isn’t the goal with Blake; satisfaction is.