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You know what really chaps my ass? Wanting a decent BJ but not being able to convince my partner to give me one every time I ask. And you know what else ticks me off? Not being able to find a decent sex toy to make up for it because there are too many options to choose from. It’s a lot like going through the rigors of dating all over again, except this time I don’t get to size up my partner before I bring her home.
Fortunately, the cock-friendly cream of the crop has finally risen to the top, and now it’s much easier for us all to figure out which direction we want to go with our oral sex simulation style. So, you mean we can stop fantasizing about a professional head doctor slobbing on our nob and actually experience the real thing (well, sort of)? Yes, that’s exactly what I mean. And as long as you consider the top 10 best blowjob machines for men, you’ll be well on your way to showing off a kick-ass O face in no time (with or without a partner).
There may be hundreds of devices that can mimic the sensations of a blowjob, but only a handful of them are worthy of your time and attention. The market has spoken and the following devices are what your average consumer has determined to be the 11 best pleasure products for BJ enthusiasts.
The Autoblow A.I., which is the world’s very first male masturbation device equipped with artificial intelligence, made national headlines when it was first introduced and, quite honestly, I can see why. Created for men who want to enhance the quality of their orgasms without sacrificing intimacy with a partner, this miracle of modern machinery features a series of pre-programmed pleasure settings plus two specifically designed functions made to customize their masturbation experience in a completely new way. The on-board A.I. motor lets the machine “learn” which settings you like the most, meaning it will keep changing its approach until you either finish or shut it down. Tell me the last time you had a partner who could keep up with that.
By the way: The durable, lap-sized device doesn’t utilize traditional suction and it lacks an integrated sleeve warming system for ultimate realism, but the developers still spent thousands of hours analyzing blowjob videos just so they could create a machine that imitates the same strokes, speeds and techniques used by the world’s greatest oral aficionados. The result has inspired a change in the male sex toy industry while providing a real solution to sexual health obstacles like mobility limitations, erectile dysfunction, and premature ejaculation. So, while the Autoblow A.I. isn’t perfect (yet), the sensations generated inside its removeable masturbation chamber are just about as flawless as it gets.
The Automilker is yet another intuitive male sex toy made by an industry leading brand known as Autoblow. The company started out as a brazen IndieGoGo campaign and then blossomed into one of the most influential manufacturers in the business because of their unique ability to create toys that fulfill long-held consumer desires. Like their automatic masturbation machine, this handheld device features a streamlined combination of groundbreaking ergonomics and innovative technologies. The Automilker is, therefore, their most prominent invention yet. While the Autoblow A.I. became the world’s very first masturbator with artificial intelligence, the Milker became the world’s only dual motor vibrating penis stroker with such outstanding versatility.
The device in question provides direct stimulation to the user’s penis and doesn’t necessarily require manual motion to pull it off. In fact, you can use the Milker with or without its built-in vibrating motors turned on. This cleverly designed little bastard is made to instigate a deep, satisfying orgasm using electronic vibrations that are sent to precise spots on the penile shaft, but you can flip it or reverse it for a more experimental experience and that’s something I’ve really never seen executed so elegantly before. Sure, you’ve got TENGA Eggs and pocket pussies galore, but do you have a palm-sized machine that can be used in at least three different ways without any extra equipment needed? I didn’t think so.
It’s the world’s very first automatic masturbation machine, and even though it’s had many competitors pop up over the last few years it’s still a top contender in the BJ toy department. I’m talking about the good ole Lovense Max 2 because, c’mon, half the people you know already own one and it’s about time you sat at the cool kid’s table. This thing is compact and lightweight, perfect for travel, ideal for discretion, and not too shabby for couples either. It comes with a wireless remote control for short or long-distance stimulation and it even has a compatible app to go with it – good news for the couples and/or tech-savvy sex addicts among us.
Meanwhile, my first impression wasn’t very good because I require a lot more power than this thing can deliver. However, my chagrin is likely due to the fact that I forgot to explore the various pleasure settings offered. You live and you learn, folks. Either way, this pleasure product is and always will be a pioneer in my book. With or without the Bluetooth-ready connectivity, the suction customization vents, and the touch-sensitive control pad placed ever so conveniently on the dominant side of the device, the lovely LM2 still out-performs a sweaty palm any day. And while it may not sync with online porn databases or host 3D freak shows, it allows for hands-free stimulation of the penis and that’s all a simple man can ask for.
Designed to function a lot like its much bigger predecessor, the Fleshlight Quickshot Launch is more compact, travel-friendly version of an already groundbreaking pleasure product. It only fits the transparent Quickshot masturbator from the brand’s otherwise massive inventory, but what it can do with that single sleeve is downright impressive. And while it’s quite a bit more elaborate than most of the toys in this category, the developers did a pretty good job of making it super easy to use and a lot of fun to experiment with. This is especially true for guys who like to watch the action take place because this device uses an open-ended chamber and a clear, silicone sleeve to do its dirty work.
Furthermore, it has the highest stroke speed on the market (so far) and it features two conveniently placed “handlebars” so that users can control themselves while 2D or 3D porn content comes through their smart phone, into their attached virtual reality gear, and out the tip of their dicks in the most gloriously customized way. My favorite thing is that it can pay special attention to one of three penis pleasure zones – the bottom, middle, or top – with just the push of a button. I like to start with just the tip, just to see how it feels. And then it’s on to a little game called “Ouch, Ouch, You’re on My Hair” except my imagination is bald and my favorite porn start doesn’t bitch that much.
As one of the most user-friendly sex toys in the high-tech blowjob machine arena, the Kiiroo brand’s best-selling interactive masturbation device – the mighty TITAN – boasts half a dozen pleasure modes and delivers them in a sleek, sophisticated package that looks nothing like a modern-day sex toy. The clandestine design offers more than just simulated BJs, but the settings can be combined to create a thrill ride of epic proportions while the user enjoys a hands-free experience. So, while it’s generally marketed to beginners, many feel like the Kiiroo TITAN packs enough punch for the pros as well.
Best-known for their integrated inventory of high-end pleasure products, the manufacturer consistently creates toys that are compatible with one another and this beautiful bastard is no exception. In fact, it’s designed to work in tandem with anything out of the Kiiroo brand lineup. Plus, word on the streets is that it can even sync up to the Fleshlight Launch for doubly delicious session. It doesn’t have the power of its higher-class counterparts (hence the compatibility), but this futuristic fuck stick had me second-guessing the need for a partner while simultaneously craving togetherness.
If you’re one of those guys who likes to tinker with tech or take control of every aspect regarding your blowjobs, then the LELO F1S Developer’s Kit (or SDK) might be the perfect present for your penis. For starters, it comes with Developer Software that allows users to directly interfere with the device’s functionality, including its settings and the speeds/intensity levels thereof. Using the world’s very first SDK Sex-Tech Platform is exciting enough but enjoying the 360-degree pleasure that comes from it is fit for the history books. Just imagine what our sexually frustrated ancestors would think of us now.
The machine’s tight, ergonomic masturbation chamber is where most of the magic happens. It hosts 10 highly sensitive sensors that are designed to send anatomically correct sensations to the dick based on the selected functionality module. It’s a little complicated to use, especially for newbies, and it may take a while for people to familiarize themselves with the mechanical potential, but the intuitive manufacturer sends out access to a free downloadable smart phone app that even a trained monkey could use and you get pretty clear-cut instructions too. I was almost intimidated until I remembered that there are limitless pleasure settings to create.
This relatively innocuous looking BJ device is a lot more powerful than it seems. By that I mean it has the power to enhance intimacy between couples with just the push of a button (or two). Although not commanding as much authority as the Fleshlight Launch that it’s compatible with, the Kiiroo brand’s new and improved male-based masturbator called the Onyx + is still capable of producing fully customized orgasms using virtual reality and Bluetooth. Users can quickly connect themselves to a wide variety of prerecorded porn content and/or their partner’s corresponding toy before sitting back to enjoy the performance as it happens in real-time. For someone with hoes in every area code, the KO+ is a dream come true. I mean, it even works with the brand’s female-based Pearl 2, so we no longer have an excuse for locking ourselves in the bathroom.
The machine itself is covered in a durable material and stuffed with a realistic masturbation sleeve, plus it can be taken almost anywhere because its size, shape and construction. According to my “research,” the TSA won’t bother you at customs if it’s in your suitcase. Anyway, a device that offers superb construction and silky-smooth materials provides an adventure on its own, and it helps that the device is whisper quiet even on its most intense setting because, quite honestly, you probably won’t be. *NOTE: Noise cancelling headphones for your neighbors not included.
Some men are visual learners and that’s ok, especially now that products like the Fleshlight Launch are on the market. This hefty bad boy houses any full-sized Fleshlight brand masturbation device for men, then it syncs to a large library of online 3D porn content to deliver a mind-blowing alternative reality scene that takes place right in the comfort of our own home. I didn’t leave my house for a week and a half, but I digress. Either way, the sick stroke speeds, built-in touch-sensitive control pad, and pre-programmed pleasure settings had me shook and I’m not afraid to admit it.
It was hailed as one of the best high-tech blowjob machines for men in the whole damn world but users can only experience the magic if they buy the correct masturbation sleeve insert and case (which are both sold separately). The good news is that the Fleshlight Launch is compatible with the Onyx 2 and Pearl 2 by Kiiroo and it uses any VR goggles you’ve got lying around the house, so real-time sessions and long-distance lovemaking scenes are an instant possibility if you have the right equipment. Furthermore, this mighty machine comes with access to an enormous virtual porn stash and can be used in manual mode as well.
It feels more like a hand job “plus,” but with the right combination of settings and movements it can perform a lot like that orally talented girlfriend I had in college – quick, painless, and with plenty of help of my part. You won’t be getting a hands-free blowjob anytime soon with either one of those thing, but at least with the Hot Octopuss Pulse III you can have it your way without needing to apologize or pay for cab fare afterwards. Designed to stimulate the entire length of the penis through manual manipulation, specialized texturization and vibration, the HOP made me just a little less down with the OPP if you know what I mean.
It offers five different vibe functions but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. As one of the best-selling handheld masturbators in the industry, this masculine-looking machine features an ergonomic, grip-friendly shape that compliments the oscillating pulse plate technology that’s creating all the ruckus inside the chamber. It won’t link with other sex toys, can’t give you an out of this world VR experience, and requires plenty of muscle mass to reach orgasm, but it will get you there faster than any hand job ever will and its tightness can be tailored to your unique body type so at least there’s that.
Hailed as the most ideal pleasure device for men who have erectile dysfunction and/or Peyronie’s Disease, this high-tech blowjob machine does more than just assist guys with their sexual health problems. Featuring an extremely innovative (and hopefully contagious) flip-open design, it accommodates almost all penis sizes and can be controlled with the push of a button from its built-in control panel. Charging takes less than an hour and it can be done from anywhere in the world thanks to the universal adapter (sold separately), and that’s a really good thing considering how travel-friendly this sex toy ends up being. Just be sure to use plenty of lube because the materials have a tendency to stick to the skin.
Aside from that little drawback, the TENGA Flip Zero EV has sold millions of units thanks to its creatively accommodating construction. It even has a series of electronically produced vibration patterns to explore (hence the “EV” in its name). This relatively impressive device is one of the easiest to clean and maintain so it get major points there, plus I hear it feels amazing when a partner jerks you off with it but I haven’t had the chance to try that yet (suggestive wink at my girlfriend). After all, it looks like one of her hair styling tools so I don’t understand why she’s so afraid to use it.
Cute, compact, and convenient are the three C’s that best describe this crafty cock-gobbler. It’s one of the sleekest blowjob machines on the market but what it lacks in size it more than makes up for in sexiness. The manufacturer utilizes its patented SayberSkin material to recreate the sensations of a real human mouth, although anal or vaginal sex are possible as well if you have the right visuals (not included). Sounding pretty standard so far? That’s because I forgot to mention the variable speed functions and the device’s ability to pinpoint the most intense pleasure zones on the penis using a set of specialized rings that move up and down the shaft. Now that’s what I call fancy (sort of).
Here’s the catch: It’s not compatible with virtual reality equipment so you’ll have to come up with your own inspiration. The motion-activated functionality (which increases the price, by the way) makes it so much easier to enjoy as a hands-free plaything. However, the surprisingly large and delicately textured masturbation chamber make it a smart choice for men with bigger than average dicks and the noise level is at least tolerable if not kind of arousing. After all, battery lag is kind of hot if you’re into robot sex and you probably won’t last that long anyway.
You’ve found a few good examples, but how do you know which one’s the winner? Easy: You take a wild stab in the dark and spend all your money with your fingers crossed. Not interested in acting like a jackass? Follow these simple 3 shopping steps instead:
Today’s sex toy market is flooded with options and no two pleasure products are made the same. With that said, there are a few basic features that define these types of devices and you need to know them so you can pick out the best one(s). Most commonly, blowjob machines have specialized masturbation chambers with skin-like textures and a range of integrated settings including strokes, vibrations or both. Some are hands-free while others are manually operated, and some are made for solo stimulation while others are ideal for couple’s play. Regardless of their overall design and functionality, however, good BJ toys have anatomically correct and/or ergonomic dimensions to go along with their powerful motors and user-friendly components.
Marketers have a special education in taking a consumer’s hard-earned money, so protect your dollar by knowing yourself better than they do. Here are a few of the facts you’ll want to know before spending any dough on one of these things:
Your Skin Type
Did you know that there are still sex toy materials being used today that can cause skin irritations and/or allergic reactions in some people? That’s primarily why so many manufacturers have started using non-porous, hypoallergenic stuff like silicone, thermoplastic elastomer (TPE), polyvinyl chloride (PVC), stainless-steel, and tempered glass. All of those materials are compatible with water-based lubes and none of them cause rash or regret when used by the wrong person (because the wrong person doesn’t exist). Find out whether or not there are any aversions to a specific material or ingredient and for best results, stay away from anything that contains latex, parabens or phthalates.
Your Intentions
Before getting too carried away, remember that each of the devices offered on the modern market function, operate and behave differently. That’s all part of their charm, but it comes at a cost to the consumer. You must know what your intentions are with the toy: solo masturbation, partner play, hands-free fun, manual manipulation, etc. The ideal device is almost always determined by your answer(s) to that question.
Your Lube List
Many people overlook this, but the types of personal lubrication you use plays a significant role in the kinds of sex toys you can enjoy. For example, silicone devices can’t be used with silicone-based lubes and oil-based lubes often decrease the material’s integrity. TPE and PVC toys are more receptive to those ingredients, but water-based is almost always your best bet because it’s non-reactive to all materials and safe for all skin types. So, what do you have in your lube stash? Are the available bottles compatible with the toys in your shopping cart or do you need a minute to upgrade?
Your Equipment
Hopes can get as high as Snoop Dogg but that doesn’t mean they’re productive (or realistic). By that I mean the complexity of your favorite blowjob machine needs to match the depths of your supply cabinet. If you buy something that calls for a pair of virtual reality goggles, you better hair some on deck. If your device needs an internet connection, mobile data services, online database memberships, or external batteries, now is the time to find that out. Meanwhile, you should probably make sure you know how to use certain technologies safely because some of these things are futuristic as hell.
Your Budget
Keep in mind that many blowjob devices require extra equipment, special supplies, interchangeable pieces, detachable accessories, and/or spare parts to enjoy them fully. Ballin’ on a budget is no fun, but the struggle is very real and most people hate wasting money. Make a flexible budget so you don’t get fooled by clever, greedy marketers because it happens to the best of us. And while you’re at it, don’t forget to save room for important things like batteries, lube, sex toy cleaner, networking services, add-ons, and storage. Most manufacturers don’t provide those things, and some BJ machines even require a separate sex toy purchase to make them work.
Your instincts have been incorrect many times before, so don’t trust them now that there’s a bunch of cheddar in the trap. Trust your attentions in the direction of the individual features on each device and thrust your groin in machines that have the best quality version of those things. Look at material grade, check out the power source, preview the intensity levels and speed settings, see if there are any customizable modes, and don’t forget to measure the dimensions. Try to purchase something that comes with a warranty from the manufacturer and, as always, read the user’s manual (if possible) to make sure the device isn’t too complicated for you and/or your partner.
In the meantime, always look for the following five things on each of the blowjob machines you’re considering:
For best results, try to find something that features skin-like materials, texturization and detailing. Good devices often have mouth-shaped orifices to enhance the intensity of the experience, and the best ones usually feature fleshy coverings that look, feel and behave like the real deal. Luxury-grade machines pay just as much attention to detail on the inside, so be mindful of the internal mechanisms for a more accurate picture of how the experience will be.
The human body is a wonderful thing, but it interacts with machines in a very specific way. Ergonomics is the study of that, and high-end BJ toys are excellent examples of its practicality. Well-balanced sex toy designs make the device easier to use and enjoy for everyone, especially those with mobility limitations. Pick something that illustrates how far we’ve come as a species, lest we be forced to fuck tube socks all over again.
It’s one thing for a pleasure product to make the user ejaculate. I mean, men have been pulling that off with their bare hands since the dawn of time. The reason guys want to upgrade is because of the convenience, so don’t let a shiny casing or a bunch of settings throw you off the trail. Only buy a BJ machine that’s easy to use and simple to maintain. Otherwise, you could get stuck being dirty in all the wrong ways.
When purchasing a sex machine that mimics the sensations of oral sex, it’s important to go for something that’s powerful enough to keep up. In general, devices ran off of a USB-powered motor are significantly less commanding than a device that’s ran off of a plug-in wall outlet or pack of commercial batteries. However, convenience is always a factor here so choose wisely.
Choose blowjobs that are as adaptable as your boat in the dating pool. Try to find some that come with removeable masturbation sleeves, interchangeable canal textures, settings that are customizable somehow, etc. Anything that can do more than one job at a time or function based on the user’s unique requirements is a blessing, so take advantage.
NOTE: Remember, owning a high-powered masturbation machine that simulates a rock star blowjob is a privilege, not a right. It takes respect and responsibility, but most of all it takes organization and imagination. To fully enjoy the toy you’ve settled on, always follow the manufacturer’s instructions for use and care.
A: Some BJ makers are enormous; I’ll give you that. Most of them don’t come with storage and they’re many require special maintenance steps to keep their integrity intact. With that said, the best way to store a large blowjob machine is to create a space under the bed or in your bedroom closet. As long as you keep it out of direct sunlight, never expose it to extreme hot or cold temperatures, and always refrain from getting it wet (unless otherwise stated by the manufacturer), you won’t have anything to worry about besides nosey roommates.
A: Variety is the spice of life until you have to make a decision on a male masturbator sleeve. Choices in this department are completely subjective to the user but try to pick out something that can provide the kinds of sensations you or your partner like the most. If stamina training or couple’s play are what you’re after, choose a device that offers extreme canal texturization, molded materials, and/or a smooth surface combined with motion sensors or other technologies to increase the realism and intensity level.
A: First of all, try to buy a toy that comes with a warranty from the manufacturer. It’s not always possible, but if you happen to get lucky then you can register it within 30 days of your purchase and be covered on any accidental damages or innate mechanical flaws that the device might have. Secondly, always use your plaything as directed by the maker even if you have a vivid imagination and bigger balls than the rest of us. Last but never least, clean your machine with a high-quality solution or non-abrasive soap and keep it out of high traffic areas that are prone to having lots of dirt, dust or debris in the air.
A: A male masturbator is just a generic term for any penis-based sex toy for men, so a pocket pussy and a blowjob machine are both technically MMs. A pussy in your pocket is good for on-the-go masturbation in quick situations, with most of them being disposable or made out of lower-quality materials. They generally mimic the sensation of vaginal and/or anal sex, although some are starting to feature mouth-like openings for oral stimulation. Specially made BJ machines, however, are at the upper echelon of sexual pleasure. They’re crafted to behave similar to actual human partners while usually offering hands-free support so you can do other things (like click the mouse or turn up the volume on your porn movie).
A: Get your ruler out, sir, because these toys don’t always accommodate all penis sizes. This is especially true for guys with horse cocks and micro-dicks. Only a handful of machines house fellas from either side of the spectrum, so measure your erect cock before comparing it to the dimensions of the toys in question. Check for customizable features and/or interchangeable parts just to be sure you’re not missing out on something great because you’re “special.” As a general rule, allow for an extra half inch for human error, growth, excitement, and results from the penis pump we all know you’re using.
A: Hopefully, you have a registered warranty or at least some troubleshooting instructions from the manufacturer. Masturbation machines break down all the time, especially when they’re subjected to extreme conditions or used irresponsibly. If your toy breaks, don’t cry like a little girl. Just contact the manufacturer and see what can be done about it. Usually, you’ll get advice, spare parts, a complete replacement or all of the above.
A: The only way anything can come between you and your partner is if you let it. So, while these magical mystery rides are amazing, they’re not designed to take the place of actual human interaction. In fact, many of them have features to support or promote better intimacy between lovers, so if you fall in love with your machine and end up calling it quits on your girlfriend, it’s your own fault.
Blake Parker makes Ron Jeremy look like Mother Theresa. His honest take on allthings pertaining to pleasure and relationships has made him a household name that’s synonymous with sexuality. Blake’s unique perspective on toys and techniques prepares the mind and body for more than just an incredible orgasm. Hisentertaining sex toy reviews, buyer’s guides, and How-To articles inform consumers of what nobody else will say. His readers demolish emotional/physical strongholds, tear down social taboos, and become more comfortable in their own skin as he and his partner enlighten the world one sex toy at a time. Notoriety isn’t the goal with Blake; satisfaction is.